Question: I would like to know: there are men these days who would like to get married but they get upset when the girl wants to stay on her own. Is this correct? I thought a girl has a right to her own living quarters.
These days apart from the in-laws and daughter-in-law relationship, what about the fitna that can occur between father in law and daughter-in-law?
Secondly, what is the condition of those men and their parents who take other people’s daughters into their homes and promise to take care of them but then turn the girls into their maids and refuse to take the girl to visit her family? Is this not zulm?
Many men and their families lie to the girls family just so they can get married and after marriage they go against everything that they said, is there a punishment for this?
Many men tell their mother’s what transpires between themselves and their wives and also tell what they bought. Is this not violation of the wives privacy?
It is the Shar’i right of the wife to have her own separate living quarters. This should be arranged before marriage to avoid the marriage breaking down.
The girl and her parents are blameworthy when the fitnah pertaining to separate living quarters erupts. They are guilty because they failed to stipulate this requirement prior to marriage. Despite being aware, they rushed into the marriage and now when the novelty of the Nikah has worn thin, they create problems with the in-laws. It is necessary to make the correct arrangements before plunging into marriage. Both parties must be blamed for the zulm.
Yes, the fitnah between a man and his daughter-in-law is a real and rampant evil. We are well aware of this, hence we always say that a certain degree of purdah is necessary and that the woman must not be in privacy with her father-in-law. People are bereft of Taqwa, hence they are dominated by their nafs and Iblees.
Making a maid of the daughter-in-law is blatant zulm. This happens in many homes. It is therefore necessary, prior to marriage, to settle the issue of a separate home. If this right is not acceded to before marriage, then the girl’s parents should blame themselves for the resultant zulm on their daughter.
It is a major sin for the husband to debar his wife from meeting her parents. He must take her frequently to visit if they live nearby. If they live in another city, then whenever it is reasonably easy, he should take her to visit them. He must not be callous. He must not acquit himself like an animal which has no feelings for its adult offspring.
The husband mentioning his intimate issues with his wife to his mother is shameless, and his mother too is shameless. Only rubbishes derive carnal pleasure from such information.
Especially in these times of fitnah and fasaad which is an age in which Taqwa is antique and so ‘out of fashion’ that even molvis and muftis frown when they hear the word ‘Taqwa’, it is absolutely necessary to make all the necessary arrangements prior to the Nikah. Nowadays nikahs break up so much and so quickly as if marriage is a sport.
THE MAJLIS VOL 26 NO 09