A SEPARATE HOME- A WIFE’S RIGHT

Q. I am faced with a dilemma and I’m hoping for your esteemed advice. In today’s day and age we hear from many Ulama that newly wed couples should stay separate from the husband’s parents. In our economically depressed country, what happens to youth who are newly graduated and just started working? Starting salaries are ridiculously low in our economy today.
What happens to young men such as myself? Young men who recently graduated, earning around R7000 as a starting salary in a company that increases salaries by a measly 8% a year and whose families can not afford to support a second household?
And the only way to make Nikaah is to stay with my parents for the first few years? To wait to earn a salary that is enough for a separate house will take many many years.
Are we advised and expected to wait until then to make Nikaah?
A. The Shariah has granted a woman the right to have her own private quarters to live where her in-laws may not intrude without her permission. Most in-laws labour under the impression that a daughter-in-law is a free maid. Innumerable marriages collapse and end in divorce due to incompatibility, dispute and enmity between the daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law.
If a woman is not prepared to marry a man who is unable to provide her a separate home, then no one can force her to marry that man. If she is agreeable to live with her in-laws, it is her choice. Hence, the issue is with the woman. If she insists on living separately, no one can compel her to stay with her in-laws.
Regardless of your urgent need to get married, you do not have the right nor the authority to demand that the woman lives with your parents, if she refuses. There is no one who can compel her. Such compulsion is haraam.
There is nothing the Ulama can do. They can not compel a woman to marry a man who is unable to provide her a separate home. If she of her own accord agrees to live with the in-laws, it is her own choice. If the woman is not prepared to live with her in-laws, she will be within the ambit of the Shariah. This is an issue which has to be decided between the parties before marriage. Whether to marry a man who is unable to provide a separate home or not to marry him, is the woman’s choice and right. No one can pressurize her to accept living with her in-laws. Such pressure is zulm.
Allah Ta’ala knows why He has granted her this right. In the vast majority of cases, mothers-in-law and even sisters-in-law subject the daughter-in-law to a reign of tyranny. Her life is regimented in her husband’s house. She can not claim that the house where she has to live is her home. Her freedom is vastly curtailed and tasks of others are imposed on her. The mother-in-law, like a hawk watches how she cooks, dresses, and packs her kitchen and bedroom cupboards. Her life becomes miserable under the dictation and domination of her in-laws. That is why Allah Ta’ala has bestowed to her the right of a separate home, entry into which may not be gained by the in-laws without her permission. Intrusion into her privacy is standard procedure in most homes where the daughter-in-law has to live with her in-laws.

HINDU ‘MENDHI’ PARTY TO CELEBRATE A NIKAH

A HARAAM, KUFR, HINDU ‘MENDHI’ PARTY TO CELEBRATE A NIKAH

It is indeed  terribly lamentable that in our community, last night (10 December 2021) a haraam, kufr, Hindu, so-called ‘mendhi’ party was organized to celebrate a nikah which is set  to be performed  tomorrow, Sunday 12 December 2021 at Musjidul Fuqara. 

The pictures, reproduced here, testify to the immorality and evil of the haraam party. Women smoking haraam hookah and gyrating to the beat of devil’s music, acquitted themselves like prostitutes. It is not possible for these vile women and the menfolk who supported them to be the repositories of valid Imaan. It is not possible for true Muslims to conduct themselves so flagrantly in violation of the Shariah. There was not the slightest vestige of fear for Allah Ta’ala in all those who have participated in this Hindu-style shaitaaniyat.

Let them understand well that whatever little Imaan they had, was last night obliterated by their indulgence in the kufr merry making, shaitaani stunt. If they are keen to be Muslims, it will be imperative for them to repent and renew their Imaan as well as their nikah. The indulgence was in kufr, for they all believed that the shaitaaniyat in which they had indulged is halaal. Only women with the tendencies of prostitutes can participate in such immoral, kufr parties. 

THE NIKAH WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PERFORMED AT MUSJIDUL FUQARA TOMORROW, 12 DECEMBER 2021, HAS BEEN CANCELLED. 

