THE SUNNAH OF ‘TAHNIK’

Aishah (radhiyallahu anha) said:

Babies were brought to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and he blessed them, and after having chewed something, e. g. DATES or ANY OTHER SWEET THING) he rubbed it against their soft palates.”
“Sahih Muslim”, 286a]

This Sunnah is called ‘تحنيك’ (tahnik): rubbing something sweet inside the baby’s mouth.

Science:

BBC: ‘Sugar gel’ helps premature
babies

Date: 25/09/2013

A DOSE OF SUGAR given as a gel RUBBED INTO THE INSIDE OF THE CHEEK is a cheap and EFFECTIVE WAY to protect premature BABIES AGAINST BRAIN DAMAGE, say experts.

Andy Cole, chief executive of premature baby charity Bliss, said:

This is a very interesting piece of new research and we always welcome anything that has the potential to
improve outcomes for babies born premature or sick.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health24224206

How to be an obedient wife (and why)

“If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise by whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.” – Narrated by Ahmad (1664)

The words of our Prophet, peace be upon him, are very clear. As believing women, we must obey our husbands. Indeed, this requirement is so important that the Prophet pbuh mentioned it alongside three of the most fundamental practices of Islam; i.e., the five daily prayers, fasting during Ramadan, and guarding one’s chastity.

In the world today, however, there is a general backlash against this teaching. ‘Why should wives obey husbands? Why is obedience necessary? Why can’t we have a marriage based only on equality and mutual love and respect? Why should I obey my husband, just because he is a man, and I’m a woman? Aren’t men and women equal?

In the following paragraphs, I shall attempt to answer these questions.

Why is obedience necessary?

Every institution, in order to function properly, needs a leader. You can’t have a body with two heads. You can’t have a school with two principals. You can’t have a company with two CEOs. The family is no different. When it comes to decision-making, it is best to have a single leader who has the last say on things; especially if, from time to time, decisions have to be made within a short time-frame.

The alternative is to argue endlessly: this happens when each person insists that they are right and is not willing to concede.

A family with a leader functions more efficiently than a family that doesn’t have a leader. Allah ta’ala says:

You who believe: Obey God and the Messenger, and those in authority among you.

The people in authority (husbands, parents, leaders) represent Allah’s authority; hence, we must respect and obey them.

Aren’t men and women equal?

As Muslims, when we say ‘Men and women are equal’, we mean that men and women are equal in matters related to salvation; but in other matters, Islam promotes equity, not equality. In many respects, men and women have the same rights rights. In some issues, women have more rights than men; in other issues, men have more rights than women. Of course, with more rights come more responsibilities. The Quran teaches that there is a hierarchal structure to the household,

‘Men are in charge of women’ (4:34)

Men and women are not the same. They have different physical and emotional needs. Islam acknowledges these differences.

One major psychological difference is that at their very core, men crave respect while women crave love. For women, the strongest psychological need is ‘to feel loved’: when we don’t feel loved and valued, we feel hurt. Men need to feel that others (especially, their wives) respect them. When a man doesn’t feel respected, he feels hurt and angry. When a woman respects her husband, he feels more masculine and powerful. This will make him want to take care of his wife, love her, and ensure her happiness. The more a woman respects her man, the more he will love her; and the more he loves her, the easier it becomes for her to respect and obey him.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that women don’t want to be respected, or that men don’t have a desire to be loved; but the strongest need is different for each.

When To Obey; and When Not to Obey

Being obedient doesn’t mean you always have to agree with your husband: When you disagree with him, you have every right to voice your opinion; but do so respectfully. If he insists that his decision is better, defer to his thinking. When you criticise or dismiss his ideas, (this can well happen in an argument) it’s always best to apologise; even when you know you’re right. Remember what the Prophet pbuh told a married woman:

Be mindful of how you are with him [your husband]. He is your Paradise and your hell.

(Sahih Al Jami’ 1509)

Muslim wives should follow their husbands’ leadership, except in the following circumstances:

  1. He wants you to do something that contravenes the commands of Allah ta’ala and his Messenger pbuh: One should not obey any creature, when this obedience involves disobeying the Creator; so, if your husband tells you to do something that is forbidden (for example, drinking wine) – you must not obey him.
  2. He wants you to do something that would harm you (or others) physically or emotionally. This is a basic principle of Islam, ‘La darar wa la darâr’ i.e., one should not harm oneself or others.

Being obedient doesn’t mean you should put up with abuse. It is also not a licence for husbands to abuse their wives; and act in an irresponsible and unkind manner. Love and kindness are essential components of a marriage:

Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)

(QURAN 30:21)

Final Thoughts

We’ve been made to believe that being obedient is demeaning to women: it’s not.

Obedience is a choice. The very fact that Allah taála and His Messenger enjoin us to obey our husbands means that that it’s possible not to obey. You can make a free conscious decision to either obey or disobey your husband; when you choose to obey, you will be rewarded with Paradise. 

When you obey your husband, you show that you trust your man and put your full confidence in him. It’s a sign of love and respect. By respecting him, you also respect yourself; you’re acknowledging that you made a wise choice to marry him. You are also ultimately respecting and obeying the Creator; Allah SWT says:   

Righteous women are those who are obedient,

Guarding in secret what Allah would have them guard.

