By Umm Khalid -January 29, 2023
The dangerous thing about so-called “Muslim feminists” is that they know only random bits and pieces about Islam and apply these disparate ideas haphazardly to create a highly distorted, disturbed view.
They make arbitrary generic assertions like, “Islam is founded on mercy, kindness, and compassion!” Just a blanket assumption that they themselves assert, based on the skewed picture painted for them by their favorite Compassionate Imams.
These Muslim feminists also parrot feminist buzzwords that they try to inappropriately inject into Islam, keywords like “consent” and “freedom” and other vacuous concepts.
They make the natural unnatural. They make the beautiful ugly.
Take marriage, for example.
Muslim feminists usually end their tirades with the sentiment that Muslim marriage is “worse than prison,” as you see here in this screenshot. Typical feminist take.
In reality, Islam is free from feminist fantasies and delusions.
The Islamic marriage model is laid out for us by Allah, the Creator of both men and women, the Just, the All-Knowing. Overall, the tenor of the relationship is one of مودة ورحمة (love and mercy), سكينة (serenity, peace, tranquility), and معروف (that which is known as good, reasonable, kind). It is supposed to be a soft, loving bond between the husband and wife who find comfort and peace with one another and exist together in harmony.
But we cannot exist in harmony if we are out of sync with our fitra, our most primordial instincts and intuitions, our very human nature.
Allah tells us in the Quran certain principles and truths about the natures of men and women, femininity and masculinity, and gender roles in the family:
1. That males and females are very different:
وليس الذكر كالأنثى…
“And the male is not like the female…” (Surat Ali `Imran, 36)
2. That family roles exist and are different by gender:
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ…
“Men are authorities over women, by right of what Allah has granted one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard…” (Surat An-Nisa, 34)
3. That the husband has a particular degree of both rights and responsibilities above his wife, meaning also that he has a higher degree of authority:
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ…
“And due to the women is similar to what is due from them [to their husbands], in what is reasonable, and men have a degree above them…” (Surat Al-Baqara, 228)
4. That in certain circumstances, if the wife is brazenly committing sins or openly defiant to her husband or acting rebellious or belligerent, the husband has the right to address her infractions and curb her injustices by meting out various methods of discipline as outlined by Allah:
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا
“…But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance / defiance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them [lightly]. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allāh is ever Exalted and Grand.” (Surat An-Nisa, 34)
These are some parameters that guide the general framework of marriage in Islam, and what each party owes the other.
Both the husband and the wife have certain rights and certain responsibilities in Islam. It’s not a total free-for-all, not a blank slate we can just fill in with whatever we feel like. It’s not the liberal secular feminist model of egalitarianism or “equality” (as if such a farce is even possible).
Yet there is still some leeway for each family to adjust to its own set of circumstances within the range of the halal.
But this is not enough for the feminists.
RELATED: What Muslim Feminists Fail to Understand About Feminism
This average Muslim feminist, in the attached comment, objects to the basic structure of Islamic marriage, to the very concept of hierarchy:
She rejects the idea that the husband has the authority to “determine how much pocket money she needs.” She’s not pleased that a wife has the money that her husband gives her (nafaqa) instead of going out to work to make her own money for herself just because.
She rejects the idea that the husband has the authority to “determine who she sees, what she does.” Basically, that the wife does have to answer to her husband and obey him in what is halal. She’s displeased that the wife isn’t a total wild card, a completely free agent who can literally do anything she likes. Any sort of “restriction” is deemed intolerable to the feminist mind.
She rejects that the husband gets “the final word.” She hates the husband’s higher degree of authority (and therefore, responsibility). She wants to have zero power differential, zero hierarchy. The husband and wife must be “equals” or else the feminist will be enraged.
She also says accusingly, “She can’t refuse intimacy.” This feminist rejects the husband’s basic right to intimacy with his wife, and that the wife may not weaponize sex in the marriage. Again, for the feminist, this is an egregious breach of “freedom.”
She, right on cue, throws in the word “consent.”
To end her comment, the Muslim feminist declares that this (basically the Islamic marriage model) “sounds worse than prison” so she prefers her own “version” where Islam is exclusively built upon “kindness and compassion” and cotton candy and roses and sunshine and unicorns.
Feminism leads to a mentality where it is possible to reject the words of Allah Himself, the rules and regulations laid out by Allah, and the very principles of human nature.
Feminism is a path that leads to denying human nature and defying Allah Himself.
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