Disobedience to parents

Q: I often have attacks of anger and because I cannot control my temper, I sometimes swear at my parents and physically abuse them. After I calm down, I say sorry to them and ask them for forgiveness. I feel very guilty because my parents are old and due to my physical abuse, they suffer body pains. I am very scared that something dangerous might happen to me on account of my ill-treatment towards my parents. My question is, “Will I burn in hell for treating my parents in this manner?” How can I repent for this sin?

bismillah.jpg

A: The Hadith explains that your parents are your paradise or your hell. If you are kind, compassionate and loving towards them, and in permissible matters, you obey and serve them as you ought to, you will be blessed with paradise. On the contrary, if you disobey them, and you are harsh, rude and mean towards them, then your evil treatment towards them will be the means of you entering the fire of hell. Refrain from such evil and sinful deeds and sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for your past. Similarly, beg their forgiveness and show them compassion and love. If you are sincere, Allah Ta’ala will forgive you. Otherwise, the consequences for ill-treating one’s parents and oppressing them are extremely disastrous and detrimental in this world and the next.

Below we will present verses of the Qur’an Majeed and a few Mubaarak Ahaadith of Rasulullah (sallalahu alaihi wasallam) which relate to the rights of parents:

The Command of Showing Kindness to Parents:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿الإسراء: ٢٣﴾

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor scold them, instead address them in a respectful manner.

وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّـهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ﴿البقرة: ٨٣﴾

And remember when We took a covenant from the Bani Israa’eel that you worship none but Allah; and treat your parents with kindness.

Serving One’s Aged Parents is Equal to Nafl Jihaad:

حدثنا حبيب بن أبي ثابت قال سمعت أبا العباس الشاعر وكان لا يتهم في حديثه قال سمعت عبد الله بن عمرو رضي الله عنهما يقول جاء رجل إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستأذنه في الجهاد فقال أحي والداك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 3004)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu anhuma) narrates that on one occasion, a Sahaabi came to Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) seeking permission to participate in jihaad. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) inquired,  “Are your parents alive?”  The Sahaabi replied, “Yes”. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) responded, “Your Jihaad is in serving them (as they are old and in need of your service).”

عن معاوية بن جاهمة أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئتك أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم  قال فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجلها (شرح مشكل الآثار، الرقم: 2132)

Hazrat Muaawiyah ibn Jaahimah reports that Hazrat Jaahimah (radhiyallahu anhu) came to Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and asked, “O Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), I intend going for jihaad, however I have come to consult you first.” Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) inquired, “Do you have a mother (who is in need of your service)?” Hazrat Jaahimah (radhiyallahu anhu) replied, “yes” Thereafter, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Hold firmly to her and serve her, for verily Jannah lies at her feet.”

Acquiring the Reward of Hajj, Umrah and Jihaad

عن أنس رضي الله عنه قال أتى رجل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال إني أشتهي الجهاد ولا أقدر عليه قال هل بقي من والديك أحد قال أمي قال قابل الله في برها فإذا فعلت ذلك فأنت حاج ومعتمر ومجاهد (الترغيب والترهيب، الرقم: 3747)

Hazrat Anas (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that a man came to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and said, “I wish to participate in jihaad, but I cannot afford it.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) enquired if any of his parents were alive, to which he said, “Yes, My mother is alive.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Show Allah Ta‘ala how you serve her. If you do so, you will be like a haaji, a mu’tamir (one doing Umrah) and a mujaahid (one striving in the path of Allah Ta‘ala).”

The Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala Lies in The Pleasure of The Parents:

عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رضى الرب في رضى الوالد وسخط الرب في سخط الوالد (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 1899)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu anhuma) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “The pleasure of Allah Ta’ala lies in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of Allah Ta’ala lies in the displeasure of the parents.”

Your Parents are either Your Paradise or Your Hell:

عن أبي أمامة أن رجلا قال يا رسول الله ما حق الوالدين على ولدهما قال هما جنتك ونارك (سنن ابن ماجه، الرقم: 3662)

Hazrat Abu Umaamah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) relates that a certain Sahaabi asked, “O Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), what rights do parents have over their children?”  Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “They are either your (means of entering) Jannat or your (means of entering) Jahannum.”