(Quran 4:34)

this post taken from:https://firdawsjannah.wordpress.com/blog/

MISC. WOMEN’S ISSUES

VARIOUS QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS RELATED TO WOMEN FROM THE MAJLIS VOL 25 NO 10

Q. Is it permissible for a wife to take a job outside the home? Can the husband prevent her?
A. It is not permissible for the wife to take a job outside the home even with the permission
of the husband. It is not permissible for her to do any work even from home without the
permission of her husband. The maintenance is the responsibility of the husband. If he provides the maintenance, and he refuses permission for his wife to work and earn even from home, then it will not be permissible for her to undertake any job even from within the precincts of the home. The husband is under Shar’i obligation to prohibit and prevent his wife from leaving the house to work or to participate in any kind of function.

Q. My husband works in an office among females who are immodestly dressed. He says that he keeps his eyes cast down. He also says that Muslim doctors and even Ulama work with women. What is the Shariah’s law in this regard?
A. The doctors and even Ulama who do not observe proper Hijaab and who work with women are not the Shariah. Their activities and their mingling with women in their professions and occupations may not be presented as a valid basis. The only basis is the Shariah, not the practices of people even if they are great Ulama. If their practices are in conflict with the Shariah, it will remain haraam and not become halaal because they happen to be ‘great’ Ulama. It is not proper and not permissible for a Muslim male doctor to attend to female patients. He should divert them to female doctors. Only if there is a valid reason upheld by the Shariah may a male doctor attend to a female and vice versa. There are numerous non-Muslim female
doctors who can handle Muslim female patients. A Muslim doctor is not supposed to work in a hospital where he has to incumbently interact with females. Thus, their actions are not Islamic proofs for permissibility.
Your husband should himself make a sincere attempt to work elsewhere where he will not be in the company of women. He is bound to fall into the pit of zina. Shaitaan and the Nafs are deceiving him.


Q. Is it permissible to donate human milk?
A. Human breast milk is haraam. Breast milk is only halaal for under two year old infants. Donating or selling human milk or any part of the human body is haraam.

Q. Will a woman be a faasiq if she does not wear niqaab?
A. A woman who does not wear Niqaab in public is worse than a faasiqah. She is a faajirah (immoral).

Q. Will the wife be disobedient if she refuses to submit to her husband’s demand for oral sex?
A. The one who makes such a filthy satanic demand is worse than a pig. Oral or shaitaan sex is haraam. The wife should not submit to the swine-filth of the husband. She will not be disobedient. She is under Shar’i obligation to refuse the haraam instructions and haraam lusts of her husband. How can a human being who is termed Ashraful Makhluqaat (The Noblest of Creation) descend into such depths of swine-inequity?

Q. Is marriage to a Salafi girl valid?
A. Marriage with a Salafi girl is valid just as marriage with a Muslim prostitute is valid. However, such a marriage will be full of misery, hence inadvisable. There will be no compatibility and the marriage is likely
to break down and end in divorce. The Deeni differences and conflicts between Salafis and the Muqallideen of the Math-habs constitute an unbridgeable chasm.

Q. Does the period of breastfeeding differ for boys and girls?
A. The period of breastfeeding is two years for both boys and girls.


Q. My mother is extremely sick and complains a lot. What advice can I give her?
A. Be of service to her to the best of your ability. Tell her that it comes in the Hadith that sickness is a purifier. It cleanses us from all our sins provided that we do not complain. Complaining will not cure the sickness. On the contrary the sickness will become worse. Sickness is also a ni’mat (favour) of Allah Ta’ala. He purifies us here on earth with sicknesses and other difficulties so that we can enter Jannat fully purified. Advise your mother to keep her tongue constantly engaged in Thikrullaah. Maut can come at any moment. Therefore, the tongue should always be engaged in some Thikr to ensure departure from this dunya with
the Kalimah on the tongue.


Q. Is imitation jewellery permissible?
A. Imitation jewellery is permissible for women except rings. Rings must be of either gold or silver.

Q. Is it proper for a man to marry a second wife only for the sake of his lust?
A. Allah Ta’ala permits a man to marry four women. As far as ‘lust’ is concerned, everyone marries to satisfy his/her lust. The primary motive for marrying even one wife is to gratify lust. Initially people marry only to satisfy lust even if only one wife is taken. Allah Ta’ala has created lust in people, hence He is aware that men require more than one wife to satisfy their lust lawfully. Never voice yourself against any Law of Allah Ta’ala. Recite Istighfaar and make Taubah.


Q. Why is it not permissible for women to attend walimahs. During the time of Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam), they would go to walimahs.
A. Just as it is not permissible for women to attend the Musjid even if there are separate entrances, so too is it forbidden for women to attend ‘walimahs’ nowadays. Furthermore, the ‘walimahs’ nowadays are farcical and bid’ah. In fact, it is not permissible for even men to attend the reception organized by the girl’s parents on the day of the Nikah. Such a reception is not the walimah. Women used to attend the Musjid for Salaat during the age of Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam). However, this was unanimously banned later by the Sahaabah.
The same applies to walimahs and to all other merrymaking functions.

Q. How many holes may a lady pierce in her ears?
A. A lady may pierce her ears only with one hole in each ear. More than one is the style of the kuffaar.

