Nuqs fil Aql (intellectual deficiency) if coupled with lack of genuine khauf (fear) for Allah Ta’ala renders females extremely vulnerable preys for the concupiscent lusts of men. They become even more vulnerable when they repose trust on those who are supposed to be seniors and men of piety. Women should not befool themselves with the imaginary piety of a Maulana or Shaikh. His piety will evaporate if he relaxes his guard – the guard which Allah Ta’ala commands him to always adopt. The Ta’leemaat of the Qur’aan and Ahaadith have to be implemented in every detail. If not, no one is then safe from the predatory onslaught of the nafs and the traps of shaitaan. Women should beware and exercise extreme caution with molvis and shaikhs. In today’s era these so-called ‘scholars’ are no different from modernist fussaaq and kuffaar. Their long kurtahs and beards are deceptive outer façades which serve to trap unsuspecting, stupid women. We are aware of numerous cases of sexual misdemeanors between molvis and wives of others; between molvis and the female students they teach in these wretched girls madrasahs; between ‘khanqaah’ shaikhs and female mureeds. In this era, a woman should NOT think of becoming bay’t to a sheikh. All ‘shaikhs’ of this era are scoundrels and bogus. Don’t ever trust them. Don’t trust the molvis! Don’t trust anyone! And this applies to ourselves as well. Don’t trust us! Don’t trust even the intervening screen which the dacoits put up in girls madrasahs between themselves and their female students. These screens are there for deluding and deceiving. These screens are not adequate purdah. These screens are stupid. Molvis who teach girls should hang their heads with shame. They are a disgraceful lot of deceits. They are liars if they claim that their nafs is not incited when they teach giggling girls and hear their voices from behind the mock purdah screen. The shahwat is ghaalib. Don’t be trusting like the 30 year old lady whom we dubbed ‘vixen’. In reality she is not a ‘vixen’. She was entrapped into the tentacles of a senior Maulana who was supposed to know better. She was perhaps genuinely ‘overwhelmed by his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa’, hence lost her balance and became ensnared. But this evil Maulana misused his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa to derail a pure woman – to rob her of her paakdamani (moral purity). Therefore, never trust these scoundrels. Islaah (reformation) of the nafs is waajib at all times. But in this era it cannot be achieved from the company of these scoundrel Satanists who pose as ‘sufis’. The Mashaaikh say that when there is no true, genuine, Allah-Fearing Shaikh available, then hold on to the kitaabs of the Auliya. Read the life episodes and advices of the Auliya. Insha-Allah, you will gain the requisite Islaah of the Nafs to endear you to Allah Ta’ala. Don’t fall into the traps of these bogus shaikhs and concupiscent molvis. Don’t be deluded by their sweet talk, calling you ‘Bhen! Bhen! (Sister! Sister!)’. They are hypocrites and human devils who lure and seduce women under ‘deeni’ cover. They are wolves in sheep’s skin. Our advice to Sisters who communicate with Ulama is to do so only by e-mail or letter, never by phone. We maintain with emphasis that today it is haraam for a woman to speak to a man even on the phone, and it is haraam for her to speak to a man from even behind a screen. This is an age of the worst kind of fitnah. Also, do not communicate with just any molvi, especially if he is a so-called ‘celebrity’. And, NEVER commit the fatal moral blunder of seeking advice or deeni mas’alah from a facebook molvi. All facebook molvis are filth. With huge hyperbole in their hypocritical ‘bayaans’ they create red herrings which the stupid women swallow hook, line and sinker. Wallah! We believe that there is no worse rapist of female morals than a facebook molvi. Your Haya and Imaan are invaluable treasures. Do not sully these treasures. Do not blemish this Amaanat with the concupiscent filth of these facebook molvis. They are absolute Rubbish. In the words of Rasulullah ( Sallallahu alayhi wasallam):
“The Saalihoon (the genuine pious Ulama) are departing (from this dunya) one after the other in quick succession. Then will remain only ghutha (RUBBISH) like the chaff of dates or barley. Allah will have no care whatsoever for them.” We are in that age. There are no longer Saalihoon living. They all are under the earth in their graves. There now remain only RUBBISH. Don’t trust anyone! Don’t trust molvis! Don’t trust shaikhs! And, don’t trust us. Just take what we say in our writings. You will not find it anywhere in today’s world. May Allah be with you all. Was-salaam.