عن ابن عباس قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من أصبح مطيعا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من الجنة وإن كان واحدا فواحدا ومن أمسى عاصيا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من النار وإن كان واحدا فواحدا قال رجل وإن ظلماه قال وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه (شعب الإيمان، الرقم: 7538)

Hazrat Ibnu Abbaas (Radhiyallahu Anhuma) relates that Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever spends his day obeying Allah Ta’ala with regards to his parents, every morning two doors of Jannat will be open for him. If he only has one parent alive then only one door will be opened for him. Whoever spends his day disobeying Allah Ta’ala with regards to his parents then two doors of Jahannum will be open for him. If he only has one parent alive then only one door will be opened for him.”  The Sahaabi asked, “Even if they oppress you (i.e. should you still be kind to them)?”  Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Even if they oppress you! Even if they oppress you! Even if they oppress you!”

Pleasing One’s Parents and Looking at them with Mercy is equal in Reward to an Accepted Nafl Hajj:

عن ابن عباس أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ما من ولد بار ينظر نظرة رحمة إلا كتب الله بكل نظرة حجة مبرورة قالوا وإن نظر كل يوم مائة مرة قال نعم الله أكبر وأطيب (شعب الإيمان، الرقم: 7472 هذا الحديث وإن كان ضعيفا ولكن يقبل في فضائل الأعمال لأجل الشواهد)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbaas (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “There is no obedient child who looks at his parents with mercy (and love) except that Allah Ta‘ala records for him the reward of an accepted Hajj for every time he looks (at his parents with mercy)” The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) asked, “Even if he looks one hundred times every day?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes, Allah Ta‘ala is the greatest and He is much more bountiful (His reward is much more than you can imagine).”

The Evil Consequence for Ill-treating Parents:

وعن أبي بكرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلمكل الذنوب يغفر الله منها ما شاء إلا عقوق الوالدين فإنه يعجل لصاحبه في الحياة قبل الممات (شعب الإيمان، الرقم:7506)

Hazrat Abu Bakrah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Allah Ta’ala will forgive whichever sin He so wishes besides the sin of showing disobedience to one’s parents (i.e.  Allah Ta’ala does not generally forgive this sin without one seeking forgiveness from one’s parents). Indeed Allah Ta’ala will (apart from the punishment in store in the hereafter for committing such a heinous crime), punish the person in this very world before he passes away.”

مالك بن الحسن بن مالك بن الحويرث عن أبيه عن جده قال صعد رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم المنبر فلما رقي عتبة قال آمين ثم رقي عتبة أخرى فقال آمين ثم رقي عتبة ​ثالثة فقال آمين ثم قال أتاني جبريل فقال يا محمد من أدرك رمضان فلم يغفر له فأبعده الله قلت آمين قال ومن أدرك والديه أو أحدهما فدخل النار فأبعده الله قلت آمين فقال ومن ذكرت عنده فلم يصل عليك فأبعده الله قل آمين فقلت آمين (صحيح ابن حبان، الرقم: 409)

Hazrat Maalik bin Huwairith narrates from his grandfather that on one occasion, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) ascended the first step of the mimbar, and thereafter he said Aameen. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then ascended the second step of the mimbar, and thereafter he said Aameen again. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then ascended the third step of the mimbar and said Aameen for the third time. Thereafter, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “(When I ascended the first step of the mimbar,) Jibreel (Alaihis Salaam) appeared before me and said, “Woe to him who found the blessed month of Ramadhaan and let it pass without gaining forgiveness”. Upon that, I said, “Aameen.” Then Jibreel (alaihis salaam) said, “Woe to the person in whose presence both parents or one of them attain old age, and through failing to serve them, he is not allowed to enter Jannah.” Upon that, I said, “Aameen.” Then Jibreel (alaihis salaam) said, “Woe to him before whom your name is mentioned and he does not recite durood upon you”. Upon that, I said, “Aameen.””

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

Disobedience to parents

Q: I often have attacks of anger and because I cannot control my temper, I sometimes swear at my parents and physically abuse them. After I calm down, I say sorry to them and ask them for forgiveness. I feel very guilty because my parents are old and due to my physical abuse, they suffer body pains. I am very scared that something dangerous might happen to me on account of my ill-treatment towards my parents. My question is, “Will I burn in hell for treating my parents in this manner?” How can I repent for this sin?

 

bismillah.jpg

A: The Hadith explains that your parents are your paradise or your hell. If you you are kind, compassionate and loving towards them, and you obey and serve them as you ought to, you will be blessed with paradise. On the contrary, if you disobey them, and you are harsh, rude and mean towards them, then your evil treatment towards them will be the means of you entering the fire of hell. Refrain from such evil and sinful deeds and sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for your past. Similarly, beg their forgiveness and show them compassion and love. If you are sincere, Allah Ta’ala will forgive you. Otherwise, the consequences for ill-treating one’s parents and oppressing them are extremely disastrous and detrimental in this world and the next.