Q. My husband has cheated on me. He has struck up adulterous relationships. My heart is broken. I don’t know what to do. My health is suffering. I want to run away. Please give me some advice.
A. Countless women are undergoing the same heart-breaking problems. When men lack Taqwa, they conduct themselves like atheists. They really do not believe that Allah Ta’ala is seeing them and that the Recording
Angels are writing their misdeeds. However, do understand well that your broken heart is a wonderful treasure by Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala, in His Own Words, said to Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam):
“I am with every broken heart.” Your grief will not be in vain. You will receive immense rewards for patiently bearing the grief. Focus more on Allah Ta’ala. Do not ruin your health on account of the shenanigans of your husband. Maintain your health and use it to gain nearness to Allah Ta’ala. Increase ibaadat. Life on earth is short. It is full of trials. May Allah Ta’ala grant you strength and steadfastness on the Deen. May Allah Ta’ala guide your husband and protect you.

Q. A man has two wives. The one wife lives with him while the other wife lives in her own house about 100 kilometres away. This wife demands equal nights. What is the Shariah’s rule?
A. In the scenario mentioned by you, if the wife who lives 100 kilometres away desires equal nights, then she has to reside in a house procured for her by her husband in the town where he lives. She cannot demand equal nights living in her own house 100 km from her husband.

Q. I do not allow my children to visit their grandparents – my parents and my wife’s parents.
They have televisions, and in general they do not observe the rules of the Shariah such as purdah, mushtabah / haraam food, etc. They are accusing me of breaking family ties. Am I breaking family ties?
A. In fact, it is not permissible to send your children to relatives who are not strict on the Deen. Refraining from sending the children does not mean that you are severing family ties. It is the Waajib obligation of parents to ensure that the Akhlaaq of their children are not compromised by relatives. Nowadays, the safest is to stay at home, and not to visit even relatives. We are trapped in an era of fitnah and fasaad. A home where the Deen is observed is a holy sanctuary visited by the Malaaikah of Rahmat. On the other hand, houses such as the homes of your parents are haunts for the shayaateen. These people lack the haziest idea of the meaning of family ties and what constitutes disruption of breaking of family ties. Furthermore, it is haraam to uphold
‘family ties’ when in conflict with the Shariah.

Q. Is there a special thikr or amal for anxiety and depression? When my evil past comes to mind, I develop anxiety and go into depression.
A. When anxiety develops, do not brood on the past. Do not entertain the thought which is the cause for the anxiety. Instead, lapse into Thikrullah. Perform two raka’ts Nafl and engage in Thikrullah. Shaitaan tries to derail a person by causing anxiety in this manner. A Mu’min equipped with the weapon of Thikr does not suffer depression. Anxiety is an assault of shaitaan, and its antidote is Thikrullah. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Shaitaan sits glued on the heart of man. When he (man) makes thikr, shaitaan
flees. When he (man) is oblivious (ghaafil), shaitaan casts his waswasah.”

Q. I have found out that my husband is conducting relationships with women via his cell phone. He refuses to give me the password. What should I do?
A. 99% of the men of this age, including molvis and sheikhs, are involved in cellphone zina and pornography. There is nothing you will be able to do in these circumstances. Men and women are drowning in deluges of moral filth – zina and porno – of the cellphone. Little children are also addicted to this device of shaitaan. The
entire Ummah across the board, is buffeted madly in this whirlpool of cellphone filth. People no longer have Imaan. They have become atheists. They are in entirety bereft of any concept of Allah’s Omnipresence. They
have become munaafiqs. Whilst they blabber with their mouths about the Recording Angels, they sin flagrantly in front of these Malaaikah and with Allah Ta’ala looking at them. But since they do not really believe in the Presence of Allah Ta’ala and His Malaaikah, they sin recklessly. You can only constantly offer good advice to your husband and adopt Sabr. If you are unable to bear his evil abuse with patience then your marriage will end. Thus, your choice is between Sabr and Talaaq.
Q. The separation between a husband and wife was in terms of Khula’. Is it correct that the Iddat of this woman is 30 days?
A. The Iddat of a woman whether separated by Talaaq or Khula is the same. It is three haidh periods if not pregnant. If pregnant, it ends with the delivery of the child.

A HARAAM GAMBLING SCHEME

Q. There is a WhatsApp group thing, which appears to be gambling. A number of people contribute money. Lots are drawn. One person collects the whole sum of the contributions. A lot of muslim females are now joining this group and recruiting more people to join the group. A muslim female told me she put in R500, and she walked away with R3000. Is this scheme permissible?
They literally just add a R500 into the group, they not selling any goods or services.
For example, you added to group of 15 people. You are the 15th person, you add a R500. Once everyone has given a R500, then they pay the 1st person in the group, then they remove that person. Then you get moved to the 14th position, and they add another person to be person number 15. Then no. 15 pays a R500.
The cycle carries on until you reach number 1 on the list, then you get paid all the money paid from everyone
else. You only put in R500 once. But you will walk away with R7000.


A. The scheme is haraam gambling. It is not permissible to join this gambling group. The prize won is haraam and should be given into charity to the poor. Shaitaan has inspired these evil people with this scheme. The whole scheme from beginning to end is haraam.

from the majlis vol 25 no. 10

“Orphans” …with Parents!

