Marital Dynamics in Islam: Obedience Towards the Husband

By Umm Khalid -June 26, 2022

If you are a woman who dislikes the idea that a wife should follow and obey her husband, my question to you is this:
Do you dislike it because you dislike the entire concept of obedience and followership in general; and because you believe that a woman’s role in the family should be one of independence and leadership? (So you dislike the very concept of hierarchy in any form and believe only in an egalitarian marriage.)
Simply put, do you feel that you shouldn’t have to follow or obey anyone?
Do you agree with the idea of obedience towards, and following of, the husband? And is it that you don’t think a specific husband should be obeyed or followed if he’s unable to lead due to incompetence? (So you essentially agree with traditional roles within a marriage and believe the husband should be the leader, and you do not want an egalitarian marriage.)
In basic terms, do you feel fine about following the lead of a husband if he is a strong, upright and competent man?
State your position in the comments along with your reasoning. Keep the discussion respectful and civil, please! We are all believers in Allah and the Last Day.
RELATED: In Islam, Husbands Are Leaders. Wives Must Follow
The word “obedient” has become extremely misunderstood and stigmatized. This is to the extent that, whenever the term is mentioned, it has become necessary to define it even for our fellow Muslims والله المستعان.
I didn’t make this word up folks.
It’s not “cultural bias” or “the patriarchy” or “misogyny” either.
RELATED: The False Teachings of the Feminist Dogma
We find this in the Qur’an and ahadith:
فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ…
“…so righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard…” (Surat An-Nisa’, 34)
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قِيلَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَىُّ النِّسَاءِ خَيْرٌ قَالَ ‏ “‏ الَّتِي تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ وَتُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَ وَلاَ تُخَالِفُهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهَا بِمَا يَكْرَهُ.
Abu Hurayrah narrates that it was said to the Messenger of Allah : ‘Which woman is best?’
He said: ‘The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.’”
Of course, we must clarify and make it very clear that there is no obedience to a created being wherein disobedience to the Creator is entailed.
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق
لا طَاعَةَ في مَعْصِيَةٍ، إنَّما الطَّاعَةُ في المَعروفِ.
NOTE: To further understand the limitations and guidelines on what obedience to the husband entails, please read the following: Are Wives Responsible for Housework in Islam?

Nikaah – A Fortress from Fitnah

Allah Ta‘ala is the Creator of man, and Allah Ta‘ala understands man the best. Allah Ta‘ala knows all the needs of man, from the biggest and most obvious need, to the smallest and most subtle of needs, and out of His infinite mercy and grace, Allah Ta‘ala has provided for all of man’s needs.

For example, man has the need for food and drink. If man does not eat and drink, he will suffer starvation and dehydration, ultimately leading to his death. Hence, Allah Ta‘ala has provided man with various types of food and drink through which he can fulfill his need. However, when Allah Ta‘ala is most pure, then He made Islam a Deen of purity, and He made Jannah the abode of those who are pure. Hence, when fulfilling his needs, man cannot consume anything and everything, according to his wishes and desires, but may only consume that which is pure and halaal.

In the very same way, one of the needs of man is the need to fulfill his carnal desires. In this case as well, Allah Ta‘ala has provided man with a pure avenue to fulfill this need – and this is the avenue of nikaah. If man fulfills this need in accordance with the commands of Allah Ta‘ala, it will safeguard his Deen and aid him in gaining admission into Jannah, but if he fulfills his desires by violating the commands of Allah Ta‘ala through engaging in zina and illicit relationships, then he will be paving the path to his destruction.

In one hadeeth, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) emphasized that the fitnah (trial and sin) of falling into zina and illicit relationships is among the most severe and dangerous of fitnahs that this Ummah will face. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “I did not leave after me any fitnah (trial) that is more harmful to men than (the fitnah of) women.” (Saheeh Bukhaari #5096)

In this day and age, we find that immorality, shamelessness, obscene behaviour and lewdness has become the order of the day. From the billboards scattered along the highways to the packaging wrapped around soap bars – with every passing day, it becomes increasingly difficult for a believer to protect his or her chastity, purity and imaan as he is bombarded, from every direction, with temptations to haraam.

In this regard, there is no solution more effective in safeguarding a person’s Deen and chastity than nikaah. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “When a person gets married, he has completed half of (his) Deen, so he should fear Allah Ta‘ala in the remaining half.” (Shu‘abul Imaan #5100)

Imaam Ghazaali (rahimahullah) has explained that generally, a person’s Deen is damaged either on account of the temptations and fitnahs relating to his private part, or the temptations and fitnahs related to his belly (i.e. greed for wealth, etc.). Through performing nikaah and getting married, a person has been sufficed against one of the two dangers (i.e. lust and the sins of the private part). (Mirqaat vol. 6, pg. 275)

When a person is in his youth, his body is bubbling with energy, strength and passion, and hence this is the period of his life when he is most at risk of falling into zina and the sins of the private parts. Thus, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) once addressed a group of youth saying, “O group of youth! Whichever one of you has the ability to get married (i.e. support a wife, etc.), then he should get married, as marriage will assist him in lowering his gaze and protecting his private part. The one who is unable (to get married) should hold firmly onto fasting, as it will assist him in subduing his desires.” (Saheeh Bukhaari #5066)

Therefore, we understand that as soon as a person has the need and means to perform nikaah, he should not delay. If nikaah is unnecessarily delayed, then the inevitable outcome will be that boys and girls will commence illicit relationships which will eventually culminate in fornication. This will lead to the entire society being spoiled and corrupted, as the prevalence of fornication will cause hayaa and righteousness to become extinct. If hayaa is lost, imaan itself will be in grave danger, as mentioned in the hadeeth.