They should perform their nikah at the haraam venue where they had held their haraam, shaitaani, kufr party or at some weird musjid temple where the kufr protocols of the atheists are observed. We shall not allow the sanctity of the Musjid to be polluted with the performance of nikah for those whose very Imaan is dangling on a thread or perhaps entirely extinguished by their flagrant and reckless trampling on the Shariah of Allah Ta’ala.

See pictures: SMOKING HOOKAH

6 Jamaadil Ula 1443 – 11 December 2021

PARENTAL ISSUES INCLUDING IN-LAWS

Q. What are the rights of my mother-in-law? What duty do I have towards her.
A. A woman should respect her in-laws just as she has to respect all other Muslims. However, it is not compulsory on her to serve her mother-in-law although she will be rewarded if she does. The mother-in-law has no right of imposing work on her.

Q. Does a woman have to observe Purdah for her father-in-law?
A. It depends what is understood by Purdah. A daughter-in-law may appear in the presence of her father-in-law without niqaab and without burqah. However, she should be modestly dressed and not be alone with him. He is not an appropriate mahram for her on a journey. If she had not married his son, then he (the father-in-law) could have married her. This is sufficient to understand that the lust of the nafs is ever present, hence, she must be wary of her father-in-law. At most he may make musaafahah with her. However, if even handshaking creates desire in him, then shaking hands with her will be haraam. Too many cases of misdemeanour happen between women and their fathers-in-law. She should not provide any occasion which could entice her father-in-law.


Q. A father beat his 20 year old son. The son then hit his father with a glass jar causing him to bleed profusely. The mother called the ambulance and the police who arrested the son. He is now out on bail. The psychiatrist says that he has psychological problems. What should be said to the son? What does the Shariah say?
A. The shaitaani son should be warned that there is now the grave danger of him dying without Imaan. He must repent, fall at the feet of his father and cry profusely. He must implore his father to whip him and accept whatever punishment is meted out to him. What the psychiatrist says is Ibleesi nonsense. These psychiatrists are all agents of Iblees.

Q. A man asked his daughters to waive their rights of inheritance in favour of their mother. They agreed and signed the document given to them. Is this valid? Are their rights of inheritance cancelled by this agreement? The man says that a Mufti of the Jamiat gave such advice.
A. The agreement is baatil, baseless and haraam. It is not valid. The daughters retain their rights and they have to be paid their full shares of inheritance when their father dies. The mufti who had proffered this haraam advise is a true donkey. It is inconceivable that a man of Knowledge could ever have given such blatantly haraam advice.

Q. A father takes the wealth of his son on the basis of the Hadith: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” Is it permissible for a man to use, take or confiscate the wealth of his son on the basis of this Hadith?
A. The meaning of the Hadith is that the son should not act miserly towards his father. If his father is in need, he should support him without believing that he is rendering his father a favour. If the son refuses to support his needy father, then the father may take from his son’s wealth sufficient for his needs even without the son’s permission, but not more than the amount which suffices for his basic needs. Also, it is not expected of a son to act so callously as to abstain from using his wealth for not only the basic, but also for the comfort and pleasure of his father.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Your father is the centre Gate of Jannat (for the son).” However, despite the virtues of keeping the father happy and comfortable, and despite the huge superiority of the father over his son, the Hadith is not a licence for the father to take the son’s wealth. It is haraam for the father to take his son’s wealth on the basis of this Hadith. The father is entitled to only maintenance.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) had mentioned this Hadith to a son who despite having wealth was refusing to support his father.

Q. My husband and in-laws are cruel and unjust to me. Besides them not fulfilling the rights the Shariah has granted me, they make me slave for them. My husband mentally and sometimes physically abuses me. I am bearing all the injustice with Sabr. Some acquaintances say that it is stupidity to stay in this type of situation. They urge me to leave my husband and apply for annulment of the marriage. What is your advice. If I choose to bear the injustice is there any special reward for me by Allah Ta’ala?
A. You have asked a very intelligent question. Few women are really concerned with the thawaab (reward) for adopting Sabr. Know that for Sabr – for bearing the injustice and zulm of the husband – the Thawaab is so wonderful and so abundant that you may receive the status of a Shaheed (Martyr). While it is permissible to apply for annulment, there is nothing better than Sabr. The Qur’aan Majeed says: “Verily, Allah is with the Saabireen.”
Life on earth is short and full of trials. This world is the abode of test and trial. If you are able to bear the injustice with Sabr keeping the focus on Allah Ta’ala, then this will be the best option for both your dunya and the Aakhirah.