Q. I read in Shariat & Tasawwuf, that even one word spoken unnecessarily brings darkness to the heart. How do we achieve the goal of Qillat-eKalaam (Speaking less)?

A. Much speech is a destructive spiritual malady, hence the Qur’aan Majeed states:
“Not a word is uttered, but it is recorded by an ever ready guard.”
Every word that issues from the mouth is recorded by an Angel. No matter how insignificant the statement may appear to a person, it is recorded in a Clear Book, for which the utterer will be accountable on the Day of Qiyaamah. People have absolutely no idea of the spiritual harm they inflict on their Baatin (Rooh/spiritual heart) with the abundance of futile and haraam talk which they so unthinkingly disgorge. The manner of controlling this evil habit of futile talk is firstly to reduce contact with people. Meet them only when there is a need, and after the need has been accomplished, immediately terminate the meeting. Then of utmost importance its to briefly – for a couple of seconds – reflect before speaking. When about to speak, remind yourself that the Angel is in front of you ready to record your words as the Qur’aan states. Reflect on the statement you are about to utter – Is it permissible or not? Will it please Allah Ta’ala or displease Him? Will it hurt the feelings of the person? Is there any valid benefit in the statement or not? In the beginning such reflection will be onerous, but if you are constant in this exercise of brief reflection, then, InshaAllah, it will become a reflex action. Without any strain and effort, you will gain the propensity of immediately recognizing the category of the statements you intend to utter. Everything for success requires some effort. Minus effort there will be no achievement.

from the majlis vol 23 number 12

How To Acquire Taqwa & Good Character

by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I want to become Allah’s favourite, and I want to have the best character possible. Please advise me what to do.

A: Allah Ta’ala explains to us that the most honourable person in His sight (His favourite) is the one who exercises the greatest taqwa. Taqwa can be easily understood to mean “be careful in whatever you do”. That is, be careful that you do not do anything that displeases Allah Ta’ala. Just as a driver is careful on the road while driving, likewise be careful in everything that you do while living in this world. This will be possible when you learn about the things that earn the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala and the things that cause Him to become displeased. An easy way to gain this is to commence the following daily program:

(1) Taleem of Fazaa'il-e-Amaal, Fazaa’il-e-Sadaqaat, Bahishti Zewar and Seeratul Mustafa.

(2) Recitation of a portion of the Qur’aan Shareef and some zikr.

(3) Du`aa at the end of each session.

You may also ponder and reflect over death for approximately 2 minutes daily.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنٰكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثٰى وَجَعَلْنٰكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللّٰهِ أَتْقَكُمْ إِنَّ اللّٰـهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ (الحجرات:13)

عن أبي هريرة قال: سئل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عن أكثر ما يدخل الناس الجنة فقال: تقوى الله وحسن الخلق وسئل عن أكثر ما يدخل الناس النار فقال: الفم والفرج (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 2004)

عن عطية السعدي وكان من أصحاب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: لا يبلغ العبد أن يكون من المتقين حتى يدع ما لا بأس به حذرا لما به البأس (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 2451)

عن أبي هريرة قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: أكثروا ذكر هاذم اللذات يعني الموت (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 2307)

وقد قيل: إن عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه سأل أبي بن كعب عن التقوى فقال له: أما سلكت طريقا ذا شوك؟ قال: بلى قال: فما عملت؟ قال: شمرت واجتهدت قال: فذلك التقوى. (تفسير ابن كثير 1/40)

وأخرج ابن أبي الدنيا في كتاب التقوى عن أبي هريرة أن رجلا قال له: ما التقوى قال: هل أخذت طريقا ذا شوك قال: نعم قال: فكيف صنعت قال: إذا رأيت الشوك عدلت عنه أو جاوزته أو قصرت عنه قال: ذاك التقوى وأخرج ابن أبي شيبة وابن أبي الدنيا وابن أبي حاتم عن طلق بن حبيب أنه قيل له: ألا تجمع لنا التقوى في كلام يسير يرونه قال: التقوى العمل بطاعة الله على نور من الله رجاء رحمة الله والتقوى ترك معاصي الله على نور من الله مخافة عذاب الله (الدر المنثور 1/61)

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

In Pursuit of the Real Sukoon

Long time ago, while travelling from one destination to another, a man’s sight fell on the ground where he saw a stone that was shining brilliantly. He picked it up and immediately fell in love with it.

