I am the uncle of a lady involved or was involved in a love saga with a Maulana. The Maulana is a well known pious figure in the community, and he is my close friend. The lady is about 30 years old and the Maulana about 50 years. Both are married and have children. The husband of the lady is a close friend of the Maulana. He always seeks advice from the Maulana. He has implicit trust and confidence in his friend, the Maulana. Whenever the Maulana comes to the town where the lady lives with her husband, he (the husband) is the host at whose home the Maulana stays for the duration of his visit. Every morning the husband leaves to attend to his business. Sometimes the Maulana is alone at home with only the lady present, the children also having left for school. In this scenario, a relationship developed between the Maulana and the lady (my niece). They developed a strong mutual love. Everything except actual zina was committed. After some time, a couple of years, the Maulana came to his senses, and I believe the lady as well. They have realized the evil of their relationship, have made Taubah and are very remorseful. No one besides myself and of course, Allah Ta’ala, is aware of this sordid saga. I told both that in my opinion, their Taubah is not sufficient to atone for their conduct. The evil is of such a nature that it requires more than Taubah. Am I right? Both have presented some excuse for their evil conduct. The Maulana says that it was in a moment of weakness that he succumbed to his nafs; that he did not plan to develop a relationship with his friend’s wife. It was never even in his dreams. He therefore feels confident of having been forgiven by Allah Ta’ala. He has also profusely apologized to the lady via myself. The lady contends that she was young at the age of 30 and she simply became infatuated with the Maulana who was 20 years senior to her. Her excuse, in her own words: “As a young lady I was totally overwhelmed by the Taqwa, knowledge and wisdom of the middle-aged man, and simply fell in love. This led to my treacherous, erratic and out-of character behaviour.” Both are persons of the Deen. Are their excuses valid? What else should they do besides Taubah to expiate for their very evil conduct and haraam relationship. Please comment and offer us advice which will benefit others as well. I might add, that numerous people are involved in similar and worse haraam sagas. Jazaakallah!
ANSWER AND NASEEHAT
At the outset, in order to contain the explosion in us, and to avoid being judgmental – judgement which in our emotional opinion demands the assignment of this absolutely disgusting treacherous couple to everlastingly burn in Hell Fire, our brains constrain us to mellow our disgust and wrath with the following Aayat of Allah Ta’ala:
“Say (O Muhammad!) to My servants who have oppressed their souls that they should not despair of the Rahmat (Mercy) of Allah, for verily, He forgives all sins. Verily, He is the OftForgiver, The Most Merciful.”
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said that no matter how numerous and how great the sins committed may be, Allah Ta’ala forgives the sincere repenters. Therefore, even if the sins are as numerous as the bubbles on the ocean and as huge as the Himalayan mountains, the remorse in the heart wipes out all these sins even before the verbal Taubah has been made. The soul of Taubah is regret in the broken heart of the sinner, i.e. if his heart is truly broken by the absolute villainy and notoriety of the callous, treacherous and unforgivable misdeed perpetrated. ‘Unforgivable
from our perspective, not from the perspective of Allah Who is Ghafoor and Raheem – Whose mercy and ghaffaariyat are boundless and always available to the sinners. But this does not and should not detract us from the reality and notoriety of the misdeed. Allah’s boundless Rahmat is never a license for adopting a lackadaisical attitude towards sin in general and in particular towards the disgusting treachery committed by this devil Maulana and this vixen, traitorous woman. This Maulana has cruelly, deceitfully and most treacherously stabbed his friend in the back, seduced his wife and deracinated from his heart and brains the ‘knowledge’, ‘wisdom’ and ‘taqwa’ which this vixen had imagined, and presents as an excuse for her infidelity. Her presentation is a trick of her nafs to minimize the villainy of her treachery. The excuses of both are totally invalid. Their excuses are being presented to soothe their own conscience which rebels against their treacherous conduct, and to minimize the utter villainy and disgust of their treachery. This attitude – their subconscious minimizing of the gravity of their notoriety – is a dangerous trap of shaitaan to pollute their Taubah. Taubah, according to the Qur’aan must be Taubah Nasooh, i.e. a Repentance raised on the bed of raw Ikhlaas (Sincerity and Remorse). They should not present even the slightest vestige of cover or minimization of their absolutely unacceptable treachery. Just imagine! A trusting friend – a loving and caring husband is brutally stabbed in his back by his ‘trusted’ Maulana friend and his ‘faithful’ wife for whom he labours and loves so dearly. This ‘friend’ is a dacoit, a fraud, a deceit of the most treacherous kind, and this ‘faithful’ wife is an immoral vixen. Both should drown themselves in the cesspool of inequity and treachery which they have prepared for themselves. We wonder if after this treacherous brutality, did this Maulana ever have the guts to look his friend in the face? Did this treacherous woman ever have the guts to look her husband straight in the face? If yes, it indicates that they have not understood the absolute disgust of their treachery. They are banking on their Taubah. They should remember that they are dealing with a Being Who does not forget – with Allah Azza Wa Jal. Tomorrow is the Day of Qiyaamah. If Allah Ta’ala has not accepted their Taubah, they will stand there in the multitudes in the Divine Court facing the Friend/Husband. This miserable couple should ponder, in fact, meditate – engage in Muraaqabah – on that scene which could transpire on the Day of Qiyaamah. We reiterate that Allah Ta’ala is All-Forgiving and All Merciful. The Doors of Taubah never close. But the Taubah must be genuine. From the excuses proffered we discern deficiency in their Taubah. They must renew their Taubah afresh. They must refrain from presenting straws of extenuation. They must fully, fully realize their villainy and understand that they are rotten inside and outside – rotten to the core. Then with this attitude should they drown themselves in tears and cry their hearts out seeking forgiveness from Allah Ta’ala. It took the Maulana extremely long to come to his senses. If the relationship was perpetuated for years, the gravity of the villainy and treachery is multiplied manifold. The Maulana’s excuse of having succumbed in a moment of weakness to his nafs is false. The perpetuation of the haraam affair for years was not enacted in a “moment of weakness”. The continued affair has all the paraphernalia of plan and contemplation which are aggravating factors to damn and condemn the Maulana. Remaining at home alone with the lady is also indicative of planning. What happened to his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa? He is not ignorant of the Hadith Warning: “Never ever be alone with a woman, for verily the third one present is shaitaan”. His knowledge, wisdom and taqwa should have dictated that he should never have cast himself into such a dangerous combustible situation. A man and woman alone, especially when they were no longer strangers, are the ingredients for a sudden flare-up of the nafs. Did his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa not remind him that Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’aan Majeed: “Do not approach near to zina.”