GIFTS FOR CHILDREN

Q. Please explain the issue of making gifts to one’s children during one’s lifetime. Is it necessary to give them all equal gifts? If a man wishes to distribute his estate to his heirs during his lifetime, must there be equality of gifts for males and females or may the rules of inheritance be adopted?
A. Regarding gifts for children during one’s lifetime, the rulings are as follows:
1) There should be equality of gifts for all children.
2) If there is a valid reason, a child may be preferred over the others, e.g. the one child requires clothing while the others do not.
3) If a child is insolent to his parents or has become a drug addict, he may be excluded from gifts.
4) If a particular child is much more in the service of his parents while the others are on their own, this child may be preferred over the others.
5) Regarding hastening miraath (inheritance) distribution, this is not valid. The idea of hastening inheritance distribution during one’s lifetime may not be used as a ruse for discriminating between sons and daughters. Allah Ta’ala has decreed Miraath for the period which follows death. It may therefore not be brought forward.

TAKEN FROM THE MAJLIS VOLUME 26 NUMBER 02

Should a woman change her name to her husband’s when she marries or keep her fathers/maiden name?

Question:

Should a woman change her name to her husband’s when she marries or keep her fathers/maiden name?

ANSWER:

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM

10 Safar 1431 (26-01-2010)

Respected Brother,

Your e-mail pertaining to the maiden name of a woman refers.

While there is no Shar’i incumbency for a woman to adopt the surname of her husband, it is not prohibited. There is also no Shar’i incumbency on a woman to go through a kaafir legal process and spend a large sum of money to have her adoptive (husband’s surname) changed.

In this era, more especially in non-Muslim countries where we live, a woman takes to her husband’s surname merely as a convenience in the same way as we make use of the Christian calendar. In fact, it is haraam to expunge the Islamic calendar. It is Waajib for Muslims to keep alive the Islamic calendar. Many important Shar’i masaa-il are linked to the Islamic calendar. Yet most Muslims even the anonymous author calling for the compulsory cancellation of the husband’s surname, do not use the Islamic dates.

Non-Arab Muslims all over the world from the very early epoch of Islam did not adopt the Arab custom of naming themselves , e.g. Abdullah Ibn Muhammad ibn so and so…, despite the fact that it was Rasulullah’s style and the style of the Sahaabah. There is no incumbency to adopt an Arab style which the Shariah does not impose on us.

If we are going to write only Islamic dates on cheques and other legal documents in the kuffaar country, it will create serious problems. Despite Islamic dates being Waajib, circumstances constrain us to adopt the Christian calendar. In a single city there may be 10 families, all having the same surname, e.g. Ahmad, since Ahmed was their father. In every Ahmed family there is a Maryam, Aisha, Faatimah, etc. Every Maryam thus is ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed’. We have therefore ten women with the name ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed’. Now when one of them dies, if it is announced only that Maryam Binti Ahmad has passed away, no one will know to whom the reference is made. Thus, circumstances constrain us to say: “The Maryam Binti Ahmed died who is the wife of Abdullah Qaasim. Instead of saying or writing on the notice board, ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed, the wife of Abdullah Qaasim, there is no Shar’i restriction to stating the same long sentence in an abbreviated form such as ‘Maryam Qaasim’. Everyone in the town/neighbourhood will know exactly who this particular Maryam who has died is.

Instead of each time when there is a need, to say “Aishah Binti Abdullah, the wife of Husain Patel”, the abbreviation, Aishah Patel is used. This merely conveys the information that Aishah is Husain Patel’s wife, and nothing more. If ‘Aishah’ Patel’ is haraam, then saying ‘Aishah is the wife of Husain Patel’ will likewise be haraam. But just as this is drivel, so too is the former drivel.