Hence, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) urged the Ummah to refrain from delaying the nikaah saying, “If a boy whose Deen and character are pleasing to you proposes (for your daughter, sister, etc.) then you should get her married to him. If you do not do so, (and delay in getting her married,) then widespread corruption will occur in the land.” (Sunan Tirmizi #1084)

Thus, if any person faces the threat and danger of falling into sins of lust, then he must try to get married. When a person gets married out of the concern and worry to protect his imaan, then Allah Ta‘ala becomes so pleased with him that Allah Ta‘ala provides him with His special help and assistance. Hence, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Three people are such that Allah Ta‘ala has taken it upon Himself to assist them; (they are) the mujaahid (fighting) in the path of Allah Ta‘ala, the mukaatab slave who intends to pay (i.e. the slave whose master tells him that if he earns a certain amount of money and pays it to the master, he will be free), and the one who gets married in order to safeguard his chastity.” (Sunan Tirmizi #1655)

If we are parents with children, then we should instill the qualities of responsibility into them and ensure that by the time they are of marriageable age, they are capable of managing a household. Thereafter, if we have the means then we should get them married. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) mentioned, “The person who has a child should ensure that he gives him a good name and teaches him good manners and etiquette. When he becomes baaligh (i.e. reaches puberty), then he should get him married. If he becomes baaligh and the father does not get him married, and he thereafter commits sin, then the sin will be upon the father (i.e. the father will also share in the sin).” (Shu‘abul Imaan #8299)

From the above, we understand that nikaah is not only the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), it is also necessary for one to remain pure and chaste and safeguard himself from sin and fitnah.

May Allah Ta‘ala assist us all to remain pure and chaste and protect us from temptation and sin, aameen.

Domestic Violence in the West

At a time when the hostile media is incessant in its attempts to defame and ridicule Islam and the muslim woman, to portray her as oppressed and abused, the following facts should be enough to prove that the disbelieving nations are more worthy of the accusations they throw at others.

“They Don’t Treat Their Women Very Well”
An American Woman married to a Muslim man writes: I can’t tell you how many times I heard that phrase, over and again, from well-meaning friends, when they found out I was going marry a *gasp!* Muslim! I was also warned that he was just marrying me for a green card. To add insult injury, when I was planning a trip to Pakistan with my baby and to meet my husband’s family, I heard all the “Not Without My Daughter” horror stories. “Aren’t you afraid they’ll try to take your baby?” I would ask, who do you mean by “they?” The Government of Pakistan? The general populace? My husband’s family? Are you telling me that my husband’s family exists to totally screw me over and take my son? People have always been afraid of what they don’t understand. To make things worse, the perception of Muslims and Islam in western society has been totally skewed by movies and the media.
“Glass Houses”. We all know the adage, “People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.” When you hear someone say something to the effect that “muslims don’t treat their women well,” then it’s time to say, “Oh, and Americans do?” Here are some statistics on spousal (or significant other) abuse, murder, and rape that men commit against their women partners, here in America, in the twenty-first century.
MURDER . Every day four women die in this country as a result of domestic violence, the euphemism for murders and assaults by husbands and boyfriends. That’s approximately 1,400 women a year, according to the FBI. The number of women who have been murdered by their intimate partners is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War.
BATTERING . Although only 572,000 reports of assault by intimates are officially reported to federal officials each year, the most conservative estimates indicate two to four million women of all races and classes are battered each year. At least 170,000 of those violent incidents are serious enough to require hospitalization, emergency room care or a doctor’s attention.
SEXUAL ASSAULT . Every year approximately 132,000 women report that they have been victims of rape or attempted rape, and more than half of them knew their attackers. It’s estimated that two to six times that many women are raped, but do not report it. Every year 1.2 million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partners, some more than once.
THE TARGETS . Women are 10 times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate. Young women, women who are separated, divorced or single, low- income women and African-American women are disproportionately victims of assault and rape. Domestic violence rates are five times higher among families below poverty levels, and severe spouse abuse is twice as likely to be committed by unemployed men as by those working full time. Violent attacks on lesbians and gay men have become two to three times more common than they were prior to 1988.
IMPACT ON CHILDREN . Violent juvenile offenders are four times more likely to have grown up in homes where they saw violence. Children who have witnessed violence at home are also five times more likely to commit or suffer violence when they become adults.
IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SOCIAL SERVICES . Women who are battered have more than twice the health care needs and costs than those who are never battered. Approximately 17 percent of pregnant women report having been battered, and the results include miscarriages, stillbirths and a two to four times greater likelihood of bearing a low birth weight baby. Abused women are disproportionately represented among the homeless and suicide victims. Victims of domestic violence are being denied insurance in some states because they are considered to have a “pre-existing condition.”
“Violence Against Women: A National Crime Victimization Survey Report”, U.S. Department of Justice, Washington, D.C., January 1994.
“The National Women’s Study,” Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, Medical University of South Carolina, Charleston, SC, 1992.
“Five Issues In American Health,” American Medical Association, Chicago, 1991.
Bullock, Linda F. and Judith McFarlane, “The Birth Weight/Battering Connection,” Journal of American Nursing, September 1989.
McFarlane, Judith, et. al., “Assessing for Abuse During Pregnancy,” Journal of the American Medical Association, June 17, 1992.
Federal Bureau of Investigation statistics, 1992.
Sheehan, Myra A. “An Interstate Compact on Domestic Violence: What are the Advantages?” Juvenile and Family Justice Today, 1993.
Sherman, Lawrence W. et al. Domestic Violence: Experiments and Dilemmas, 1990.

