GIVE ME THE CHILD OF TODAY AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MAN OF TOMORROW!

Hakeemul Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Sahib رحمه الله has said in Aadaabul Mu’aasharah that we nowadays rear our children in a similar manner as cattle are reared.

The cattle are well fed and fattened and eventually they are slaughtered. Similarly, we feed our children well, adorn them with (designer) garments and (accessories) jewellery and rear them in luxury. The ultimate end of such children is Jahannum. In the process, the parents will also suffer punishment due to the children being brought up in luxuries whilst at the same time being deprived of proper Islamic training. Many of our children are ignorant of the importance of Salaah and Saum (fasting); the fault lying with the parents who have deliberately kept the children ignorant of the fundamentals of Deen.

The children of the Ummah are the future of the Ummah.

How wisely has it not been said: Give me the child of today and I will give you the man of tomorrow!

Great personalities were moulded during their childhood. Thus we need to be extremely careful how we rear our children.

Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayh has given the following advice with regards to how to bring up children:

If it is a girl, do not give her the habit of worrying too much about plaiting and parting her hair or wearing very stylish clothing.

When a child persists or insists on having something, do not fulfill all his wishes or else he will become spoilt.

Prevent the child from talking very loudly or shouting. Especially if it is a girl and she speaks in this loud shouting manner, you should scold her and reprimand her. If you do not do this, this habit will remain when she grows up.

Safeguard your child from speaking or mixing with children who have evil habits, who are not interested in their learning, who are in the habit of wearing stylish clothes or eating extravagant dishes.

Always inculcate a hatred for the following actions in your child, i.e. teach him to hate the following acts:

becoming angry,
speaking lies,
envying someone,
stealing,
carrying tales,
defending whatever he does or says,
to unnecessarily “make up” stories,
speaking excessively without any benefit,
laughing unnecessarily or laughing excessively,
cheating or deluding someone,
not thinking about or not differentiating between good and bad.
If any of these acts or traits are found in him, stop him immediately and warn him.

Occasionally you should give them some money so that they may purchase whatever they wish.

Teach them the etiquette and manners of eating, sitting and standing in gatherings.

The habit of waking up early should be inculcated in the child.

When the child reaches the age of seven, inculcate the habit of offering salât.

As far as possible, make him learn under a religious-minded teacher.

Comment: This is very important. Allowing an immoral, sinful person to teach our children in private non – Muslim schools etc. will surely have disastrous consequences.

A pious person, on the other hand, will influence our children to do good deeds and have respect and the Fear of Allah Ta’ala, Insha-Allah.

THE ULTIMATE KINDNESS

 

Every mother knows that it is impermissible for a child to breastfeed after the age of two. At the same time, mothers understand that their infant children cannot progress from a purely milk-based diet to a diet of solids overnight. If this drastic, unfamiliar change is thrust upon the child in an instant, he will struggle to adapt and his digestive system will suffer.

In exactly the same way, we all know that once a child becomes baaligh (reaches the age of maturity), it is compulsory for him to perform all the five daily salaah on time. Furthermore, in the case of a male, these salaah will have to be performed in the masjid.

Just as a mother begins weaning her breastfeeding child in advance, and gradually introduces solids to him, so that when he is two years of age, he is already accustomed to solids and can easily make the transition, the parents should adopt the same approach for their children’s salaah.

The hadeeth teaches us that we should commence teaching and training our children to perform their salaah when they reach the age of seven. Thereafter, when they reach the age of ten, they should be disciplined for showing laziness in regard to salaah. (Sunan Tirmizi #407) In other words, by the time they reach the age of ten, the concern for salaah should be firmly embedded in their hearts and punctuality on salaah should be their second nature.

As parents, it is really an injustice and unkindness on our side that we fail to teach our children the importance of salaah when they are young, and thereafter, when they are teens, we suddenly expect them to have perfect punctuality on their salaah. Although they are responsible and answerable for their own actions at this time, we will undoubtedly have a share in their sin of neglecting salaah as we are partially to blame.

The effort must be made to teach the children the importance of salaah. This is easily achieved through reading the chapter ‘Virtues of Salaah’ to our children in our daily home ta’leem of Fazaail-e-Aa’maal. Mothers should make their daughters and small sons perform salaah with them so that they learn the concept of salaah and develop eagerness for it.

Once a son reaches the age of seven, his father should begin taking him to the musjid. However, before doing so, the father must ensure that his son understands the sanctity of the masjid and knows how to conduct himself correctly. Thereafter, he must monitor his son and discipline him appropriately so that his son does not disturb others and become a nuisance in the masjid. In this regard, small children that do not understand the sanctity of the masjid should not be taken to the masjid.

Training our children in this manner is not only compulsory – it is a highly-rewarding investment and one of the ultimate acts of kindness that we can show them. Every single time our child performs salaah, until the day he or she passes away, we will be rewarded, as we taught them to perform salaah.

May Allah Ta‘ala bless us all to be punctual on our salaah and train our children correctly.

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