With regard to the wife adopting the husband’s surname, it was never ‘eagerness to copy the West’ which led to this. Copying the West on this issue is the furthest from the minds of Muslims, even modernist Muslims. Yes, dress-styles, eating from tables, with knives and forks, shaving the beard, kuffaar hair styles and many other practices which Muslims have adopted are undoubtedly in imitation of the kuffaar West, hence haraam.

It is a pity that the writer of the article has selected to remain anonymous. If he reveals himself then we could direct a number of questions to him to ascertain the degree of his adoption of western life styles. From the style of his writing and thinking it is almost certain that he is a Salafi. If so, then his permanent practice will be to strut around with a bare head in public. They don’t believe in Rasulullah’s headgear. Salafis have adopted the western haraam practice of shunning headgear. Another salient practice of almost all Salafis is to dress exactly like kuffaar with jeans, T-shirts and the like. While they turn a blind eye to such haraam, futile and destructive practices which they have copied from the West, they harp on non-issues which have been adopted for convenience without the intention of emulating the west.

It is not contended that Islam requires a woman to change her name at marriage. By the same token, Islam does not prohibit a woman from adopting her husband’s surname. The imagined prohibition is a figment of someone’s mind. While there may be “nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that a woman should take her husband’s name after she gets married”, there is also nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that we should ride or not ride in cars and planes, and use or not use phones and adopt and use or not the innumerable amenities and practices which have become part of life. Is there anything in the Sunnah to indicate that Muslims should not wear headgear and strut around in public with bear heads like the kuffaar?

The absence of an indication in the Sunnah is not a principle for prohibition. There are principles in Fiqah – in the Shariah – on which the ahkaam are formulated. Wildly fluctuating personal opinion has no share in formulating Shar’i rulings.

Adopting the husband’s surname was simply not a practice among the Arabs. This is not a basis for prohibition. The objector should produce a Shar’i daleel for prohibition.

When a woman adopts her husband’s surname, she is not concealing her lineage. She is not denying that a certain man is her father. The entire community is fully aware of her lineage. Her lineage is not lost by adopting her husband’s surname.

The Qur’aanic verse cited by the anonymous objector has no reference to a woman adopting her husband’s surname. It pertains to an adopted child. In this regard there is an imperative need to retain and publicize the adopted child’s surname to avoid confusion. If this is not done, the child could end up marrying his own sister or sister marrying her own brother. Since concealing the child’s lineage leads to confusion, deception and possible haraam, it is essential to declare the child’s lineage. But there is no such concealment and confusion in the case of a woman adopting her husband’s surname.

The adoption of the husband’s surname is not motivated by any idea of ‘honour’. It is simply an issue of convenience like the adoption of the Christian calendar, nor is it an expression of love as the objector reads into the issue.

While originally she is the daughter of so and so, we shall go further and say that she forever remains the daughter of so and so. But, at the same time she has become the wife of so and so. There is no prohibition in saying that she is the wife of so and so. This is the reality.

When her husband dies or she is divorced and marries another man, what Shar’i prohibition is there to prevent her from taking the new surname? This question of the objector is superfluous.

The rulings to which the objector refers, are not attached to her name as he alleges. The rulings are related to her physical being. Her name change brings no change to the rulings pertaining to inheritance, her mahram, etc. Everything remains exactly the same despite her assumption of her husband’s surname. It is palpably drivel to say that “taking her husband’s name overlooks all that”. It overlooks nothing at all.

The claim: “Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife’s father.” , is erroneous. The husband has much which makes him better than her father with regard to her. After marriage, her greater obedience shifts from her parents to her husband. In relation to the wife, the husband has greater say and authority over her than her father. She is subservient to her husband to a far greater degree than to her father. Now when her entire being is subordinate to her husband, what wrong is there if her name too becomes subordinate to her husband? What Shar’i argument is there to prohibit the subordination of her name?

The fact that we shall be called by our father’s name in the Hereafter is no prohibition for adopting the husband’s surname. Some prohibited things in this world will become permissible in Jannat. And, some permissible things of the Hereafter are prohibited for us here in this world.

The argument of the objector is without merit. It is permissible for a woman to adopt her husband’s name. Such adoption is devoid of emulation of the West or any other haraam factor. And Allah knows best.