* Domestic Violence accounts for a quarter of all reported violent crime. [Working Party Report, Victim Support, 1992]
* Each year 100,000 women seek treatment in London for violent injuries caused in their homes.
[Punching Judy, BBC TV Documentary, 1989]
* Domestic Violence is not limited to physical assault. It includes sexual abuse and mental cruelty which undermine a woman’s self-esteem. [McGibbon and Kelly, “Abuse of Women in the Home”, 1989]
* Research conducted by Police found that 2/3 of all men believed that they would respond violently to their partners in certain situations. [Islington Council, 1994]
* Almost half of all murders of women are killings by current or former partners. [National Working Party Report on Domestic Violence, Victim Support, 1992]

From OASIS – “Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, and Shelter”. You can visit their website. Adapted from the American Bar Association.
Every day 4 women are **murdered** by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-boyfriends after reported abuse.
An estimated 2 to 6 million women are battered annually in the USA.
Battering is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15-44.
One out of four pregnant women are battered. The battering may start or excalate during pregnancy.
Medical expenses from Domestic Violence total at least $3 billion annually and businesses lose another $100 million in sick leave, absenteeism and productivity.
One out of 7 girls is abused by her boyfriend, and many will be abused by their husbands.
Every Day four women are murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-boyfriends after reported abuse.
Courtship violence is wide-spread and underreported by both men and women. 30% of High School students have experienced physical or sexual violence in dating relationships. 37% of Men and 35% of Women have inflicted some form of physical aggression on their dating partners.
Women sustained more injuries than men, and they were two to three times more likely to experience unwanted sexual intercourse.
95% of violent crime on Campus is alcohol or drug related.
37% of the assailants and 55% of victims of rape had used alcohol or other drugs.
Husbands and boyfriends commit 13,000 acts of violence against women in the workplace every year (United States Department of Justice, 1994).
Over 1.7 million women were physically abused in 1995 by their male partners, one every 12 seconds (Federal Bureau of Investigation).
There were approximently 4.5 million violent crimes against women in 1992 and 1993. (The Justice Department recognizes that this is an under-estimation of domestic violence and violence against women). (Bureau of Justice Statistics’ National Crime Victimization Survey).
50% of all women will be involved in some type of abusive relationship in their life time. We could be talking about your daughters, your mothers, your wives, your girlfriends.
30% of High School students have experienced physical or sexual violence in dating relationships.
37% of men and 35% of women have inflicted some form of physical aggression with their dating partners.
For every 1 rape that IS reported, 10 are NOT reported.
By the most conservative estimate, each year 1 million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey (NCJ-154348), August 1995, p. 3.)
Other estimates suggest that 4 million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during an average 12-month period. (American Psychl. Ass’n. Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family (1996), p. 10.)
Nearly 1 in 3 adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. (American Psychl. Ass’n. Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family (1996), p. 10.)
In 1993, approximately 575,000 men were arrested for committing violence against women, approximately 49,000 women were arrested for committing violence against men. (American Psychl. Ass’n. Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family (1996), p. 10.)
Domestic violence is statistically consistent across racial and ethnic boundaries. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey (NCJ-154348), August 1995, p. 3.)
90-95% of domestic violence victims are women. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings: Violence Between Intimates (NCJ-149259), November 1994.)
Much of female violence is committed in self-defense, and inflicts less injury than male violence. (Chalk & King, eds., Violence in Families: Assessing Prevention & Treatment Programs, National Resource Council and Institute of Medicine, p. 42 (1996).)
47% of men who beat their wives do so at least 3 times per year. (AMA Diagnostic & Treatment Guidelines on Domestic Violence, SEC: 94-677: 3M: 9/94 (1994).)
In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused. (Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Assistance, Family Violence: Interventions for the Justice System, 1993.)
26% of pregnant teens reported being physically abused by their boyfriends, about half of them said the battering began or intensified after he learned of her pregnancy. (Brustin, S., Legal Response to Teen Dating Violence, Family Law Quarterly, vol. 29, no. 2, 333-334 (Summer 1995) (citing Worcester, A More Hidden Crime: Adolescent Battered Women, The Network News, July/Aug., National Women’s Health Network 1993).)
Female victims of violence are 2.5 times more likely to be injured when the violence is committed by an intimate than when committed by a stranger. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report: Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey (NCJ-154348), August 1995, p. 4.)
Domestic violence is an ongoing cycle producing increasingly severe injuries over time, battered women are likely to see physicians frequently. (Children’s Safety Network, Domestic Violence: A Directory of Protocols for Health Care Providers (1992) p. (1).)
65% of intimate homicide victims had separated from the perpetrator prior to their death. (Florida Governor’s Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Morality Review Project, 1997, p. 47, table 17.)
88% of victims domestic violence fatalities had a documented history of physical abuse. (Florida Governor’s Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Morality Review Project, 1997, pp. 46-48, tables 14-21.)
44% of victims of intimate homicides had prior threats by the killer to kill victim or self. 30% had prior police calls to the residence. 17% had a protection order. (Florida Governor’s Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Morality Review Project, 1997, pp. 46-48, tables 14-21.)



Mentioning one of the Signs of the Approaching Hour of Qiyaamah, Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Mas’ood (Radhiyallahu anhu) said:

“The dunya will be pursued (and acquired) by means of the amal of the Aakhirat.”

Falling into the snare of Iblees, the Jamiatul Ulama KZN had organized an ostensibly deeni programme/lecture for women at the Musgrave Musjidul Fitnah which recently had become a stepping stone for the commission of zina. The unfortunate Jamiat KZN, like all other deviated liberals, using the Deen as its platform, lured women out from their homes to attend a stupid, shaitaani-inspired ‘nikah’ and ‘talaaq’ talk.

While the shaitaaniyat was given a deeni front, the motive was pure nafsaaniyat. These inexperienced, short-sighted junior molvis appear to be enamoured by the ladies, hence in blatant conflict with the Qur’aan they lured women out of their homes to attend their stupid talk which they attempted to camouflage with Deeni hues. But people of Deeni intelligence are able to see right through the veil of nafsaaniyat which motivated this nafsaani programme.

