A Sister whose father is a member of the Tablighi Jamaat, telling her sad story, says:
“I would like to know the rights of parents in the following situation:
From the time we were born, no attention was given to us children nor love. My father joined the Tabligh Jamaat when we were small kids. He started going four months every other year, leaving us with barely enough. He always called us his enemies, saying it’s in the Qu’ran, Naudhubillah! We were beaten up for very small mistakes, forced to fast all Sunnat fasts and pray all the Sunnats, and go to Ta’lims. If we didn’t we were beaten. We were never taught Deen. We were expected to know everything and do everything right. We were taunted for every thing we ate and drank, and my mother was more or less the same. As we grew we all hated to be at home and so my sisters got married early just to be away from home. My brothers were thrown out.
I got married too but came back, and things have only become worse with me. Many times I was told to work but I refuse because it’s not permissible. There is a lot of harshness towards me. I have been thrown out of the house too, so I went to my brother’s house. I had gone into depression. I started hating my parents.
After leaving my husband, we decided to live all together, my brother and I, as parents are old, and nobody to take care of them. But our parents don’t really want to live with us because they find us a burden as my brother has low income and my father is working but doesn’t want to support us in the house. He says it’s my son’s responsibility to feed me. Things are worse in the house, not better.
My father is very Tablighi, and he expects us to be the same. He is always giving us lectures, but all sorts of Haraam happen in our house and my father is involved in them like photography, mixed gatherings, etc, we have told them it’s haraam but they give justifications. Then they tell the outsiders every thing going on in the house. This is just a brief description of our haal with our parents.
Now we are trying to do Khidhmat (be of service) to them, but there is no love in the heart. And with all the shouting it creates distance, I have been feeling stressed up, I feel I will go mad with this situation. I feel anger and hatred for them. I feel depressed. Please advise.” (End of the Sister’s sad narrative).
Our Advice and
Your experience is not an isolated one. Innumerable families of Tablighi men languish under the yoke of zulm (oppression) of their jaahil tyrannical husbands/fathers. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’aan Majeed:
“His similitude is like that of a smooth rock on which (has gathered) some soil. Then a heavy rain shower falls on it, leaving it (once again) bare (and smooth as it was before the soil had gathered on it).” (Al-Baqarah, Aayat 264)
Generally, this is the condition of Tablighis. There is hardly any Islaah of the Nafs in their programmes. Their concentration and emphasis are on their innovatory methods and recruiting followers without ensuring proper self-reformation. The moral corruption and spiritual maladies remain embedded in these people. The overwhelming majority of Tablighis are juhala who quickly become bloated with false ideas of piety and greatness as a consequence of their changed outward appearance. They believe themselves to have attained lofty ranks of piety on the basis of appearance – kurtah, beard, amaamah. In fact even their appearance is not altogether in conformity with the Sunnah. Innumerable of them wear their trousers on and below their ankles. Their moral corruption is vividly displayed in their total abstention from Mushtabah (Doubtful) food and in consuming haraam carrion and the like. The villainy of the nafs becomes conspicuoulsy exhibited when they are angered. This kufr feature of disgracing Muslims and assaulting Muslims violently has incrementally come to the surface since the Tabligh Jamaat broke up into two hostile camps. Both camps abolished their sixth principle of Ikraamul Muslim (honouring Muslims), and now the unwritten principle incorporated is Ihaanatul Muslim (Humiliating a Muslim), hence the mutual goondagerry and violence. Their abject jahaalat (ignorance) is illustrated vividly even in the Musaajid. They lack adab for the Musjid and for Musallis. They ignore Ahkaam of the Shariah. There is much to say and comment on their jahaalat and moral and spiritual corruption. However, for the sake of brevity we confine our comment to the sad lament of the Sister. Your father’s tyranny is the consequence of two factors: (1) Gross ignorance of the Shariah, and (2) No Islaah of the Nafs. That is why he committed the zulm of going for his fake four month ‘tablighi’ stints without making adequate arrangements for the family back home. His abuse, shouting and assaulting are the effects of shaitaan’s control. He is a slave of his rotten nafs. Whilst he displays piety with his outward appearance and sweet talk when he is in public, he reveals the true colours of his hypocrisy at home by disgorging all the filth in his nafs and heart. When the tap of a barrel is opened, only that which is inside flows. Thus, when your father opens his mouth, the rot and filth inside him gush out. Sister, this is the general condition of Tablighis, including their molvis. Their piety is like the sand on the smooth rock which gets washed clean as soon as a torrent of rain falls. They pout their lips very ‘adeptly’ and deceptively with the word ‘yaqeen’ whilst they are totally bereft of yaqeen. In fact, they lack the haziest idea of the meaning of yaqeen. Whilst your father is guilty of tyranny (zulm) on his children, you are after all his daughter. Notwithstanding his zulm and villainy you should never become insolent towards him regardless of the lack of love you have for him. Do not give vent to the enmity in your heart. Render khidmat to your parents and tolerate with silence their abuse. Do not incur the Wrath of Allah Ta’ala by becoming disrespectful to your parents. Your Sabr and Dua will be well and abundantly rewarded, Insha-Allah.
THE MAJLIS VOL 26 NO 08