Was-salaam

A.S. Desai

For

Mujlisul Ulama of S.A..


O Allah, make us the ones who guide aright & are guided aright, who are neither misguided nor do they lead others astray. At peace with Your friends, at war with Your enemies. Loving with Your love those who You love. Despising with Your antagonism those of Your creatures who oppose You. O Allah, this is the supplication & it is up to You to grant it. This is the effort & the reliance is on You.

Muslim women resemble pearls and Americans are mere prostitutes.

American writer Joanna Francis says:
Muslim women resemble pearls and Americans are mere prostitutes.
 
The American writer and journalist Joanna Francis expressed admiration for Muslim women, reminding them of their strength, beauty, decency and happiness.

The author noted in an article entitled:
“If you are curious about having sex before marriage,”
Muslim women lead a normal life, as women have always lived since the beginning of life.

Joanna Francis criticized American women and life in the West.
“Everything comes from Hollywood but a collection of lies, a distortion of truth, smoke and mirrors.
They view sex as natural as an indestructible entertainment because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of societies by directing them to their audiovisual programs.

She called on Muslim writers not to follow foreigners in their way of thinking and to stay away from anything related to the West.
“They will try to entice you with the tapes and music that tickle your bodies, with us falsely portraying us as happy and satisfied and proud of our dress that is like a prostitute and convinced that we have no families.
In fact most women are not happy, believe me.
Millions of us take antidepressant drugs, we hate our actions and weep at night.

They want to destroy your families and try to persuade you to have a few children. They do this by portraying marriage as a form of slavery, that motherhood is a curse, and that decency and purity are obsolete.
They want but rejection and loss of faith.
They are like a snake who seduced Eve with an apple, so don’t bite off. ”

In the same vein, the American writer believes that the dress of Muslim women modest is more attractive than any Western costume, because, according to them, surrounded by ambiguity, respect and confidence, saying that the sex appeal of women should be protected from trivial eyes, and this attraction should be the gift of women to the man who He loves and respects her for the purpose of marriage, likening Muslim women to precious gems. “
In my eyes you are as precious gems, pure gold or “high value pearl”.

Joanna Francis warned Muslim women not to imitate the West, saying:
“I noticed that some Muslim women go beyond the borders and try to imitate the West as much as possible and even wear the hijab (showing some of their feelings).
Why should we imitate women who regret their lost virtue or will soon lose it?
There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Do not allow them to cheat on you and turn you into worthless stones, because all you see in Western fashion magazines and Western television are lies.
It is the trap of Satan or Satan.
It is a false gold. ”
She added:
“But we American women have tricked us into making us believe that we will be happier with jobs, owning our own homes and living alone, and the freedom to give love to anyone we choose… this is not freedom, nor is it love. A woman’s body and heart feel safe by giving love only within the marital safe haven. Do not settle for anything less, and the matter is not worth it otherwise, and you will not like it, but will not be satisfied with yourself later.

The American writer concluded by saying:
“My sisters don’t be deceived, don’t let them deceive you, and keep women chaste and clean. We Christians need to see life as it should be for women. We need you to set an example for us because we got lost. If you stick to your purity, remember that toothpaste cannot be returned inside the tube.
Therefore, women should take care of this paste with care. ”

http://boughrara-news.blogspot.com/2013/08/blog-post_3643.html?m=1

RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND DO NOT GIVE RISE TO BARBARISM

THE RIGHTS OF THE HUSBAND DO NOT GIVE RISE TO BARBARISM AND ANIMALISM

A Sister in distress on account of her husband’s inordinate sexual demands, writes:

“I’ve been having some problems with regard to the conjugal aspect of marriage. It’s been getting worse and so I decided to seek some advice. I have a low desire whereas my husband’s is much higher. The very first time was a very painful experience and I feel that it’s what messed things up. For days afterwards I suffered a bad urinary tract infection, and that has been a recurring occurrence till now, almost 6 years later. I get an infection almost every month or so. According to a doctor, some women are just more prone to these infections and there’s nothing I can do to completely prevent it.