The Jamiat KZN fellows are supposed to be ‘ulama’. They are supposed to be aware of the following two fundamental requisites of Hijaab/Purdah:

(1) “(O Women!) Remain glued within your homes and make not a display of yourselves like the exhibition of Jahiliyyah” (Qur’aan)

(2) The unanimous Fatwa of the Sahaabah and Salafus Salaaliheen banning women from the Musjid for even the Fardh Salaat.

In the light of these two essentials, besides the numerous other Qur’aanic Aayaat and Ahaadith further confirming these essential requisites of Hijaab, it is pure shaitaaniyat and deception of the nafs which have adorned haraam and presented it as ‘halaal’, to lure women out from their homes to attend the nikah and talaaq talk of some moron molvi/s who has/have effaced their Imaani hayaa at the behest of the bestial dictates of the nafs.

What degree or type of shaitaani logic have these molvis utilized to halaalize a haraam act – the emergence of women for listening to talks – a haraam act which was declared haraam by the Sahaabah? What has happened to the brains of these molvis? It is clear that their Aql has become vermiculated by the inordinate dictates of their bestial nafs. When women were banned from the Musjid for even the Fardh Salaat in the noblest of ages despite the fact that they were permitted by Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) to attend, then by what stretch of brains can it ever be permissible for them to attend the Musjid or its environs to listen to the talks of molvis who themselves are victims of their ravenously bestial nafs?

These molvis who lure women out of their homes into the public domain under deeni guise are Signs of Qiyaamah and they come fully within the glare of the Hadith:

“Soon shall there be in my Ummah such people in whom will permeate these ahwaa (bestial/nafsaani lusts) just as rabies diffuses in a person not leaving untouched either joint or vein.”

This is the condition of the molvis of this age. They quote the Qur’aan while blatantly flouting its commands. Then they shamelessly present satanic adornment of stupid interpretations and hallucinations to justify their haraam fatwas.

The women who attend, are all afflicted with the tendencies of prostitutes and lesbians, hence they rip off their veil of Imaani hayaa to prowl in their finery and perfumed like the lewd women in brothels in the public. They then justify their zina-wanderings with the corrupt ‘daleels’ provided by molvis who act at the behest of their nafs. These molvis are the primary cause for the corruption and humiliation of the Ummah. They are the worst scoundrels under the “canopy of the sky’ according to Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

If these jamiat entities fade away into oblivion, it will indeed be a great boon for this Ummah. Their villainy prompted Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) to say that he feared them (the molvis) more than even his fear for Dajjaal. May Allah Ta’ala have mercy on this Ummah by removing the scourge and ghutha (rubbish) of the Aimmah-e-Mudhilleen. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:

“The Saalihoon (the Pious Ulama and Auliya) are departing (from the world) in quick succession one after the other. Then there will remain only ghutha (rubbish/waste matter) such as the chaff of dates or barley. Allah will have no care whatsoever for them.”



QUESTION: Some Ulama in UK have issued the fatwa that it is permissible to establish separate facilities for females at the Musjids for Salaat. They cite Imaam Abu Hanifah (Rahmatullah alayh) and Mufti Taqi Usmani in support. What is Shariah’s ruling?

ANSWER. As far as Mufti Taqi is concerned he is person’a non grata. He is a liberal who has lost his Islamic bearings many years ago. He has opened the avenue for the fitnah of immorality and riba with his corrupt fatwas halaalizing pictography and so-called ‘islamic’ banking. Meanwhile, all his halaalizing practices, especially banking fatwas are designed for the dollars. The capitalist bankers pay tens of thousands of dollars for fatwas of permissibility for their riba products.

As far as their citing Imaam Abu Hanifah (Rahmatullah alayh) is concerned, they merely flaunt their jahaalat. They are morons wallowing in ghabaawat. Haafiz Ibn Hajr (Rahmatullah alayh) said that it is only a GHABI (a chap whose brains are densely clogged with nafsaaniyat and worldly objectives) who will have the temerity to claim that it is permissible for women to gatecrash into the Musaajid.

All the arguments of ‘hikmat’ proffered by the legalizers of this Prohibition are spurious excrescences of the nafs. We have elaborately discussed and refuted all their ghutha (rubbish) arguments in seven booklets which are available on our website. It is not permissible to have facilities for females in the Musaajid. The Sahaabah had enacted Ijma’ on this Prohibition, hence no one’s view can ever override this sacred Consensus.


28 Shawwaal 1443 – 30 May 2022

Why Should I Marry?

