Posted on Tue 20 December 2022
ADVICE FOR HUSBANDS WHO SPITEFULLY WITHOLDING TALAAQ
AND ALSO FOR TABLIGHIS WHO ABANDON THEIR FAMILIES WHEN THEY GO FOR THEIR 4 MONTHS
The following anecdote from the Malfoothaat of Hadhrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (Rahmatullah alayh) should serve as an eye-opener and a Naseehat for such husbands who spitefully withhold Talaaq despite the total breakdown of the Marriage precluding the possibility of reconciliation.
Hadhrat Thanvi (Rahmatullah alayh) said:
Huqooqul Ibaad (the Rights of People) are of utmost importance and gravity. A man came here with the intention of Ta’leem and Talqeen (that is, for self-reformation and spiritual progress). I asked him about the arrangement he has made for his wife during his planned absence. He said that she is presently staying with her parents.
Later it transpired that there was discord between them, hence she left to stay with her parents, and that she is insisting on Talaaq. I then said to this person: “Since she insists on Talaaq, why are you imprisoning her? It is imperative to resolve this issue. If she refuses to live with you, then issue Talaaq (as she insists). Go and issue Talaaq, then come.” He went back home. After resolving the issue by giving her Talaaq which she demanded, he returned. Now he was able to engage himself in the objective (of Tasawwuf) with peace of mind.”
(End of Hadhrat Thanvi’s malfooth)
A similar anecdote pertains to Hadhrat Maulana Ya’qoob (Rahmatullah alayh) who was an Ustaadh of Hadhrat Thanvi (Rahmatullah alayh). The wife of one of his mureeds demanded Talaaq. She accused her husband of zulm, etc. When Hadhrat Ya’qoob (Rahmatullah alayh) investigated the matter and had ascertained the correctness of the wife’s demand, he physically beat his mureed who was a well-known Maulana. He compelled his mureed to issue Talaaq. (Note: It may have been another one of our Akaabireen Ulama, not Maulana Ya’qoob. This anecdote was also acquired from the Malfoothaat of Hadhrat Thanvi).
Numerous husbands refuse to issue Talaaq despite the fact of the total collapse and breakdown of the marriage, and even when there is no possibility of reconciling due to the adamancy of the wife in her demand for Talaaq.
Whether she is right or wrong in her demand is another issue. The immediate concern is the fact that the marriage has ended for all practical purposes. She has developed an extreme abhorrence for her husband, and in most cases the husband is responsible for such abhorrence. However, acting like an atheist, completely oblivious of Allah Ta’ala and the Reckoning of the Aakhirat, the husband resolves to acquit himself with venomous spite. He should understand that with his haraam and stupid action he is cutting his nose to spite his face.
Sometimes years wile away in separation, but the man refuses to release the wife from the marriage which has in reality practically terminated long ago. Flogging a dead horse is unintelligent and also sinful. It is incumbent that in such cases of irreconcilability, the man should release the woman honourably with Talaaq.
Furthermore, if she was not guilty of infidelity, then when parting, he should in addition to Talaaq, laud her with gifts to end the sad saga amicably and honourably.
Tablighis too should understand that they are guilty of grave injustice when they go on their four month and one year tablighi stints without making adequate arrangements for the family at home. They will have to answer to Allah Ta’ala for their zulm. Such tabligh which brings about violation of huqooq and zulm is Haraam.
25 Jamaadil Ula 1444 – 20 December 2022