It’s a beautiful sunny day, Moosa and Fatima, two bubbly and vibrant 5 year old twins, try to draw their parent’s attention to the lovely sandcastles they had been constructing for hours in the garden. Dad is too busy viewing television and replying to emails on his Blackberry mobile while mum has for the last few hours been chatting with her friends and updating her Facebook page. Mum and dad, hardly take notice of their kid’s achievement. Both parents are usually so involved in their work and social environments that they “hardly” get time for their kids.

Apart from the first four weeks spent with mum after birth both Moosa and Fatima have ever since infancy been inhabitants of a day care centre. In the evenings mum picks them up on her way back home from office. Dad returns usually late in the evening and both parents barely have time to interact with their kids before its time to sleep and wake-up again.

A strange phenomenon of children with both parents but are “modern day orphans”. Due to many parents deep engrossment in the material and social environment, they are unable to spend basic and vital time with their children, thus neglecting them and reducing them to the level of “modern day orphans”. Parents are there, but in reality they are not “there”.
Child neglect, very common type of child abuse, is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs; it not only relates to lack of food, education and clothing but extends to the child’s emotional and spiritual needs as well as hygiene and supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot and the guilty parents are so often oblivious of this syndrome.

Recently a teacher from Primary School asked her students to write an essay about what they would like for them…
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her:- What happened?
She answered:- Read this. It’s one of my student’s essays.
Oh Allah, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk… I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.
Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired and I want my mum to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me… and… I want my brothers to fight to be with me… I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me and last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them… Allah I don’t ask you for much… I just want to live like every TV.
At that moment the husband said:- ‘My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!
She looked up at him and said:- ‘That essay is our son’s!!!

Makes you think doesn’t it?? The significance of child neglect should come as no surprise, given the present day lack of parental care and nurturance. It is so crucial to offer our children care in terms of educational training, emotional support and spiritual guidance. The heart of a child must be filled with love and Imaan(faith). A child’s mind must be entertained with proper guidance, knowledge and wisdom and not left to be nurtured by peer pressure, social networking and immoral television programs.
Allah Ta’ala, The Most Exalted says: “ O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire …”(Qur’an- 66:6).
The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Everyone of you is a protector and guardian and responsible for your wards and things under your care and a man(parent) is a guardian of his family members, and is accountable for those placed under his charge.” (Hadith-Bukhari and Muslim)
Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don’t realize what messages they are sending.

One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have caring and loving parents to call mum and dad. There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.

Have fun with your kids, laugh with them, talk to them – children remember having fun more than they remember having things. When they’re older, they look back and remember fun things you did together, not the expensive play stations, ipods, mobiles or toys they had. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon hin) was casual and loving towards children. He once kissed his grandchild while another companion of his witnessed this action and said; “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Hadith-Al-Bukhari)

Children are a great boon both in this world and even more in the hereafter… The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in this context, said: When someone dies, their works (righteous acts) come to an end, apart from three: Sadaqah Jariyah (ongoing charity), beneficial knowledge, or a pious child who prays for them (the deceased). (Related by Imam Muslim in his “Sahih”; Al-Tirmidhy, Al-Nasa’y and Imam Ahmad)
And never …yes never neglect and create “orphans” of them while both of you are still around…Children are indeed among our greatest assets…Love and care for them when they need it most and they will love and care for you when you need it most!


A SECULAR COURT’S DIVORCE DECREE IS NOT TALAAQ

A BROTHER FROM ENGLAND WRITES:
“Your response to my question on civil divorce and talaaq has generated much discussion and debate. However, some scholars still insist that the fatwa of the local Mufti is correct (that is, a court’s decree of divorce is a valid Talaaq according to the Shariah). They proffer the following arguments:

  1. As the husband is asking the court to issue him a divorce, his intention is inconsequential.
  2. Although the defenders of the fatwa cannot escape the reality that a non-Muslim judge has no wilaayat over a Muslim, for the purpose of fatwa, they argue, the judge has to be divested of his position and duties as a judge, and be treated as an ordinary person who is being appointed a wakeel by the petitioner. And since the wikaalat of a non-Muslim is acceptable, the divorce issued by him is also valid. A further piece of sophisticated incoherence they employ is to argue that a wakeel does not have to know that he has been appointed as wakeel while he may be acting as one.
    There seems to be much confusion among the scholars who agree that a civil divorce results in talaaq. In
    the US, the position adopted is that a talaaq raj’i comes into effect, whereas in the UK the ruling is for a talaaq baa-in.
    Reliance on this ruling is causing considerable heartache to Muslims in the UK. Women are walking away from their marriages using the fatwa as justification. Innocent men are accused of ‘living in sin’ simply
    because they have ended their legal marriage registration. I would appreciate further comments and advice on the matter. (The initial question was discussed in The Majlis, Vol.19 No.2)
    COMMENT:
    It is truly surprising that Ulama fail to grasp the simple reality of a secular court’s divorce decree not being a Shar’i Talaaq. The arguments they are proffering are like an attempt to squeeze blood from a stone.
    (1) The argument that “in divorce matters the spoken word or written word takes precedence over any interpretation the speaker or writer may attach to his words” has absolutely no relevance to the issue
    of a husband seeking annulment of the legal registration of his marriage. The argument
    presented here pertains to Talaaq, while the court application pertains to an entirely different matter. It does not relate to Talaaq. It pertains to cancellation of a secular registration by a secular court. Thus the
    argument is fallacious because what is being said applies to Talaaq while the application to court does not remotely relate to Talaaq.
    (2) The argument of Wikaalat (Agency) in this context is obnoxious and downright stupid. Neither does the husband appoint the judge to be his Wakeel nor does the judge accept that he is a Wakeel of the husband nor does he issue verdicts in the capacity of a wakeel of anyone,.
    (3) The judge cannot be treated as an ordinary person who has been appointed a wakeel.
    To imagine that the judge sitting in his court as a judicial official executing his judicial obligation is not a judge but an ordinary man who has been appointed the wakeel by a man who denies having appointed
    him the wakeel, is to defy reason, logic, brains and reality. If this type of corrupt and utterly baseless imagination could be regarded as valid for the extrapolation of Ahkaam (Shar’i laws), then one may employ such corrupt, stupid and baatil imagination to imagine that a prostitute is one’s wife and the
    relationship with her is lawful. There is no scope in the Shariah for the formulation of laws on the basis of imagination.
    (4) The petitioner denies appointing the judge as his wakeel. Reality totally precludes the operation of Wikaalat in the judicial procedure. And, if by some bizarre assumption it should be stupidly accepted that the judge is a wakeel, then too, the husband denies appointing him as his wakeel, and he denies the assignment of Talaaq to the judge who is imagined to be the wakeel. There must necessarily be some semblance of reality before one could ever entertain the idea of Wikaalat.
    (5) While the wikaalat of a non -Muslim is valid, the issue here is that a non-Muslim has not been appointed the wakeel. No one has been appointed the husband’s wakeel for issuing Talaaq on his behalf. Should we momentarily descend into the dregs of stupidity and assume that the judge is the husband’s wakeel, then too, it is binding on the wakeel to execute only the task which has been assigned to him by his Muakkil (principal). If a man appoints a wakeel to purchase for him a horse, the wakeel may not buy a donkey. If he
    does buy a donkey, it will be for himself, not for the muakkil. Now, if we should stupidly accept that the judge is the wakeel, then he has to act according to the instructions of the husband who has ordered
    him to cancel the secular registration of his marriage. If the wakeel who has not been appointed to administer Talaaq, issues talaaq to the man’s wife, such talaaq will not be valid. If a man appoints another person to strike his wife a few shots with a whip, and he (the wakeel) instead of giving her a beating issues Talaaq, such talaaq will not be valid for the simple reason that he did not act in accordance with the terms of his wikaalat.
    (6) The averment that a wakeel’s act will be valid even if he is unaware of his appointment as the wakeel, has no relevance here. The contention applies to an instance of ‘appointment’. But, in the matter under discussion there is no appointment. The husband flatly denies any appointment of a wakeel. This argument
    germane to our context is ludicrous. It is absurd.
    (7) The confusion among the scholars on this simple issue is the product of unprincipled reasoning. The matter is simple and conspicuous. There is no ambiguity. But because they have not applied their minds,
    they stumble in incongruities. The scenario is as simple as follows:
    A. The husband wants, for example, that after his death his estate should devolve to his heirs according to the Shariah. In a secular state he has to leave an Islamic Will to ensure conformity with the Shariah. However, in certain secular marital property regimes, an Islamic will is not valid. Or he requires cancellation of the secular registration for some other reason.
    B. To achieve this objective, he instructs an attorney to apply to the secular court for the cancellation of the
    registration. For accomplishing this, there is a secular legal procedure to follow. The attorney adopts this legal procedure, and makes the application to the court.
    C. The judge in his own right as the judge of the court decides and issues an order to cancel the registration.
    Now regardless of what the secular process is for achieving this objective, it is never Talaaq. The husband has not uttered Talaaq to his wife nor has he appointed the attorney or the judge to administer Talaaq
    to his wife. He only requires cancellation of the haraam registration.
    (8) Women who regard the kaafir court’s verdict as a Talaaq should understand that their Nikah remains valid. They cannot get Islamically married to any other man. Any subsequent mock ‘nikah’ with
    another man will be an adulterous relationship. It is therefore, imperative for the Muftis at your end to exercise caution and fear. They will be plunging people into the cauldron of zina with their highly erroneous fatwa.
    Furthermore, we do not understand how “women are walking away from their marriages, using the fatwa as justification”. Although the fatwa is highly erroneous and has no validity in the Shariah, as preposterous as it is, it nevertheless, has been issued for a case where the husband makes the application for cancellation of the registration. The fatwa does not bring within its scope a court’s decree of divorce applied for by a woman. If the wife makes the application, we are sure that the Muftis at your end, despite their inability to have comprehended the judge’s role and the husband’s petition, do not extend their
    idea to a case where the woman applies for ‘divorce’ regardless of whether the husband defends or does not defend the application. Thus, the issue of ‘women walking away from their marriages’ is incomprehensible to us.

GIVE ME THE CHILD OF TODAY AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE MAN OF TOMORROW!