Marriage in Islam
Why marry?
Marriage and its Connection with Fornication and Homosexuality
The Knock-on Effects of Fornication and Homosexuality
Marriage and Masturbation
A Final Word Regarding Marriage
In light of modern day, what is marriage? What does it mean? The Collins Paperback English Dictionary states under the heading of marriage: ‘The contract made by a man and a woman to live as husband and wife’.
The Hutchinson Encyclopedia states: ‘..legally or culturally sanctioned union..’. So, according to the dictionary and the encyclopedia marriage is supposed to be a relationship that joins a man and a woman together via a contract. When one looks at what marriage actually is in this modern era of the world one finds a completely different picture. It seems as though modern couples sign the contract with a get-out-whenever-you-like-upon-trivial-matters clause, which enables both the husband and the wife to scrap their marriage contracts and break their marriage oaths whenever they feel like leaving their partner and move on.
Marriage is supposed to tie a man and a woman together and strengthen their relationship. Today the world is seeing a new era where marriage is no longer considered necessary or even significant for a relationship. Islam has laid down rules and regulations for marriage and has considered marriage an important and essential part of a Muslim’s life. This lack of understanding has in itself caused behaviour prohibited in Islam such as masturbation, sexual relationships/encounters outside of Nikah (marriage), etc which are increasing day by day. I will attempt to unfold these issues using The Holy Quran and the saying of the messenger of Allah, Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him.
Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a vital part of a Muslim’s life. In fact marriage is so important in the religion of Islam that it is declared to be one half of one’s faith. As a Muslim one should live in accordance with the Islamic Jurisprudence in the way shown by the greatest of creations and the person who was the greatest impact on mankind in the existence of the universe, The Holy Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him. The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) himself married and also encouraged others to marry.
It has been reported that The Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him said,
‘A person who possesses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’
In another narration the Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him has been reported to have said:
‘Do not delay in three things;
1) The offering of the obligatory prayer.
2) The offering of the funeral prayer when the deceased’s body is present .
3) The marriage of a woman when her couple is found’
One can see from this statement that to become a complete and true believer one must act upon the advice given by The Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him. This means marrying when the partner is found and not delaying it for too long.
The Creator of the Universe – Allah – has stated in the Quran,
‘And wed the single among you’.(C24 : V32)
One can see from the above verse that the Creator of mankind himself has ordered us to marry. The scholars of Islam have stated that when Allah states an order in the Quran like the above-mentioned one then this order becomes compulsory on man hence marriage is an obligatory act. The big question must be why? Why has Islam emphasised marriage so much and why has the best of creations encouraged it so much. Surely there must be a reason. Well there are a number of reasons why Islam has emphasised marriage so much. A few of which I will mention.
Why marry?
Marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one. It makes him/her a grown up and gives him/her responsibilities whether those responsibilities are to feed and clothe the wife or to assist the husband. Marriage is supposed to take a person out of the hectic lifestyle that one is in and place him or her in an organised environment giving them a path to follow in life and a shoulder to lean on. In short marriage arranges one’s life. In Islam a man cannot have relationships with those he can marry unless it is within marriage. In other words Islam gives the right to a woman to be a wife of a man independent of the marriage relationship the man may have with another woman. This is a key difference because in the modern era a man is not guilty if he has relationships with a woman outside of marriage but the moment he contracts to treat this woman equally as his wife, he is criminalised for illegal behaviour. This is odd as the current common law does not criminalise the actual relationship of the man with another woman but punishes the solemn promise/affirmation in writing to continue. Any offspring would be illegitimate as the courts would not recognise polygamy even though it exists and is accepted in behaviour but not in writing. In some senses the increase in divorce rates and re-marriages we see nowadays is in some ways a serial version of polygamy!. There are many reasons that support polygamy but Islam limits the practice to four wives and is allowed only when one can be fair to all wives. Polygamy is only mentioned briefly here but as a subject could be read in further detail elsewhere. Please also note that the current Law of the land in this regard should be abided by.
Marriage helps to safeguard one’s imaan (faith) i.e. it stops one from committing such acts by which s/he could be considered immoral. Sins such as intermingling with people of the opposite sex or socialising as it is classed in everyday terms are not considered to be acceptable in Islam, (because it creates immorality and immodesty) even though an incredibly large amount of people will hastily class it as an ‘essential’ part of one’s day.
Marriage and its Connection with Fornication and Homosexuality
One of the most underestimated sins is fornication. Nowadays this is considered to be something which one should feel proud of with a ‘the more the better’ motto it seems which is an incredibly sad thing to say. Fornication is a despicable act in the eyes of Islamic Jurisprudence due to its ill effects on society. Many youngsters and even teenagers get dragged into this act and then suffer the consequences when they (in most cases the female) are left to look after the child and struggle greatly due to financial difficulties. Many also end up leaving the child in an orphanage; circumstances in society can create an unfortunate and challenging upbringing. Hence, fornication plays an extremely significant part in the fall of society. What makes it worse is that today’s society has considered it to be a small matter and it is not paid any attention to it (or not as much as it needs). In fact in modern society fornication is not even considered wrong (i.e. it is not even considered immoral).
Marriage also reduces the possibility of one indulging in forbidden acts of homosexuality; if a believer (i.e. a Muslim) indulges in homosexual relations they should seek Allah’s forgiveness; please note that the current law of the land should be abided by individuals and upheld by authorities. Homosexuality is not only against the teachings of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, it also seriously endangers one’s health. Homosexuals or bisexuals are much more likely to contract diseases such as AIDS and HIV from their sexual relationships than a man is who conducts sexual relationships with women. This is due to the fact that in heterosexual intercourse (i.e. man + woman) there is normally only one way that this disease can be passed on from one individual to the other and that is through the transfusion of the fluids excreted during sexual intercourse. Whereas during a homosexual relationship, during anal intercourse (also prohibited in Islam) there are two ways in which the disease can be contracted. The first way is through the mixing of the fluids and the second way is through the mixing of the blood, which is emitted from the body during anal intercourse. The risk of homosexual behaviour increases when a man fails to marry a woman. On the other hand, if a man marries a woman then the risk of him ever commiting homosexual behaviour is almost invariably mitigated.
