A PRINCIPLE FOR THE WIFE TO UNDERSTAND

According To Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam), for the wife, the Pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of her husband, and the Displeasure of Allah Ta’ala is in the displeasure of the husband. Our Nabi (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) also said that the husband is ‘your Jannat or your Jahannam’. Wives, especially if they are so-called ‘aalimahs’ (in reality jaahilahs) misunderstand the scope of their obligation to their husbands. They believe, and have even been taught in the Madrasah by their jaahil teachers, that to demand their rights and to disobey their husbands in issues which the Shariah does not impose on them, are their Shar’i right which entails no sin if demanded in conflict with the husband’s orders and wishes.
For example, it is the right of the wife to visit her parents once a week. However, for some reason, the husband prohibits her from availing of this Shar’i right. In view of the husband’s order, it is incumbent for the wife to obey him. If the husband has no valid Shar’i justification for his prohibition, he will be answerable to Allah Ta’ala and perhaps be punished. But the wife will be punished for disobeying him and for causing an uproar in the home.
It is permissible for the wife to spend her own money as she wishes. However, Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) ordered that she first consults with her husband. Now if her husband prohibits her from spending her money, then she should not disobey him even if in her opinion his prohibition is unjustified.
In a nut shell, it is Waajib on the wife to obey all the wishes and instructions of her husband as long as these are not sinful acts. If he prohibits her from a permissibility, it is Waajib to abstain. The fact that it is not permissible for her to keep Nafl fasts without the husband’s permission is sufficient commentary of this principle which wives should learn to understand and accept.