Hakeemul Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Sahib رحمه الله has said in Aadaabul Mu’aasharah that we nowadays rear our children in a similar manner as cattle are reared.

The cattle are well fed and fattened and eventually they are slaughtered. Similarly, we feed our children well, adorn them with (designer) garments and (accessories) jewellery and rear them in luxury. The ultimate end of such children is Jahannum. In the process, the parents will also suffer punishment due to the children being brought up in luxuries whilst at the same time being deprived of proper Islamic training. Many of our children are ignorant of the importance of Salaah and Saum (fasting); the fault lying with the parents who have deliberately kept the children ignorant of the fundamentals of Deen.

The children of the Ummah are the future of the Ummah.

How wisely has it not been said: Give me the child of today and I will give you the man of tomorrow!

Great personalities were moulded during their childhood. Thus we need to be extremely careful how we rear our children.

Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayh has given the following advice with regards to how to bring up children:

If it is a girl, do not give her the habit of worrying too much about plaiting and parting her hair or wearing very stylish clothing.

When a child persists or insists on having something, do not fulfill all his wishes or else he will become spoilt.

Prevent the child from talking very loudly or shouting. Especially if it is a girl and she speaks in this loud shouting manner, you should scold her and reprimand her. If you do not do this, this habit will remain when she grows up.

Safeguard your child from speaking or mixing with children who have evil habits, who are not interested in their learning, who are in the habit of wearing stylish clothes or eating extravagant dishes.

Always inculcate a hatred for the following actions in your child, i.e. teach him to hate the following acts:

becoming angry,
speaking lies,
envying someone,
stealing,
carrying tales,
defending whatever he does or says,
to unnecessarily “make up” stories,
speaking excessively without any benefit,
laughing unnecessarily or laughing excessively,
cheating or deluding someone,
not thinking about or not differentiating between good and bad.
If any of these acts or traits are found in him, stop him immediately and warn him.

Occasionally you should give them some money so that they may purchase whatever they wish.

Teach them the etiquette and manners of eating, sitting and standing in gatherings.

The habit of waking up early should be inculcated in the child.

When the child reaches the age of seven, inculcate the habit of offering salât.

As far as possible, make him learn under a religious-minded teacher.

Comment: This is very important. Allowing an immoral, sinful person to teach our children in private non – Muslim schools etc. will surely have disastrous consequences.

A pious person, on the other hand, will influence our children to do good deeds and have respect and the Fear of Allah Ta’ala, Insha-Allah.