Islam has tried to prevent those factors that cause immorality, promiscuity. Islam understands the harms of such things and has therefore laid down strict rules, Please refer to a reputable scholar for guidance on this important issue. In this way one will attempt to stay away from these sins in any possible way.
Many cases of domestic violence, rape/indecent assault and dis-functional families are caused/inflicted by people who turn around and try to excuse their behaviour by saying they did not think they were committing an illegal act. The cries and complaints of the victims are dismissed as normality in ‘this day and age’. For example: a child is left with a single parent due to non-marriage relationships easily breaking down. A rape victim is unjustly and quickly accused of ‘consenting’ as casual sex/extra marital sex is not illegal. A person is infected with a transmitted disease through extra-marital/casual sex of their ‘partner’. (A child is born with HIV due to the mother being infected by the decease through extra-marital/casual sex by herself/partner). A child is left with a single parent due to one of the parents being in a homosexual relationship. Fewer children have a brother/sister from the same parent due to homosexual relationship of a parent. A baby from casual/extra marital intercourse is killed (aborted). A decline in population due to abortions from temporary relationships. A drop in births due to same sex relationships. A decline in births causes a decrease in the number of people who look after others in old age. The nature of temporary relationships leads to a climate of doubt and questionable parentage. Paternity tests may not be error free, conclusive or affordable and legal declarations of paternity and custody can take a long time even when all parties wish it to be expedient. Children in almost all cases would prefer knowing who their biological parents are and prefer being brought up by them however temporary relationships can be very complicated and children end up being the silent victims of social crimes.
The Knock-on Effects
Unfortunately today, the state and most societies fail to acknowledge the issues slowing down the progress of a society as a whole. Many couples acknowledge bringing up children, particularly teenagers is not easy. To do so when one is single is definitely harder. The very nature of relationships out of marriage leads to temporal behaviour, devoid of commitment. Even long standing relationships are tested against time only to breakdown due to the absence of commitment in the form of a marriage contract. Children need to be nurtured, be motivated and be re-assured. They need role models and people who they can talk/confide in. Where families are broken and reflect the state of society young people do not receive the support they need. ‘Time and Money’ being the commodities that are best shared in family environments are split or consumed by ‘individual space/pursuits’. Children are left vulnerable to society’s ills and juvenile crime; leading to a life devoid of social responsibility and this degenerating cycle repeats. People attempting to attract potential sexual participants often resort to displaying themselves with the latest trend in clothes, gadgets, cars/possessions. Some waste a lot of money ensuring they replace yesterday’s gear with today’s. Money is commonly channeled away from necessities and sometimes substantial debt is incurred. These expenses may be paid by hard-earned cash however ill-gotten means (fraud/theft) fuelling such showful habits are familiar and increasing as ‘must have’ mentalities prevail. Indecent/sexual assault, rape etc are crimes that are committed where defence excuses touted include ‘honourable attention’, wrong signals’ ‘reasonable belief of consent’, etc. If sexual intercourse was legal only under marriage then some of these crimes can be prevented as there will be no excuses. There would also be a decrease in crimes centred around attention competition as again the objective would be only legal within marriage and so opportunists would find it difficult. Crime rates centred around attention competition in islamic/moral societies is considerably lower than where sexual relations/encounters outside of Nikah is not abated.
Marriage and Masturbation
One type of indecent practise, which has crept into the youngsters of today, is the practise of masturbation. This is partly due to the fact that many people decide to marry very late on in their lives, (which is not in accordance with what The Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him said). This leads them into this practice because they feel that they need to fulfil their carnal desires but they cannot do so in the normal way i.e. sexual intercourse.
Islam has condemned the act of masturbation simply because it is harmful towards a person not only physically but also morally. Masturbation contributes to the weakening of the sexual organs. One reason why people do not think that masturbating is wrong is because that is what most people are led into thinking. I can remember very well from my time in school when the teacher actually encouraged masturbation by saying that one should masturbate whenever one feels the urge and that one should not consider it to be wrong or immoral. I myself found this fairly shocking due to the fact that I came from a background where acts such as masturbation were shunned.
A Final Word Regarding Marriage
Islam has many reasons to encourage marriage such as its advantages in safeguarding one’s faith and also because marriage is an essential element in the proper upbringing of children. This is because children without one of their parents are much more likely to commit crimes etc. and in short become a nuisance to the environment they live in. Marriage plays a large part in saving one from the sins of fornication, homosexuality and masturbation. It takes away the possibility of these things because after marriage a man is supposed to occupy himself with a woman he has married and vice versa.
The Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him has himself said, ‘A person who possesses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry, then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’
Not only has The Holy Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him placed emphasis on the importance of marriage but also the Creator of the Universe (Allah) has commanded His people to marry when He says in the Quran, ‘And wed the single among you’. (chapter 24, verse 32)
From the above verse one sees again that the Creator of mankind has ordered man (not just advised him) to join in matrimony. I am hopeful that you will agree on the importance of marriage based on the above factual data / the Quran and the sayings of The Prophet Muhammad Peace and blessings be upon him.
Unfortunately though, even after much emphasis from Islam on the importance of marriage, many people still fail to acknowledge its significance. A relationship between two people is not just supposed to be a short, action-packed romance story from the studios of Hollywood (which inevitably comes to an end sooner rather than later), but it is supposed to be a serious, long-term relationship in which both individuals are content and comfortable with one another. A relationship should not exist of a one-night-stand as is the case now especially amongst students of universities, colleges and even schools. A relationship should show that both partners are ready to sacrifice and endure for their partner; the way towards this is through marriage. Until the world realises the importance of marriage as well as its benefits and advantages, it will be faced with the endless problems caused by neglecting marriage.