Below we will present verses of the Qur’an Majeed and a few Mubaarak Ahaadith of Rasulullah (sallalahu alaihi wasallam) which relate to the rights of parents:

The Command of Showing Kindness to Parents:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿الإسراء: ٢٣﴾

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor scold them, instead address them in a respectful manner.

وَإِذْ أَخَذْنَا مِيثَاقَ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ لَا تَعْبُدُونَ إِلَّا اللَّـهَ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ﴿البقرة: ٨٣﴾

And remember when We took a covenant from the Bani Israa’eel that you worship none but Allah; and treat your parents with kindness.

Serving One’s Aged Parents is Equal to Nafl Jihaad:

حدثنا حبيب بن أبي ثابت قال سمعت أبا العباس الشاعر وكان لا يتهم في حديثه قال سمعت عبد الله بن عمرو رضي الله عنهما يقول جاء رجل إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستأذنه في الجهاد فقال أحي والداك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد (صحيح البخاري، الرقم: 3004)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu anhuma) narrates that on one occasion, a Sahaabi came to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) seeking permission to participate in jihaad. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) inquired,  “Are your parents alive?”  The Sahaabi replied, “Yes”. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) responded, “Your Jihaad is in serving them (as they are old and in need of your service).”

عن معاوية بن جاهمة أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئتك أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم  قال فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجلها (شرح مشكل الآثار، الرقم: 2132)

Hazrat Muaawiyah ibn Jaahimah reports that Hazrat Jaahimah (radhiyallahu anhu) came to Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and asked, “O Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), I intend going for jihaad, however I have come to consult you first.” Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) inquired, “Do you have a mother (who is in need of your service)?” Hazrat Jaahimah (radhiyallahu anhu) replied, “yes” Thereafter, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Hold firmly to her and serve her, for verily Jannah lies at her feet.”

The Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala Lies in The Pleasure of The Parents:

عن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رضى الرب في رضى الوالد وسخط الرب في سخط الوالد (سنن الترمذي، الرقم: 1899)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radhiyallahu anhuma) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “The pleasure of Allah Ta’ala lies in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of Allah Ta’ala lies in the displeasure of the parents.”

Your Parents are either Your Paradise or Your Hell:

عن أبي أمامة أن رجلا قال يا رسول الله ما حق الوالدين على ولدهما قال هما جنتك ونارك (سنن ابن ماجه، الرقم: 3662)

Hazrat Abu Umaamah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) relates that a certain Sahaabi asked, “O Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), what rights do parents have over their children?”  Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “They are either your (means of entering) Jannat or your (means of entering) Jahannum.”

عن ابن عباس قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من أصبح مطيعا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من الجنة وإن كان واحدا فواحدا ومن أمسى عاصيا لله في والديه أصبح له بابان مفتوحان من النار وإن كان واحدا فواحدا قال رجل وإن ظلماه قال وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه وإن ظلماه (شعب الإيمان، الرقم: 7538)

Hazrat Ibnu Abbaas (Radhiyallahu Anhuma) relates that Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Whoever spends his day obeying Allah Ta’ala with regards to his parents, every morning two doors of Jannat will be open for him. If he only has one parent alive then only one door will be opened for him. Whoever spends his day disobeying Allah Ta’ala with regards to his parents then two doors of Jahannum will be open for him. If he only has one parent alive then only one door will be opened for him.”  The Sahaabi asked, “Even if they oppress you (i.e. should you still be kind to them)?”  Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Even if they oppress you! Even if they oppress you! Even if they oppress you!”

Pleasing One’s Parents and Looking at them with Mercy is equal in Reward to an Accepted Nafl Hajj:

عن ابن عباس أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال ما من ولد بار ينظر نظرة رحمة إلا كتب الله بكل نظرة حجة مبرورة قالوا وإن نظر كل يوم مائة مرة قال نعم الله أكبر وأطيب (شعب الإيمان، الرقم: 7472)

Hazrat Ibnu Abbaas (Radhiyallahu Anhuma) relates that Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Every pious child that looks at his parents with the gaze of mercy, Allah Ta’ala will grant him the reward of an accepted Hajj for every glance.” The Sahaabah (Radhiyaalhu Anhum) inquired, “(Will he receive the reward of a Hajj for every glance) even if he looks at his parents one hundred times a day?” Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Allah Ta’ala is the greatest and the most pure (i.e. Allah Ta’ala has the ability to bless a person with even more reward than this).”