Actually it was a large diamond! However, the man had no idea whatsoever about the value or even the existence of a diamond. He simply fell in love with it because of its glitter. While walking on his way, he went on hurling the diamond in the air and catching it back.

A while later he was seen by another person. When this person spotted him playing with an object he immediately recognised the highly valuable diamond. From the way he was playing with it, this person also perceived that the man was unaware of its worth. He started making plans on how to acquire that diamond from that man.

He approached him and asked him where he was going. The man said that he was on his way to such and such a place.

“Oh! I am also going to that place. Can I join you?” This person asked the first man.

“Sure! Why not?” the man replied.

So both the men pursued their journey.

When evening fell they came across a lodging house and they decided to spend the night in there. When the man who possessed the diamond was deep in sleep the second person stood up from his bed and started looking for that diamond. He checked his bag but he did not find it there. He then went close to the snoring man and gently checked the pockets of his pyjamas but it was not there too! He also very carefully checked under his pillow but it was not there either. This person really wondered where the diamond had disappeared.

The next morning as they continued their journey, to the utter surprise of the second man the first one took out the diamond from his pocket and started hurling it in the air.

As evening fell they again took lodging in a guest house and at night time when the first man was in a deep slumber the second man took the opportunity to check all his belongings. To his absolute flabbergast he once again failed to locate the valuable stone!

On the third night too, which was supposed to be the last night of their journey, the same occurrence took place. This man failed to find the diamond. As they came close to the destination they were heading for, he revealed to the man with the diamond his true reason for accompanying him till that place.

“To tell you the truth my purpose to accompany you till here was to get hold of the diamond but I have miserably failed in my mission. Now I am really curious about where you were hiding the diamond during all the three nights. Please solve this mystery for me.”

The man with the diamond smiled. He said, “You were looking for the shining stone everywhere else while it was lying right in your possession all the three nights!”

“What do you mean?” the man asked him with profound shock.

“You never checked the pockets of your own coat that each night you used to hang it on the wall.” the man replied. “I used to hide it in one of the pockets of your coat in your absence. All the three nights you looked everywhere else but you never bothered to check your own pockets.”

This story has a strong reminder for all Muslims who are looking for Sukoon in life.

What is Sukoon?

Sukoon is the peace of mind, serenity, tranquility, contentment!

It is not a material object. It cannot be weighed. It can only be felt. It is the most priceless feeling.

People tend to check world’s every nook and corner, every society and every culture (including the western one), every entertainment source and every social media, to seek for it but they are not successful.

Some people look for it in the most lavishly designed gorgeous and exquisite buildings where they reside or in the most luxurious and state-of-the-art motor vehicles which they drive or in the most expensive designer brands of fashionable clothes they put on but they do not taste even a morsel of it.

Then from where can we find the genuine Sukoon?

For us, Muslims, we need not look around for it. The real Sukoon is hidden within us only. It is concealed in the most Precious and the most Treasured Gift that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala has presented to us.

This Gift is the Deen of Islam.

The word “Islam” means “Submission to the Will of Allah.”

To be a true Muslim you must have:

Imaan (faith). Imaan is to have absolute Yaqeen (conviction) on the Kalimah Tayyibah:

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله ﷺ ،

To have full conviction that Allah is the only One to be worshiped, the only One to be relied upon.

To obey the Commands of Allah based on His Kalaam, the Qur’an Majeed and the Ahadeeth.

To adopt the Mubarak Sunnah of Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam in our lifestyle.

It is only when we become Muslims with all sincerity that we can get the opportunity to taste the Sweetness of Sukoon that we are always yearning for.

May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala always guide us to relish Sukoon in its Purest form by becoming True Muslims…Ameen.

By M.B.Ahmed

Break Your Soul as You Break Your Fast

“Allāh is Subtle with His Slaves…” [1]

One of the deeper intents and aims of fasting is for us to learn the art of self-restraint. When Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) revealed the verse of fasting [2], He concluded that it has been prescribed so that we may gain piety. Now, piety comes in many different forms, but a lot of these forms share a common characteristic and that is they all entail the practice of self-restraint.