NASEEHAT FOR MUSLIM DIVORCEES

“VERILY, NASEEHAT BENEFITS THE MU’MINEEN” QUR’AAN)
Every Muslim knows and understands that Islam is the Deen of Allah Azza Wa Jal, and that obedience to the commands and prohibitions of this Deen is imperative. It is essential that the difference between sin and rebellion be understood. While sinning against the Law of Allah Ta’ala renders the perpetrator a faasiq, he/she remains a Muslim. On the other hand, rejection of any tenet of Islam is rebellion which is kufr. Thus, the one who rejects any Law of the Shariah becomes a kaafir even if he/she does not commit it. Allah Ta’ala states in the Qur’aan Majeed:
“It is not lawful for a Mu’min (Believing man) nor for a Mu’minah (Believing woman) when Allah and His Rasool have decided an issue that they have any choice in any of their affairs.”
Allah Ta’ala also declares in the Qur’aan Shareef: “Verily, By your Rabb! They do not have Imaan until they appoint you (O Muhammad!) the judge
in their mutual disputes. Then they do not find within themselves any dissatisfaction with regard to what you have decided, and they fully (and wholeheartedly) submit (to your Ruling).”
Thus, in a dispute, the Mu’min and the Mu’minah turn to the Shariah of Allah Ta’ala, not to the secular courts for relief and resolution. These Qur’aanic verses as well as many other Aayaat and Ahaadith make it abundantly clear that rebellion or rejection of Allah’s Laws or even discontent and dissatisfaction against the Rulings of the Shariah are acts of kufr which eliminate Imaan. One who is guilty of such rejection /dissatisfaction leaves the fold of Islam and becomes a murtadd. Having understood the gravity of rejection of any Hukm of the Deen, we are directing this Naseehat in particular to Muslim divorced sisters who hasten
to enlist the aid of the kuffaar courts to extract haraam money from their ex-husbands. When a marriage breaks down and ends in divorce, the Muslim woman should understand that she is still a Muslim. The acrimony and hurt which the breakdown of the marriage has caused should not impel her to barter away her Imaan, become a murtaddah and ruin her everlasting life of success, happiness and pleasure of the Aakhirah for the sake of gaining the carrion of this world. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi
wasallam) said: “This world is carrion.” Life is short and miserable in this dunya. This world is an abode of trial and tribulation. Difficulties and misery should not be allowed to efface intelligence to cause the ruin of Imaan.
The divorcee should understand that when she proceeds to a non-Muslim court to gain custody of children, to gain maintenance and to claim half the estate of her ex-husband, she stands in open rebellion and violation of Allah’s Laws. She stands in precisely the same position and adopts the same stance as Shaitaan had adopted when Allah Ta’ala commanded the Sajdah for Hadhrat Aadam (alayhis salaam). There he stood erect among the
trillions and trillions of Malaaikah whose heads were all in prostration. The divorcee in the kuffaar court is in this shaitaani category of rebellion. She is
not only transgressing and committing a sin. By her demand that the secular court declares her Islamic marriage to be one in community of property, and that maintenance in conflict with the Shariah be fixed for her and the children, she flagrantly and rebelliously refutes and rejects the Law of Allah Ta’ala on these issues. For the sake of laying hands on ill-gotten wealth belonging to her ex-husband, she rejects Islam’s categoric laws on these issues, expels her Imaan from her heart and leaves the fold of Islam. She does so by rejecting Islamic Law and adopting Jaahiliyyah law. In this regard the Qur’aan Majeed warns:
“What! Do you search for the law of Jaahiliyyah (the law of the kuffaar)? And whose law is better than the Law of Allah for people of Imaan?” Rushing to the kuffaar court to acquire rulings in terms of the law of Jaahiliyyah and Kufr merely to lay hands on haraam money, is tantamount to kufr – such kufr which expels one from Islam.
Imaan is negated. Allah Ta’ala has ordained a Law to which all Muslims have to compulsorily submit. Refusal to submit to the Divine Law is kufr. It is essential that the divorcee who seeks the aid of the nonMuslim court for the acquisition of rulings in flagrant and violent conflict with the Shariah understands that she no longer remains a Muslim. It is also vitally important for the Muslim community to understand that the woman who
becomes murtaddah in this manner, should not be regarded as a Muslim. Nikah with her will not be valid nor will it be permissible to accord her an Islamic burial. She ceases to be an heir in the estate of her deceased parents or anyone else’s estate in which she inherits if she is a Muslim.
Another, vital consideration which should not be overlooked is the status of
such ‘Muslim’ lawyers who aid and abet such a recalcitrant divorcee to gain kufr relief from a secular court. Such lawyers too become murtadd.
The Ahkaam of Irtidaad will become applicable to them.
Muslim sisters are reminded that proceeding to court for the acquisition of rulings in conflict with the Shariah puts them fully within the scope of the
Qur’aanic ruling stated in the following aayat:
“THOSE WHO DO NOT DECIDE ACCORDING TO THAT (LAW) WHICH ALLAH HAS REVEALED, VERILY, THEY ARE INDEED T H E KAAFIROON.”
It is not intelligent to destroy the everlasting life of Pleasure in Jannat for
the decomposing carrion of this transitory worldly life. Aql demands that the bitterness and inordinate demands of the nafs be restrained and regulated within the confines of the Shariah. The trend of committing kufr and becoming murtadd by resorting to the kuffaar court to gain rulings in
diametric conflict and in negation of the Shariah is on the increase among
Muslim divorcees who see an opportunity to lay hands on the money of
their ex-husbands. They should understand what they will be ingesting
when they devour the Suht (haraam rot) which the court of Jaahiliyyah
awards them. Every second they will be under the curse (La’nat) of Allah Azza Wa Jal and His Malaaikah. For the ‘comfort’ of a miserable few short years of earthly life, it most certainly is not intelligent to sacrifice the comfort and success of the Aakhirah.
When shaitaan influences you to proceed to a court of Jaahiliyyah in search
of the hukm of Jaahiliyyah and Kufr, you should reflect and seek forgiveness from Allah Ta’ala for your recalcitrance. Imaan is the most
valuable treasure that Insaan possesses. It is an extremely delicate treasure. A ‘simple’ statement or an attitude can extinguish this treasure to bring everlasting perdition and ruin to the murtaddah. May Allah Ta’ala guide you and preserve your Imaan and the Imaan of all Muslims.
(

Making her Dream a Reality

(Mother of Moulana Muhammad ‘Umar Paalanpuri [rahimahumullah] –)

It had always been the aspiration and desire of the mother of Moulana Muhammad ‘Umar Paalanpuri (rahimahullah) that her son should become an ‘Aalim of Deen, and Allah Ta‘ala made this dream of her’s a reality.

Maryam Khaalah had once narrated the hadeeth to her which mentions that the parents of the haafiz of the Quraan Majeed will be honoured by being made to wear crowns of noor on the Day of Qiyaamah. Hearing this hadeeth, his mother began to weep and said to her son, “My son! I want you to learn the Quraan Majeed, and you must learn Saheeh Bukhaari as well!” Moulana (rahimahullah) asked, “What will happen to my school/secular education?” His mother replied, “That is not my concern – my only concern is that you acquire the knowledge of Deen!”

At the age of seven, Moulana (rahimahullah) enrolled into a school in Bombay. It was the following year, when he was eight years old, that his father passed away. Moulana (rahimahullah) remained in school for five years, until the year 1942, when he returned with his mother to spend the holiday in his hometown. While he was at home during the holiday, his mother began sending him to the local madrasah in which a very pious ‘Aalim, Moulana ‘Abdul Hafeez Jalaalpuri (rahimahullah), was teaching. Moulana ‘Abdul Hafeez (rahimahullah) showed him special attention, and under his tutelage, Moulana progressed tremendously, studying no less than fifty kitaabs in one year.