Nevertheless, I went along with what my husband wanted – relations everyday, every second day. Most of the time I wasn’t in the mood for it but I didn’t object, even if it was more than once a day. This was until I gave birth to our first child. I needed to be stitched up afterwards and that took some time to heal.

Throughout the 40 days after baby was born my husband kept asking if my nifaas had ended. It only ended at 40 days and even then I still bled for another 2-3 weeks. As soon as the 40 days had ended my husband wanted to have relations. I was hesitant as I felt that my body had not yet fully healed from giving birth. But I gave in and it was extremely painful and I just had to bear it. For the next few months I did avoid him as much as possible. It took about a year for my body to stop experiencing pain where I had gotten stitches.

After the second baby, it was a similar experience except that he waited until I had completely stopped bleeding. Again it took a year to stop experiencing pain. It’s been almost 8 months now since the birth of our third baby and things are no different. I still experience a lot of pain during and afterwards for a couple of days. But I try my best to see to his needs once a week. I simply cannot manage more than that.

Sometimes we’re not at home which means that we sleep together with the children and in my understanding it’s not correct to have relations with even sleeping children around especially where they can easily see if they happen to wake up. But my husband doesn’t seem to understand that and says I’m just making excuses.

Yes, it is very difficult to put myself there knowing that I’m not going to get anything out of it except pain but I try, even though I’m never in the mood due to being exhausted after seeing to the house and kids all day without him helping me and fearing the pain. And he knows but doesn’t care about it as long as I meet his demands he is fine. If I refuse he flies into a terrible rage.
Even when I injured my hip joint giving birth to my second baby, my husband did not give me a break to heal. Through my 3rd pregnancy the hip was troubling and I felt awful, but all he kept talking about was his rights and that I am duti-bound to fulfil his rights. Does a wife not have any rights in these circumstances when she is sick, tired or in pain, etc.? I am in desperate need of advice and help? If Moulana can give some advice on what can I do, it will be much appreciated.” (End of the Sister’s letter)

This is not the first letter of its kind received by us. It is not the second nor the tenth letter. We have received innumerable similar letters seeking advice regarding the inordinate demands of the husbands for sexual gratification regardless of the ill-health of their wives. Husbands invariably justify their callous demands by brandishing the whip of Huqooq or Rights which the Shariah has granted them, and also by the emphasis on the wife’s subservience stated by Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) in many Ahaadith.

While the Rights of the husband are in place and correct, and while the wife’s subservience to her husband is correct and necessary, callousness, cruelty and injustice are never within the scope of the husband’s Huqooq. The idea of having an unfettered right to even torture the wife is a satanic deception. Rights do not give rise to barbarism and animalism.

The husband’s attitude as depicted in the letter is crass barbarism befitting only donkeys and pigs. It is haraam for the husband to injure his wife on the pretext of him having such a right – the hallucinated right of excessive indulgence in sexual gratification regardless of the condition and health of his wife.

In the type of circumstances experienced by wives as explained in this letter, the solution is a second wife. The husband should take a second wife, and his first wife should support him since she is unable to satisfy his inordinate cravings.

Furthermore, husbands should understand that the consequences of excessive indulgence in sex are harmful. It brings about physical and spiritual ruin. In later life, husbands of the type described in the letter will suffer serious health problems, and long before the physical harms become manifest, they will become spiritually depleted. Moderation in all spheres of worldly life is an imperative command of the Shariah.

16 Safar 1443 – 24 September 2021

Bursting the Bubble​

As exhausted as she was, she put in the extra effort. “Never mind if I’m tired, I’ll do it for my hubby,” she thought to herself. She wore attractive clothing and jewellery, applied perfume, prepared his favourite meal and dessert and even lit candles, hoping to please her husband by making it a ‘special evening’. Sadly, as soon as he entered, let alone appreciate and admire, and let alone a simple smile and a hug – he didn’t even spare her a second glance! He walked in, glued to his phone, absolutely oblivious to the loving wife who had eagerly awaited him all day. At that moment, her bubble burst and her heart was broken…

After reading the above, most people would be quick to condemn the husband’s behaviour and classify him as insensitive, callous and uncaring. Now, consider the following:

“Mommy! You know what aapa told us today?” Faatimah excitedly exclaimed as she ran in from madrasah. “Not now Faatimah! I’m busy!” her mother snapped while frantically typing on her phone.