In preparing the wonderful gift of Allah, viz., food, the wife plays an important and a vital role in the home. She spends hours daily and devotes her entire life for the comfort of her husband and family, making available to them the wonderful divine gift of food without which life on earth is not possible. Inspite of performing such an important and wonderful service, few husbands appreciate this double bounty (Ni’mat) – the food and the wife preparing the food. Husbands take for granted that their wives are simply executing an obligatory task in the preparation of their food. This is a misconception. The Sharaih does not impose this duty on the wife. She carried it out because for love of her family. It is, therefore, most inconsiderate and ungrateful for a husband to grumble and find fault with the food if occasionally it does not satisfy his palate.

The husband should remember that he is a sinful slave of Allah Ta’ala. He fails in many of his duties. He at time neglects his family. He sins from morning till evening, yet he expects to receive faultless treatment from his wife. In harbouring such expectations he is in fact exhibiting arrogance, pride and displaying injustice to the weak servants of Allah Ta’ala.
A husband has no right to demonstrate any displeasure if he finds that the food is not to his liking. With love and kindness he may make suggestions. But, it is a sign of ingratitude to Allah for the bounty of food and the bounty of the wife’s service for a husband to be offended and show displeasure when the food is not up to his expectations. Many ignorant husbands act impatiently and arrogantly at home. They sour the relationship by losing their tempers over trivialities while they display good character and smiling faces to others outside the home. Such a hypocritical lifestyle indicates takabbur (pride) and callousness. Husbands should always value the services of love offered by wives.



A person complained to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that he is suffering from poverty. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) advised him to get married.

Is this authentic?


Hafiz Khatib Al Baghdadi (rahimahullah) has recorded this incident in his Tarikh with a very weak chain.

(Tarikh Baghdad, vol. 2 pg. 233/234. Mizanul I’tidal, vol. 2 pg. 148 – 3116-)

However, there are numerous verses of The Holy Quran and Hadiths which prove that nikah does increase sustenance, among them are the following:

1) Allah Ta’ala Mentions:

“Get the unmarried ones among you married, as well as the righteous slave men and slave women. If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his grace”

(Surah Nur, verse: 32)

Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) under the commentary of this verse would say:

“Allah Ta’ala commanded and encouraged them to get married, and he promised them wealth”

Similar statements have also been reported from Sayyiduna Abu Bakr As Siddiq and Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (radiyallahu ‘anhuma)

(Refer: Tafsir Ibn Abi Hatim, Tafsir Ibn Kathir and Ad Durrul Manthur, Surah Nur, verse 32)

2) Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“There are three types of people whom it is a right upon Allah to help and assist, The Mujahid in the path of Allah, The Mukatab [a slave paying for his freedom] who intends to pay and the one who makes nikah intending chastity”

(Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 1655, Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith: 2518 – Declared sound (hasan) by Imam Tirmidhi and authentic (sahih) by Imam Ibn Hibban; Al Ihsan, Hadith: 4030)

3) Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Abbas (radiyallahu ‘anhuma) reports that (Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Seek for sustenance in nikah”

(Daylami with a weak chain. Refer: Al Maqasidul Hasanah, pg. 82, Hadith: 162)

4) Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) said: “I have not seen anything more [strange] than a man who does not seek surplus through nikah when Allah has said, “If they are poor, Allah will make them independent by his grace.”

(Musannaf ‘Abdur Razzaq: 10393)

5) Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Marry women, for verily they will bring wealth” [through the blessing of nikah]

(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 16161, mursalan- مرسلا- , with a reliable chain)

And Allah Ta’ala Knows best.

Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala

Approved by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar

Checked by: Moulana Haroon Abasoomar


A girl trapped in a marriage with extremely lewd and filthy in-laws, laments:

“I got married 5 months ago. The problem is my in-laws don’t allow me any privacy. After the nikaah at my parents’ house we were put to sit in seclusion for about 1 hour. Then we went to an apartment. My father-in-law, mother-in-law and sister-in-law came with us in the same car. My father-in-law drove. In the car was also my sister-in-law who sat between my husband and I. 
When we got to the apartment, there were only 2 rooms, so they put my sister-in-law with myself and my husband in the same room on the same bed between us two. We stayed there for 3 nights and this continued. She slept between my husband and myself. We didn’t even get to talk because of her presence in the room and between us.
Then I went back to my parents because they dropped me off as our room wasn’t ready yet.  After 6 weeks my father brought me here to my in-laws house and my mother-in-law says the rule of her house is that my room door cannot be closed. Secondly my sister-in- law comes to sleep between us two (husband and wife) again although she is 18 years.  She only doesn’t come on Friday nights but still our door cannot be closed. 
When I complained, my mother-in-law says I must make sabr or I will get divorced. My husband also fought with his parents but they say if we move out they’ll curse him, and they will fire him from work.
I can’t do anything without my mother-in-law’s permission. I can’t even make a cup of tea if she says no.

Our Answer and Comment
This is truly a bizarre scenario. The attitude of your in-laws is HARAAM, lewd, stupid and full of shaitaaniyat. They have absolutely no shame. They are shameless fussaaq and fujjaar. In these evil circumstances prevailing at their home, it is best that you leave and go back to your parents. Your mother-in-law must be a witch, and so is your sister-in-law.
It is incredible that the sister-in-law sleeps between husband and wife. This type of immorality and utter shamelessness is unheard of in Muslim society. As long as they do not prepare a separate apartment for you, remain at your parents. If your mother-in-law threatens you with divorce, it is better to be divorced than to live with such filthy-minded people who are bereft of the slightest vestige of shame.




The Qur’aan forbids all stepping stones and introductory acts and factors leading to zina. All things leading to zina are just as haraam as zina. Among the measures introduced by molvis for indulgence in zina is opening the Musaajid for females. Based on their shaitaani, convoluted logic the Ulama, even the sincere ones, invite women to the Musaajid for Salaat and for listening to their talks. This is indeed a cunning ploy of shaitaan who has entrapped the molvis in his snare. The talk of separation or separate facilities for women is another shaitaani deception with which the molvis have become hoodwinked. Read carefully the following letter of a brother who was trapped into zina via the Musjid platform. The Brother writes:

My Adulterous Relationship from Musjid-us-Salaam, Musgrave

As salaam u alaikum

I am a musalee of Musjidus Salaam, Musgrave — the new Musjid that was built last year in Musgrave. This year on the 1st of Ramadaan I parked my car in the basement. There was a lady in a car (Note: We have deleted the type/name of the vehicle to avoid detection and recognition of the prostitute woman by her husband –The Majlis) who entered at the same time as I did. While walking to the lift, she said, “Sorry brother, which way to the ladies lift.” I pointed to it and she thanked me and smiled . I walked away thinking nothing of it. On the next evening we happened to enter at the same time again, and she smiled at me and I smiled back.