During the course of this year, Moulana ‘Abdul Hafeez (rahimahullah) needed to return to his hometown in the province of U.P., over a thousand kilometers away. He sent a message to Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother saying, “I want to take your son with me to my hometown so that his studies will not suffer (and I can continue to teach him).” Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother was determined to make her son an ‘Aalim, so she acquired a loan of fifty rupees due to her financial constraints, and sent him to study Deen.

When Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother initially took the decision to send him to madrasah to become an ‘Aalim, her relatives from Bombay came to her and attempted to convince her to keep him in school, especially as he was excelling and had achieved remarkable grades. They even said to her, “What will become of him when he is a Moulana? If you do not give him school education, how will he earn a livelihood? He will even be dependent on people for his roti!” To this, his mother replied, “If he studies Deen correctly, then Allah Ta‘ala will cause the world to fall at his feet.”

Moulana (rahimahullah) was once reading to his mother from a certain book when she spontaneously said, “O my son! Today, you are reading to me and only I am listening to you! Allah Ta‘ala will bring the day when hundreds of thousands of people will listen to you! I have no doubt regarding this!”

(Sawaanih Moulana Muhammad ‘Umar Paalanpuri (rahimahullah) pgs. 59-63 and Mithaali Khawaateen pgs. 271-273)

Lessons:

  1. Every parent has aspirations and dreams for their child, and they are prepared to make any sacrifice for their child’s sake. Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother was no different – however her dream was for her son to become an ‘Aalim of Deen, serving Islam and spreading the message of Allah Ta‘ala. For this purpose, she was even prepared to send her young son over a thousand kilometres away with his ustaaz, and even took a loan to fund his studies.
  2. When faced with the opposition of her family, Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother stood firm. She explained that if her son studied Deen correctly (i.e. he works with dedication and studies solely for the sake of pleasing Allah Ta‘ala – not for any other motive), then Allah Ta‘ala will most certainly look after him. In fact, the words that she used were ‘the world will fall at his feet’ – and this became a reality.
  3. Moulana’s (rahimahullah) mother wanted him to become an ‘Aalim so that he would become her investment in the Hereafter, and so that he could help her to improve her Deen. Hence, although he was the son and she was the mother, she would ask him to teach her and educate her regarding different aspects of Deen. This clearly highlights the level of her sincerity and her zeal for Deen.

WHEN SPOUSES CURSE – HAZRAT MAULANA YUNUS PATEL SAHEB (RAHMATULLAH ALAYH)

A husband complained that he was always angry with his wife, and they continuously argued.…

There are so many such cases: If it is not the husband complaining of his wife, it is the wife complaining of her husband.In this case, having been informed of the weaknesses of his wife, which are common to other women as well, I said: ‘I agree with you that there are weaknesses in women. However, there are also weaknesses in men. …Moreover, your anger is for worldly reasons. You are cursing your wife and inviting that same curse upon yourself.’

I then explained to him: ‘When you curse your wife on her defiance, non-compliance or her indifference to your rights, then ALLAH TA’ALA’S AZAAB descends upon her. When that punishment reaches her, she will not be the only who will suffer. As her husband, you too suffer. If she is afflicted with illness or meets up with some accident, the burden of expense falls upon you, as the husband. You will have to take care of her, and will also find difficulty in that she will not be able to see to you and the children, and the maintenance of the home, etc.

And if she has to curse you, she too will find herself in a situation of trial and difficulty. ’There are those women who have the bad habit of cursing their husbands and children – and generally this is due to impatience or frustration. Instead of turning to ALLAH TA’ALA and making Du’aa, they utter such words, which sometimes finds acceptance in the heavens, but becomes a source of great regret.It is due to this tendency of cursing and being ungrateful to spouses that RASULULLAAH (SALLALLAAHU ‘ALAYHI WASALLAM) directed WOMEN towards giving CHARITY and SEEKING FORGIVENESS.

Thus, when ALLAH TA’ALA punishes the husband or the child, then the wife or mother is left lamenting her plight. It may be that ALLAH TA’ALA accepts her curse, and in a fit of anger the husband divorces the wife, he loses his wife and children and she is left in dire circumstances as a divorcee; or it may be that ALLAH TA’ALA accepts the curse, and as such his entire business collapses. Then poverty becomes the lot of not just the husband, but also the wife who cursed, and the children. There are so many ways that curses are Divinely accepted.

ALHAMDULILLAAH, the husband explained the above to his wife and they both agreed that arguing and cursing was not the solution. Arguments are the cause of great satisfaction and joy to shaytaan, whose great effort is to destroy marriages. Arguments, in fact, indicate to shaytaan’s presence in our homes. It is the stepping stone to enmity between husband and wife, and can easily end up with divorce, a broken home and many other problems.

Who does not want a happy marriage? Who does not want Sukoon (tranquility) in marriage? However, to achieve this, some effort has to be made. We just have to train ourselves to adopt HILM (TOLERANCE) and SABR (PATIENCE) at times, and learn to curb the tendency to argue and fight – which is otherwise common even for the most petty reasons.

If we can all keep before us the following HADEETH and have YAQEEN and conviction on the words of RASULULLAAH (SALLALLAAHU ‘ALAYHI WASALLAM), many arguments would not even surface and there would be peace and tranquility:

“I guarantee a house in the middle of Paradise to the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.’