The Evil Consequence for Ill-treating Parents:

وعن أبي بكرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلمكل الذنوب يغفر الله منها ما شاء إلا عقوق الوالدين فإنه يعجل لصاحبه في الحياة قبل الممات (شعب الإيمان، الرقم:7506)

Hazrat Abu Bakrah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “Allah Ta’ala will forgive whichever sin He so wishes besides the sin of showing disobedience to one’s parents (i.e.  Allah Ta’ala does not generally forgive this sin without one seeking forgiveness from one’s parents). Indeed Allah Ta’ala will (apart from the punishment in store in the hereafter for committing such a heinous crime), punish the person in this very world before he passes away.”

مالك بن الحسن بن مالك بن الحويرث عن أبيه عن جده قال صعد رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم المنبر فلما رقي عتبة قال آمين ثم رقي عتبة أخرى فقال آمين ثم رقي عتبة ​ثالثة فقال آمين ثم قال أتاني جبريل فقال يا محمد من أدرك رمضان فلم يغفر له فأبعده الله قلت آمين قال ومن أدرك والديه أو أحدهما فدخل النار فأبعده الله قلت آمين فقال ومن ذكرت عنده فلم يصل عليك فأبعده الله قل آمين فقلت آمين (صحيح ابن حبان، الرقم: 409)

Hazrat Maalik bin Huwairith narrates from his grandfather that on one occasion, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) ascended the first step of the mimbar, and thereafter he said Aameen. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then ascended the second step of the mimbar, and thereafter he said Aameen again. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then ascended the third step of the mimbar and said Aameen for the third time. Thereafter, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “(When I ascended the first step of the mimbar,) Jibreel (Alaihis Salaam) appeared before me and said, “Woe to him who found the blessed month of Ramadhaan and let it pass without gaining forgiveness”. Upon that, I said, “Aameen.” Then Jibreel (alaihis salaam) said, “Woe to the person in whose presence both parents or one of them attain old age, and through failing to serve them, he is not allowed to enter Jannah.” Upon that, I said, “Aameen.” Then Jibreel (alaihis salaam) said, “Woe to him before whom your name is mentioned and he does not recite durood upon you”. Upon that, I said, “Aameen.””

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

Respect – Adab – Etiquette

An Orphan is not one who has no parents; Verily he is an orphan who is deprived of knowledge and adab (respect/etiquette).

This is an Arabic saying which very concisely describes the importance of respect in a person. Indeed, when one is deprived of respect and etiquette, one can stoop to a level that any normal human being would consider unthinkable, let alone any person with Imaan.

The Qur’an-al-Kareem and Ahadith strongly emphasise the lesson of respect. Respect for the distinguishing signs of Allah Ta’ala – aspects that are clear symbols of Deen such as the Qur’an, the Musjid, the month of Ramadhaan, etc. – is in itself a testimony of one’s Imaan. Allah Ta ‘ala declares: “And those who honour the distinguishing signs of Allah, verily it (this respect) stems from the piety of the heart” (S22:V32).

RESPECT FOR ALLAH

Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) also stressed the lesson of respect upon the Sahaaba (R.A.) at every occasion. A Hadith clearly proclaims: “He who does not respect the elders amongst us and is not merciful upon the young is not one of us.” Another Hadith states: “Verily it is from the dictates of the respect for Allah Ta’ala to respect a Muslim of advanced age, to respect a bearer of the Qur’an (one who has learnt the Qur’ an) who does not exceed its bounds nor does he disregard it and to respect a just ruler.” [Unfortunately many children become bearers of the Qur’an but disregard it by violating its injunctions.] Among the numerous instances of emphasising respect, some of them are: Giving preference to the one who knows more Qur’an, standing to welcome an elder, allowing the older person to speak first, etc.

EXCELLENCE

While respect is an integral part of Deen, experience has proven that in any field of life only those people excelled who were respectful to their teachers and seniors. Experience has also repeatedly proven that those who are devoid of respect, despite tremendous ability and potential, were largely unsuccessful. Take just one example of an outstanding personality whose excellence was marvelled at throughout the centuries. This personality, Imaam Abu Hanifa (R.A.), like all others who excelled, was endowed with an unimaginable sense of respect. He states: “I never stretched my legs (even in the privacy of my home) in the direction of my Ustaad (Imaam Hammaad) out of respect for him, though there were seven roads between my house and his (i.e. his house was seven blocks away)!!!

Just as respect is very important, the consequences of disrespect are dire. To disregard even a grain of food or a drop of water is very detrimental. It could result in one being deprived of many bounties of Allah Ta’ala. However, the greater the bounty, the more severe are the consequences of disrespect towards it.