In a powerful statement made by Dhūl-Nūn al-Miṣrī, he said: “Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul; rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” In our current time and era, the message we often hear and learn to adopt in our lives is a message in complete contrast to this.

We are often encouraged to be bold and confident, to always seek and go after what our Nafs(self) desires (Hedonism) and sadly, numerous are the justifications we grant ourselves when doing this. Often this leads to frightening levels of deeply-rooted arrogance, lack of humility and a complete inability to go against ourselves. This easily grants authority and power to our Nafs and naturally, it weakens our resolve, will and inner strength. When this happens, it is our Nafs that then takes the lead and governs us at every point of life. Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) has said,

“Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allāh has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allāh? Then will you not be reminded?” [3]

We may read this verse and immediately think of others, but turning the tables a little, how often have we allowed our unrestrained Nafs to make decisions for us which we then followed? How often have we submitted to it and allowed it to take the position of a god over us? Indeed, something to think about.

Ramaḍān is all about reversing this dangerous momentum. It is a time when we voluntary restrain ourselves from basic needs such as food and drink, and we restrain ourselves from our desires and anything which may lead to sin or even idle deeds of no benefit. When you starve the soul of its fuel, it begins to weaken. It then descends from the high authoritative ground it once basked in and it begins to return once again as a slave, under your authority. This will then allow you to steer it towards piety, and so at every stage of your life when you come across testing moments where you battle with your soul, this power you now have over it will allow you to always make the right decisions; decisions that are purely for Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) and the goodness of our soul and not based merely on desire and the call of the Nafs.

As we train in this month, it’s highly crucial that we learn the art of self-restraint. It is not just food, drink and intimate relations that we abstain from; rather these are just primers to help us go forth because ahead of us are numerous other things which we are to abstain from in order to reach our goal: the breaking and humbling of the Nafs and the subsequent gain of piety. It’s a training ground for us to restrain ourselves from anger, arguments, and fighting. From selfishness, greed and bad desire. From lying, dishonesty, gossiping and sins of the tongue. From impatience, rudeness, harshness and bad opinion of others. In a nutshell, it’s a time to restrain ourselves from all that is bad news for our Hereafter, and the intelligent person will realise that this is not just for Ramaḍān, but it is what Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) generally wants from his believing slaves.

Finally, just as we practise self-restraint, it’s equally important that we give our soul something else to fill the void with. As the famous Arabic saying goes, “Your soul, if you do not busy it with the Khayr (good), it shall busy you with evil.” So just as you remove, make sure you are also adding and bringing a better replacement into your life by way of virtuous actions.

Let’s strive in whatever concerns the affairs of our souls so that we can develop these souls of ours and return them to our Creator in a state which pleases Him…

“O reassured soul Return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing [to Him]. And enter among My [righteous] servants. And enter My Paradise.” [4]


  • Ask Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) for piety. Ask Him to help you over your Nafs and make you a better slave to Him.
  • Watch out for those testing moments in life where you have to make a choice, then always choose the way of piety and choose that which is better and will bring you relief and joy on the Day when souls are gathered.
  • Utilise your fasting days and seize every opportunity weaken the soul from evil and instead strengthen it upon the good.
  • Replace the evil with good. As we break away from idle chatter, gossip and backbiting, let’s instead engage the tongue in Qur’ānic recitation, Dhikr (remembrance) and good words. Likewise, as we remove bad habits from our life, let’s replace them with habits of virtue so that we are not simply starving our souls but rather we starve them from the unhealthy and feed them with the nutritious.

Sources: www.islam21c.com

This article has been cross-posted from SOLACE UK.


[1] Al-Qur’ān 42:19[2] Al-Qur’ān 2:183[3] Al-Qur’ān 45:23[4] Al-Qur’ān 89:27-30


When business is bad, and believe me it’s tough out there, then here is an excellent business opportunity for you. It’s called Peeri-Muridee, and here is an 8-step easy guide to fabulous riches:

You need to be a male in your 40’s, with a huge beard, preferably white or flaming red, with a huge exotic-coloured turban on your head;
You cannot trade in your own country because you will be easily identified. For maximum profits, you must be prepared to travel worldwide, never staying for more than a week at any destination;
You need the gift of the gab. Take a course in psychology or voice modulation as this will be your best asset. You also need some credibility, so you will maybe have a fake certificate from a Madasah, and a pair of fake sandals of your own Shaikh that you never seen in your dreams too;
You have to become a “Sayyid,” or forge a birth certificate saying that you are a Naqshbandi, or a Qadri, and that your grandfather was the water-carrier of A’la Hazrat;
You need to “look” pious and be prepared to wake up for tahajjud daily. However, you may sleep the entire day and even skip the Zuhr and ‘Asr prayers. You also need to have a huge sandal-wood tasbeeh in your hand and visit the dentist for a teeth-whitening treatment. Paan or cigarette stains are a put-off;
In order to attract customers, you either need a ghost-busting Jinn to help you, a beautiful voice to enchant others, a bit of scribbling experience to write fake taweezes (amulets), and some rare phrases from the works of Rumi or Sa’di to sweep the rich and gullible off their feet with phrases you don’t even know the meaning of;
You need to know exactly the weaknesses of the Muslims in terms of their belief and practice according to the area they live in. Wealthy areas are the best places to target where people are normally most gullible and ignorant. If you don’t know this, you will not know how to bait your hook, either with a mielie bomb or a worm, to trap your victim;
Lastly, you must be a real charmer and be able to convince any woman, even if her husband disagrees with her. The way to a man’s wallet is via his wife’s confusion!

Now, before anyone says that I’m against the pure science of tazkiyah and tasawwuf (the science of purifying the heart), let me state that an obvious fact: just like how you have genuine doctors and quack doctors, you also have genuine Murshids (spiritual guides), and fake one’s. These are called “Shark Sahibs.” They are becoming very popular nowadays because people don’t know what the role of a Murshid or a Peer is anymore. Our ignorance of their function in the spiritual realm has made them target our wallets, and not our hearts anymore.

The purpose of a genuine Murshid is to identify our spiritual weaknesses and guide us on the path of purity, ultimately reaching our Creator with a sound heart. A spiritual disciple (mureed) is asked to complete certainzikrs (incantations) daily, and confide his personal, business and social problems to his Murshid so he may be guided to do the correct thing. He is introduced to the Greatness and Uniqueness of his Creator, and is asked to emulate the example of the Noble Master, Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) in all facets of life. Questions pertaining to life, birth, death, the unseen, and the secrets of the Almighty’s workings – issues which cannot be attained from any university, – is normally to be attained whilst being humbly seated at the feet of a Murshid.

But, the above function sounds pretty boring. Who wants to attend school after spending 13 years at school? Adults are trailblazers, they don’t need to be told what to do, they do whatever they want to do. So, a Murshid, for us, doesn’t translate into entering into a binding contract to lead our lives with pious discipline, but a shortcut to Paradise. Worst still, we think it’s a back-door entry into Paradise! We can do any wrong or commit any amount of sins, our Murshid will be there to save us! This concept of “salvation guarantee” is very wrong.

For most of us, a Murshid is there to be revered, and to be massaged to attain his blessings. He is supposed to perform some karaamats (miracles) and have kashf (inner illumination), know something of the unseen, and be able to extract “hidden” meanings from the Qur’an. The most dangerous, self-defeating belief that we have is that we, the ordinary masses, are gross sinners and are unable to reach our Creator on our own, or get our prayers answered. For these things, we are in need of an intermediary, a pious man called a Sheikh or Peer Sahib, who will get us close to our Creator if given unconditional obedience. Our Peer Sahib is our passport to paradise, we just need to give him the best type of jalebi (sweetmeats) daily.

This ignorance and our own lack of faith, or wrong concept of it, has led many Peer Sahibs to make such ridiculous claims such as:

When you take the bai’at (oath of allegiance) at his hands, he becomes your representative to your Creator, your official lawyer. So, at the time of death, he will be there to recite the shahaadah(testimony of faith) on your behalf, he will be there to answer the three questions in the grave posed by the fearsome angels, and he will take your hands and lead you straight into paradise;
He claims to be present, in body and shape, in several places at a time. He also claims to perform several miracles, including producing two moons in one night, being able to converse with the dead, and being excused from praying in the nearest Masjid, as his soul migrates to Makkah five times a day;
He exaggerates in the virtue of certain verses. For example, he says: ““Whoever recites this ayah even a single time, will attain the rank of a certain saint.” He also makes Islam very simple by saying: “You are leading a very hectic life and you are very weak. Just choose one Sunnat a day, and it will be suffice for you.”
If you cannot complete your devotions for the day (some Peer Sahibs require daily SMS notifications at a certain time), then you can confess it to him without fear. He can forgive you for it, or even adjust your religion to suit your life!