But here this Maulana threw all of these Qur’aanic and Hadith warnings out of the window. The knowledge, wisdom and taqwa which do not protect a man in such combustible situations are fake. Our Mashaaikh say: “Verily, Allah loves a penetrating gaze when doubt settles on a person, and He loves a kaamil (perfect) aql (intelligence) when lust devours him.” In such dangerous situations, if the intelligence is employed to restrain and subdue the nafs, then it will be a kaamil aql, and the struggle will be more meritorious than the struggle in the physical battlefield. For a man who utilizes his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa to maintain the purity of his body, mind and heart, i.e. overwhelm his nafs by beating down his concupiscent desires to prevent himself from indulgence in haraam, Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) presented the following glad tidings: “He who falls in love (with a woman), and remains pure (in body and mind), then dies, verily he has become a Shaheed.” As for the vixen: her claim of being a ‘young woman overwhelmed’ by the moron Maulana’s imaginary integrity, is utterly baseless. She was at that stage a mature woman of 30, a mother of children, and she had a loving caring husband to attend to her desires, yet she betrayed him in such a cruel manner. Does she not know that from the age of buloogh – the age of 15 or even before – the person is an adult in Islam and is held liable by Allah Ta’ala for his/her deeds? Does she think that she is absolved of punishment for her misdeeds because of her age of 30? Does she not know that she can be stoned to death for adultery regardless of being 30 or 15? In fact, the enormity and villainy of the crime of this wicked Maulana and this vixen lady are of such egregious proportions that they should believe that they are fit for Rajm (Stoning to Death). With such a sincere attitude totally bereft of any vestige of self-vindication, they can have much hope in Allah’s Infinite Mercy and that they are or will be forgiven. What a silly, self-deceptive excuse is this “30 year old young lady” story? The lady should not delude herself with self-complacency to later find, on the Day of Qiyaamah, her treachery around her neck like a dead albatross for all and sundry to behold. Both of them should feel themselves to be dirty – filthy. The attainment of purity from their filth is no easy task. It requires repeated Taubah and self imposition of penances. But then too, effacement from memory of the treachery is well nigh impossible. Only Allah Ta’ala can help in this situation. The Maulana’s apology to the lady is stupid and baseless bunkum. What is there to apologize to her when she is the co-partner in the wickedness. Forgiveness must be sought from only Allah Ta’ala. We fail to understand this stupid concept of apology to the one with whom adultery was committed. Both are zaanis (adulterers) in the crime. They have no option other than to repeatedly renew their Taubah. A scrambled egg cannot be unscrambled. The damage is done. Now remains only regret, Istighfaar, hope and struggling to gain greater proximity to Allah Ta’ala. This is what particularly the Maulana should do, using his knowledge, wisdom and taqwa, and the lady should simply drench her musalla with tears of blood. May Allah Ta’ala have mercy on both and on us all. No one is safe from the enemy- nafs and shaitaan. Our castigation is not from a pedestal. It is not to make them despair of Allah’s mercy. It is to jolt them into realizing what they have perpetrated. It is clear to us that they have as yet not fully understood the villainy of their treachery. Their self-diagnosis is wholly deficient, and this contaminates their Taubah.
Again we say that it is not contempt which underlies our reprimand. The one who offers naseehat from a high pedestal is worse than this treacherous couple. He is a veritable shaitaan giving vent to his takabbur. The naasih who proffers advice should always bear in mind what Hadhrat Nabi Yusuf (Alayhis salaam) said:
“I do not proclaim my nafs to be pure, for verily, the nafs is a great commander of evil except the one on whom Allah has mercy.” (Qur’aan)
Our harshness is only to jolt the two miscreants. It is for their own goodness in this dunya and the Aakhirah. If they misconstrue it, the consequences for them on the Day of Qiyaamah are too ghastly to contemplate. May Allah Ta’ala forgive us all and save us from the evil of our nafs and the snares of Iblees.