Thereafter I didn’t see her for 2 days. The next time I saw her she jokingly said, “You’ve been missing for 2 days.” I laughed and said, yes, and asked her: Did you miss me. She laughed and said nothing. When I got back to my car, there was a note on the windscreen, with a message, and a phone number. When I messaged the number it turned out to be her. We started communicating, and by the middle of Ramadaan, our messages had become x rated. We had a biting passion to be with each other. We both are married and have our own spouses. On Wednesday after Eid, we met at a hotel and spent the afternoon together. We went to the point of no return. (i.e. committed the ultimate sin of adultery—The Majlis)

I am feeling very guilty, and need to get out of this relationship, because I know it’s wrong, but I’m addicted. I’m not blaming the Musjid, because it is the House of Allah. However, the biggest sin the trustees could have committed was allowing ladies and men in the same musjid, and entering through a common parking lot.

Please make others aware so that this doesn’t happen again to me and others. Jazakallah (End of letter)

On the occasion of the expulsion of Iblees from the Heavens, he supplicateto Allah Ta’ala. He made dua to be granted several things. One of his supplications was for “TRAPS”. Accepting the dua of Iblees, Allah Ta’ala said: “Your Traps will be women.” In the terminology of the Hadith these Traps are called Habaailush Shaitaan.

Entrapping the brother as well as innumerable others in similar scenarios, Iblees fired the first arrow of zina in the Musjid basement which became the avenue of zina – an avenue created by the Ibleesi molvis and juhala trustees. The very first step towards zina was the fortuitous encounter in the basement by man and woman. This encounter belies the stupid, shaitaani claim of ‘separation’ or ‘separate facilities’. There is total free intermingling in most Musjids at the entrances and exists. The separation inside the Musjid proper is a mock separation. And, assuming a total separation can practically be established, then too it remains HARAAM for women to attend the Musjid.

The first encounter ignited the spark of zina in the man and woman. Shaitaan succeeded in planting the seed of zina in the man and woman. The woman’s expression of ‘thanks’ and ‘gratitude’ was a further act designed by Iblees to ensure that these unfortunate souls would indulge in zina. Shaitaan ensured the germination of the seed of zina which Iblees had already planted in their hearts. This expression of thanks in alluring tones was part of the net of zina being spread by Iblees. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Women are snares of shaitaan.”

The lustful smile cast by the woman provided exceptionally good fertilizer for the germination of the seed of zina in the heart of the brother. Although the brother says that he was thinking ‘nothing’ of this incident, if he reflects he will not fail to discern the lust which had been kindled. He labored in self-deception. He was already entangled in the Trap of Shaitaan.

The next night, shaitaan went a step further to solidify his trap. He planned the supposedly coincidental encounter again. Now the two went a step further in the route to zina. They exchanged smiles of zina despite the fact that they were proceeding into the House of Allah for Salaat. The sanctity of the Musjid and the Salaat did not deter them from entrapment in the meshes of Iblees and the nafs. The man had lost his thinking capability. Imaam Ghazaali (Rahmatullah alayh) said that when a man is entrapped by a woman, 80% of his brain cells become inoperative.

In the next encounter two days later, the woman discarded whatever vestige of hayaa she may have had by virtue of Imaan which she appears to have extinguished, and invited the brother by implication to zina. All the trappings necessary for actual zina had been cultivated. Thus, they committed the ultimate act of adultery in the hotel room hired specifically for the commission of adultery.

Both are married. Not the Musjid, not Salaat, not the Holy Month of Ramadhaan, not the auspicious Nights of Ramadhaan, nor the thought of their spouses and their children deterred them from the treachery and villainy of zina. They had become like atheists, entirely oblivious of the Presence of Allah Ta’ala and of the Two Recording Angels alongside them.

Molvis and jaahil trustees are primarily responsible for such zina episodes initiated in the Musaajid environs. Whatever the brother has described is not an isolated happening. Such zina encounters are on the increase in the wake of intermingling of sexes in the Musjid environs. The rubbish so-called ‘ulama’ and the rubbish jaahil trustees are largely responsible for this haraam zina state of affairs. They are the causes for zina in the Musjid and for breaking up of homes. They are guilty of the vile acts of treachery and infidelity committed by the adulterers towards their spouses sitting at home.

The veil of ignorance on the brains of some sincere Ulama is most distressing. Some Ulama despite being ‘senior’ and ostensibly ‘pious’ and operating Deeni institutions, lure women into the public domain to attend their lectures held in the Musaajid. These molvis should understand that they are guilty of debauchery. They pillage and plunder the Imaan and Hayaa of women. They should hang their heads in shame. The earth needs to be purified of these highway dacoits who rob Muslims of their Imaan and Hayaa. Shaitaan has urinated on the Aql (Brains) of these molvis – they are NOT Ulama – and he has paralyzed their intelligence. They therefore, miserably and disgustingly fail to understand the extremely simple fact of the Prohibition of female emergence from the home. How is it ever Islamically possible for Ulama to encourage women to come out of their homes to listen to their bayaans in the Musaajid when the Sahaabah had unanimously banned women from attending the Musjid for Fardh Salaat – a practice which Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) had permitted?

These molvis are not interested in the moral reformation and spiritual elevation of women. Their satanic desire is ‘female company’. They want to display themselves to the females is peacock-style – in the manner in which the peacock spreads its wings and dances. Shaitaan has really jarred the mental equilibrium of these molvis whom Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) described as “THE WORST OF PEOPLE UNDER THE CANOPY OF THE SKY”.

7 Shawwaal 1443 – 9 May 2022