This type of blind following has placed the Peer Sahib above the Qur’an and Sunnah, making him near-divine and creating a rival with the Creator Himself. We no more open the Qur’an and study, or do some religious studies, Peer Sahib is our crutch. He knows everything! We need to realize that our Creator is nearer to us than our own “jugular veins,” and even the biggest of sinners need only left their hand in sincere repentance to be heard by the Creator Himself. Peer Sahib doesn’t know himself whether he is going to heaven or hell, how will he take you to paradise? As for performing miracles like flying in the air and walking on water, these are done effortlessly by birds and fish. Flying or swimming are not signs of piety, anybody can do so if they practice, rather piety and strict adherence to Islam are.

As Peer Sahib becomes accustomed to easy money in his religious fraud, his “consultation fees” also becomes more. As he gains the trust of people, he even becomes more important to them than their own spouse or parents. He commands wives to travel with him to foreign places without the permission and the accompaniment of their husbands, they ask brothers to break ties with each other, and threaten “bad luck” and “divine punishment” if any of his orders are disobeyed! He studies your responses before the time, and answers all your misgivings even before you can ask him!

And when a rival Peer Sahib arrives in town, then it’s an all-out turf war! In fact, many fake Peer Sahibs have made much wealth for themselves by proving the falsity of other fake Peer Sahibs, and diverting all the money from them to him. Such trickery only comes from much experience, and recognizing such trickery by the people also only comes from experience.

And who said Peer Sahibs cannot be professional? Some even have rate lists. If you want them to pray for a son, its R2000-00, for blessings in business, its R5000-00, and to keep your wife young forever, R8000-00! Of course, a small damm (blowing) would at least expect a small gift like a box of Ferreros in return! These scam artists paint the “Men of the Cloth” in bad colours, yet, people fall for them all the time, hook, line and sinker!

Finally, we need to realize that no one can have a relationship or be an intermediary with our Creator, besides oneself. We cannot “outsource” salvation. This is a deeply personal and sacred matter. The fact that people are so involved in it shows how superstitious they are. Such people are trapped in a spider web. The punishment for those who don’t have correct faith is that they will catch a man who stole his R1-00 in his shop, but he will not be able to see the man who is stealing his millions, and destroying his paradise with his own money. And he still thinks he is the most wise man!

Maulana Khalid Dhorat

Cleaning Your Inner-self

Just think, if for any reason a person does not take a shower for a few weeks, what would be the state of his body?

Obviously his body would start emitting a very awful stink!

Remember, he cannot get rid of that stink even if he decides to put on new, branded, expensive clothes or by lavishly spraying his body with a designer perfume.

The only way he can overcome that stink is by thoroughly washing his body and getting rid of all that filth that has gathered on his body.

However, this is all about cleaning our outer self.

What about cleaning our ‘inner-self’ [the real state of our nature, mind, nafs (soul) and heart]?

Please bear in mind that in order to achieve the genuine piety and proximity to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala it is of vital importance to clean our inner-self. If our inner-self is not free from filth then we can never achieve the required level of piety even if we put on the ‘outer garments and perfumes of piety’ because Allah is fully aware of the state of our inner self!

 Maintaining Family Ties

One kind of inner-filth that is commonly witnessed today is possessing ill-feelings for our relatives. This ill-feeling in most cases leads to breaking family ties.

In Islam the bonds of kinship and the rights of other Muslim brothers and sisters play a pivotal role in our lives. All Muslims are to show kindness, generosity, and respect towards both their nearest and the most distant relatives.

Shariah has emphasized on maintaining family ties (Sila Rahmi), and has strictly warned against breaking them (Qata Rahmi).

Our Creator has stressed the importance of maintaining good relationship with the next of our kin as per the hadith given below:

Narrated Abu Huraira (RadhiAllah ‘anhu): Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wasallam) said,“The word ‘Ar-Rahm’ (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: ‘I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e. Kith and Kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e. Kith and Kin).’” [Sahih Bukhari Hadith No. 5988].