“Daddy! See what I made for you with my blocks!” Muhammad said, hopping with happiness. “Can’t you see that I’m on the phone?” his father scolded in irritation.

In all the cases above, a person turned to someone that they love, hoping and expecting to receive warmth, love, attention and acceptance, and were instead brushed off abruptly and painfully ignored. Just as a wife feels hurt when her husband treats her indifferently, children similarly feel hurt when their parents treat them in this way. If the husband is guilty, the parents are also guilty and deserving of condemnation.

In such a child’s eyes, his parents love their phones more than him as they cannot even put it down for a few minutes to give him attention and love. When the child sees that his parents have bonded with their phones more than with him, it is unsurprising that he develops a fascination with the phone and also wishes to acquire one to bond with. If it is not the phone occupying the parents, then regardless of what it is, it causes hurt and pain to the child – especially when it happens on a continuous basis.

As fathers and mothers, we need to understand that parenting is not an eight-to-five occupation where we can knock off for the day, thereafter ignoring all responsibilities of the work place until the next morning. As parents, we can never feel, “I gave my children enough attention today, now it’s my turn to relax and I do not want them to disturb me or bother me.” We are on duty 24/7, and whenever our children come to us, we must show them warmth, love and attention. Failing to do so creates a serious complex in the child, affecting their emotional wellbeing and causing them to develop a dangerous craving for attention.

When the wife is displeased with her husband for ignoring her, then due to her intelligence and age, she will be able to express herself with words or even tears. In the case of the child, he does not know how to communicate his need via words. Instead, when he desperately craves the attention and love of his parents, he looks for other ways to gain it – or he will seek the love from outsiders.

Children are simple souls and do not understand diplomacy and tact. If a child wants a toy from another child, he will often snatch it without thinking twice. Likewise, when the parents do not give the child the attention that he wants, he tries to ‘snatch’ it from them. This often manifests in the form of naughty behaviour such as breaking things, tantrums, etc., as the child knows no other way to draw his parents’ attention. 

How sad that the child has to resort to this behaviour simply to make his parents look at him!

Unfortunately, this plan backfires. The child is given attention – but in the form of scolding, punishment, etc., and this further entrenches the complex and craving within the child. The parents then lament and complain about the behaviour of their children, failing to realise that it is actually a shout for help from a child who is starving for love and knows no other way to express himself.

The next time our child comes to us, even if it may be to show us a flower they picked in the garden, or a ‘picture’ that they scribbled with crayons, or to tell us something silly that their friend told them, or to show us their toy, let us not burst their bubble and break their hearts. Let us take out a few moments to give them our undivided love and attention. 

uswatulmuslimah.co.za

A MADRASAH APA’S LAMENT

A MADRASAH APA’S LAMENT
“I have seen in The Majlis your criticism of girls madrasahs. I have recently started at girls madressa and have experienced many ups and downs.
I hated the fact that there was no spirituality at my madressa, everyone spoke about birthdays. Proper Islamic dress code was not enforced, not even by the seniors. The male teachers would talk directly to the females even though from behind a screen. The conversation was not about work. During Ramadhaan there was no time allocated for ibaadat or so on. It really bothered me. I felt as though the little spirituality that I had worked so hard on was dying. Then I also had a friend who had disturbed my peace. As much as we were friends we were just not good for each other. We would engage in idle talk, despite both our efforts to be better Muslims. I then decided to rather leave madressa so that I could attend to my house and my husband and my family. I had hoped that I could continue learning at home, but it was very difficult. I left madressa for about 2 months and after not learning much I started to feel bad, so I decided to return to madressa. It’s been one week since I’m back. I love learning but I still don’t feel content with being at the madressa. It feels like it takes up too much of my time that could be spent doing other things for my home and ultimately for my Aakhirah. Please advise.” (End of the Apa’s lament)
OUR ADVICE

Just get out of the madrasah and stay at home where Allah Ta’ala wants you to be. Life is short. Maut stalks us at every moment. Don’t waste your time at these worldly, deceptive girls madrasahs. Shaitaan has carved out these institutions to divert Muslims from the Deen and to ruin the Haya of Muslim women. The only place for a Muslim woman is her home. You will gain the status of shahaadat by remaining at home occupied in your domestic duties.