GREATEST BOUNTY

One of the greatest bounties of Allah Ta’ala upon us is the Qur’an-al-Kareem. The Book of Allah Ta’ala deserves the greatest honour and respect. Among the dictates of the honour and respect of the Qur’an is that the Qur’an should be learnt, it should be recited regularly and it should also be handled correctly. The Qur’an should always be kept with respect and be carried with respect. Unfortunately as the level of respect keeps falling in other aspects, the respect for the Qur’an is also being compromised. For instance many children nowadays carry their Qur’ans to school in their backpacks slung behind their backs. Smaller children have it swinging to and fro from their necks. The Qur’an is often between other storybooks or school text books as if it was also just another book! The school bag is sometimes lying on the floor with the Qur’an therein!!! May Allah Ta’ala forgive us and save us from His wrath. This treatment of the Qur’an is a far cry from the manner that even little children handled the Qur’an in the not too distant past. The Qur’an was always covered respectfully and carried close to the chest. The Qur’an left lying in a bag on the floor was unthinkable. Apart from the mishandling of the Qur’an, publications containing the name of Allah Ta’ala or Aayaats (verses) of the Qur’an are also very often found discarded without any respect. The gross disrespect to the word of Allah Ta’ala is the reason for many of our difficulties and hardships. It is necessary that we always handle the Qur’an with the greatest respect and stress the same upon our children.

MUSJID

Another of the symbols of Deen is the Musjid. Hence to honour the Musjid is a sign of Imaan. Various injunctions indicate the degree of the sanctity of the Musjid and to what extent it should be respected. Among these injunctions are: One in the state of Janaabat (condition of impurity which makes it compulsory to take a bath) may not enter the Musjid. All worldly talk is prohibited. Bad odours must not be brought into the Musjid. Voices must not be raised. Consider the issue of odours in the Musjid. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said: “The one who has eaten onions or garlic should not attend the Musjid” (until the odour has been completely removed). Thus those who walk to the door of the Musjid smoking and then enter with the offensive smell of cigarettes, severely compromise the respect and sanctity of the Musjid.

Another aspect is that of raised voices in the Musjid. It is reported in a Hadith that one of the signs of Qiyamah is that voices will be raised (in conversation) in the Musjid. While this unfortunately is common, the most serious breach of the respect of the Musjid in this regard happens after a Nikah. Scant regard is given to the house of Allah. One should be extremely careful in this regard and refrain from all worldly talk.

PARENTS

While respect for elders is fast decreasing in general, shocking incidents that regularly come to light indicate the level to which respect for parents has fallen. The Qur’an declares: “Do not even say to them (parents) “Oof.“ The word “oof” in the Arabic language is to denote the slightest degree of displeasure. How can it ever be permissible to talk harshly to one’s parents or to argue with them? Yet, even the unthinkable, that parents are physically abused by their children, is often reported. May Allah Ta’ala save us. Such treatment of parents is to invite calamity upon oneself.

REASON FOR LOSS OF RESPECT

Among the main reasons for the loss of respect is the constant exposure to Western culture through the media. The T.V., DVD’s, magazines, even comics, internet, social media, cellphones and many computer games, slowly erode the respect of our children. It is therefore necessary that we remove these influences from their lives and introduce them to the life of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), the Sahaaba (R.A.) and the pious predecessors. If our children lose respect, Allah forbid – we too could become helpless victims of their gross disrespect. It will then be difficult to reverse the situation. We must act now. May Allah Ta’ala assist us. Aameen.

A DISOBEDIENT SON

Q. I have a friend who is a practising Muslim. He gives much charity and engages much in Thikr. However, his father is displeased with him. This son has severed his ties with his father. I have advised him of the grave sin, but he remains aloof from his father.
What advice is there for him?
A. Neither is his charity nor his thikr nor his Salaat accepted by Allah Ta’ala. The child who severs ties with his/her parents is accursed. He is mal-oon. The possibility of leaving this dunya without Imaan is a grave danger overhanging your friend.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of your father, and the displeasure of Allah is in the displeasure of your father.”
Neither Nafl nor Fardh ibaadat is accepted from a disobedient son/daughter. All of his Salaat, thikr and charity go to waste. In fact, if Allah Ta’ala grants him hidaayat and the taufeeq to repent and restore his relationship with his father, then he should make qadha of all the Fardh Salaat which he had performed during the time when he was under Allah’s La’nat. That is the period in which he had severed his ties with his father.
Although technically qadha is not Waajib, the objective of Salaat, which is the
Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala and Thawaab in the Aakhirat, has not been acquired.
Therefore, it is necessary to make qadha of all such despoiled and futile Salaat
which is of no benefit in the Aakhirat.