A Message for Muslim Males: Traditional Muslim Women Are Counting on You…

Muslim men, stay strong, and do not cave to the system.

Don’t cave to the system’s conception of “modern masculinity,” i.e., being a simp.

Don’t cave to vague and vacuous notions of “toxic masculinity.”

Don’t cave to feminism or being “an ally.”

Don’t cave to the expectation that you place the entire genus of womankind on a pedestal.

Don’t cave to the modern demand that you become emasculated and effeminate.

Don’t cave to the dictate that you live in your feelings.

Don’t cave to accusations that your masculinity is “dangerous” or “toxic” or “scary.”

Don’t cave to the mistranslation and distortion of men being “qawwamun” over women (الرجال قوامون على النساء) means merely being their “maintainers,” i.e., the servants of women rather than authorities over them.

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا

Men have whole charge over their wives, because Allah has favored the one above the other, and because they have spent well of their wealth: So righteous women are lovingly obedient, dutifully keeping everything secure when their husbands are gone through Allah’s own protection; While those who you fear may show rude defiance, first patiently admonish them, then draw away from them in bed, and failing all else, you may finally even strike them: And if they return to obedience, seek no way against them: Verily was Allah ever exalted in might over you, supreme in greatness. (Qur’an, 4:34)

Don’t cave to social pressure urging you to seek out a “strong, empowered, independent, highly educated career woman” to marry so she can help you pay the bills.

Don’t cave to the claim that you marrying the traditional type of woman, the kind you really want to marry, means that you are somehow “insecure” or “intimidated” by the stunning amazingness of modern feminists.

Don’t cave to the popular sentiment that gender roles are oppressive.

RELATED: What Gender Roles Should Muslims Aspire To?

Don’t cave to the ridiculous notion that you, as the husband, must bend over backwards to cater to your wife’s every whim and desire or that you are required to fulfill her every fancy.

Don’t cave to the expectations for you to step aside and let your wife wear the pants in the relationship.

Don’t cave to the pressure of the weaponized feelings and tears of women that are meant to hold you hostage.

Don’t cave to the demands that you become a dayyuth without honor or masculine protective jealousy over your women.

RELATED: Ghayrah: A Vital Muslim Trait in Increasing Decline

Don’t cave to the prevalent trend of becoming sedentary, complacent and distracted by useless time-wasting activities such as video games or screens over those that actually increase your masculine vigor, vitality and virtue.

Don’t cave to the call for androgyny.

Don’t abdicate your male authority or your masculine role for anything or anyone. You will have to stand alone before Allah and answer for how well you fulfilled your responsibilities as leader, authority, provider, protector and imam over your family, community and society.

So stay strong, manly, assertive, determined, brave, principled, confident, stoic, responsible, unyielding against injustoce and illicit behaviors. Stay fully within your leadership role and masculine frame.

Don’t cave to the system which seeks to strip you entirely of all your natural traits and strives to warp your fitrah (natural, innate disposition).

So please don’t cave.

We, the traditional women, are counting on you to remain traditional men.

RELATED: Masculinity in Islam: Masculine Assertiveness and Authority


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