Nabi Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa Sallam has also said“He who desires ample provisions and his life be prolonged, should maintain good ties with his blood relations”.[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Yet in another hadith narrated by Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu), Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa Sallam said, “There is no sin more likely to bring the punishment of Allah in this world as well as what [punishment] Allah has in store in the Hereafter than transgression [oppression/rebelling] and severing family ties.”[Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 2511, Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith: 4866 and Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith: 4211]

Quite often you tend to drift apart from some of your close relatives for any wrong they might have done to you. You stop communicating with them and at times you are not even ready to visit them if they fall ill or are hospitalized.

We hear of siblings not on talking terms with one another for years, a son breaking ties with his parents, youngsters not on speaking terms with their uncles/aunts, cousins at loggerheads with each other, one-time best friends not ready to even look at each other – the list is endless.

Islam does not teach us that. You not only have to forgive them for the wrong that they might have done to you but to reciprocate it by being good to them. This is the most difficult thing to do, but then it is the real test of your Imaan!

Nabi Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wasallam has said in one hadith:“Al-Wasil [the one who keeps good relations with his kith and kin] is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him” [Bukhari]

We have a perfect example in the Golden Pages of Islamic History!

Among many people who benefited from the generosity of Abu Bakr Siddiq (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu) was his cousin Mistah (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu). The latter, unfortunately was one of those who were involved in spreading the false rumours related to the Mother of Believers, Ayesha (RadhiAllahu ‘anha).  When the verses of Surah An-Noor in which Allah declared the innocence of Ayesha (RadhiAllah ‘anha) were revealed, Abu Bakr Siddiq (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu) took an oath that he would no longer support his cousin Mistah (RadiAllahu ‘anhu).

Regarding this issue Allah Almighty then revealed the celebrated verse: The high ranking and wealthy ones among you should not take an oath not to spend on their relatives, the poor and those who migrate in Allah’s path. They should forgive and pardon. Do you not like Allah to forgive you? Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Qur’an 24:22]

No sooner did Abu Bakr (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu) come to know about this verse, he not only resumed his cousin’s financial assistance, but increased it over what he used to regularly give him!

Given below are some of the ways in which you can practically implement this great virtue in your life:

  1. Make restoring the broken family ties as one of your important responsibilities in life!
  2. If you realise you have messed up then instantly admit your wrongdoing and extend your apologies, even if you have to humiliate yourself while doing so! At times, overcome by arrogance and pride, we do not want to apologise. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu) reported: Rasul Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wasallam said,“No human being will enter Jannah if there is as much as the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart,” [Musnad Aḥmad 6526].
  3. Reach out!Be the first one to extend an ‘Olive Branch’ (say or do something in order to show that that you want to end a disagreement or a quarrel) regardless of who really is at fault.
  4. Before you extend that ‘Olive Branch’ make sure it is a fresh one(and not a rotten one!) which means whatever you do, you do it with full sincerity and with the sole intention of acquiring the pleasure of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. 
  5. Let bygones be bygones!Your intention should be to resume the old ties with even more cordiality than before.
  6. Try constantly to keep in touch with them by visiting them or by regularly communicating with them. Also, send them an occasional gift.
  7. Invite them at your home once in a while for lunch/dinner/a cup of tea or for Iftar during the month of Ramadhan.
  8. If you are not fully acquainted with some of your far relatives sit down with the elders of your family and ask them about these relatives. Draw a Family Tree and keep a copy for yourself and also distribute to the rest of the family members.
  9. Spend your Sadaqah (Charity)/Zakat on your poor relatives. We have clear instruction from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala that our Sadaqah/Zakat should be for our relatives as well as the poor and needy ones in other parts of the world.
  10. Even if you are not at odds with any of your kin but you know about certain people who do not see eye to eye then you should try to intervene as a mediator.In that case you are even allowed to speak something that is not true.According to a hadith narrated by Umm Kulthoom (RadhiAllahu ‘anha) Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu ‘alayhi Wasallam said“He is not a liar who reconciles (quarreling) people by relaying or saying good (but untrue) things.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim] 

Remember, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has promised to keep good relations with those who keep good relations with their family members.

May Allah Subhahanu wa Ta’ala  make us of those who maintain their Ties of Kinship…Ameen.