FROM THE MAJLIS VOLUME 26 NUMBER 01

WOMEN AND DRIVING

Q. Will it be permissible for my wife to learn driving? In times of emergency her driving could save a life. She will drive only if ever an emergency develops. Is there any scope in the Shariah for her to learn to drive?


A. There is no such scope. The argument of ‘emergency’ is shaitaani deception. There are thousands of men and women where you live, who do not own cars and who cannot drive. There are billions of men and women on earth who cannot drive and who do not own vehicles. What will they do in times of emergency? And, what will happen during an emergency if the engine malfunctions and the car does not start? What will happen in an emergency if your wife is not present, and what will happen during the imaginary emergency if your wife is bedridden? There are numerous mishaps which could develop during the hallucinated emergency which could prevent your wife and even yourself from driving the vehicle. The problem is that due to Imaani deficiency and engrossment in the dunya, people are forgetful of Allah Ta’ala. They lack tawakkul (trust) in entirety , hence shaitaan adorns for them negative thinking and mirages. A Muslim should not be negative in his thinking and attitude. Daily make dua for aafiyat (protection). Be obedient to Allah Ta’ala, then Insha-Allah, there will be no such emergencies for which there will be no arrangement. Muslims should not be like the kuffaar whose brains gravitate to haraam and najaasat for fulfilment of needs. Just for acquiring a driving licence a woman has to subject herself to zina. How can a husband ever tolerate the pillaging of his wife’s haya and purdah? Only a dayyooth is bereft of ghairah (honour). Supplicate to Allah Ta’ala and stay far away from whatever the Shariah has forbidden. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Whatever is by Allah is obtainable only by way of obedience.”

FROM THE MAJLIS VOLUME 26 NUMBER ONE

FOR MORE ON THIS SUBJECT SEE THIS ALSO FROM THE MAJLIS: https://jaalhaque.com/2020/01/27/women-in-the-driving-seat/

COVID KUFR

COVID KUFR
Q. A person takes a Covid test. The test shows positive. Either they are symptomatic or asymptomatic. There are 4 questions that arise:
(A) They, in accordance with government guidelines, isolate for the stated period in the belief of indiscriminate contagion. What is the state of such a person’s Imaan and Nikah?
(B) Some argue, that Islam teaches us to take reasonable precautions and this constitutes a reasonable precaution. This in reality is a disingenuous argument to cover for their belief in contagion contrary to the explicit teaching of Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. What is the state of such a person’s Imaan and Nikah?
(C) Persons in above 2 categories then tell others that they should test themselves and isolate if need be. In other words they are pushing their ideology on to others. How should a Muslim deal with such requests which are constant? (D) There are many “Muslims” who hold such beliefs. Does this mean a whole swathe of them exit the fold of Islam? I would appreciate if you would kindly address each question specifically.


A. 1) If the isolation is self-imposed, not forced by the zaalim government , and if this person has been informed that disease is not contagious, then his belief based on what the atheists inform him, is kufr. He should renew his Imaan as well as his Nikah.
2) While Islam advises laymen such as us to adopt reasonable, lawful precautions, it NEVER advises adoption of kufr. Kufr is not a precaution. It is satanism. If these protocols of the atheists are valid precautions, Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and the Sahaabah would have adopted same on the command of Allah Ta’ala. However, the Qur’aan and Sunnah emphatically negate these acts of shaitaan being precautions. Please read the numerous articles and booklets we have published on this subject. All are available on our website.
3) Their ideology and advice to others are kufr with the same consequences mentioned in No.1 above.
4) Most certainly it “means that a whole swathe of them exit the fold of Islam.” And, this is not surprising because Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) had predicted this type of kufr which cancels Imaan. Hadhrat Abdullah Bin Amr (Radhiyallahu anhu) narrated the following Hadith:
“An age will dawn when the people will gather in their Musaajid and perform Salaat whilst not a single one will be a Mu’min.”

THE MAJLIS VOLUME 26 NUMBER O01