A brother writes:


How does a Deeni conscious young person find a pious wife in this day and age? The following are the issues faced by many Muslim men living in the west

(A) Virtually every woman thinks it’s her right to go out and work and there is no issue with it, despite the Qur’anic injunction to the contrary? The income of that house from her earnings is therefore haraam, yet her, the husband and kids eat from that earning and then wonder why there is discord and lack of harmony.

(B) The work environment and western ideology of liberation means that a wife nowadays is more masculine than her husband in terms of her bullish mannerisms, raising her voice, laughing like a hyena, with no vestige of haya, which is supposed to be the inherent beauty of a woman. In fact, the man is rendered senseless by her increasing bravado, wondering whether he in fact married a woman or a masculine lesbian.

(C) They believe in equal rights as espoused by Western ideology which is at odds with Islam’s concept of roles and duties in society and their importance. In fact, if you explain to them the important role women play in Islam, they perceive it to be backward. Shaytan has urinated the concept of Western ideology in to their brains and they are drowning in it.

(D) Many won’t wear the niqab because either it’s a symbol of oppression or because they deceptively argue that modesty is in the clothes which one wears and, more importantly, modesty is of the heart. There was none more modest than Hadhrat Fatima (Radiallahu Anha) but apparently today’s women know better.

(E) Many “divorcees” are not even divorced in terms of Shari’ah. Either they used a kuffar court, or there is no conclusive evidence that the husband did issue divorce in the correct manner. As The Majlis has mentioned, Deen has become a mere hobby, and therefore people apply their own logic and understanding as to what is correct, without any prior knowledge of the rules.

(F) Nowadays, many a woman, makes kufr utterances weekly, if not daily. Their masculinity has led to lack of control of their mouth. Many a time we hear unthinking or dismissive statements made by them in anger which are clear cut kufr and yet they know it not and the cuckold husband doesn’t have the courage to rectify it.

(G) There is a new phenomenon in Asian communities where the woman despite getting married dictates, as per her western masters, how often she will visit her family. In fact, the time she spends with her family at the expense of the husband would suggest that the function of nikah ceases to exist.

In such fitnas mentioned above, how does a man find a wife, especially to save himself from fitna? (End of letter)


Just as it is almost impossible to find pious husbands in this immoral era in which immorality and kufr dominates, so too is it an almost insurmountable task to find a pious wife. Furthermore, in general it has been observed that even an immoral man hopes to marry a pious woman. This delusion is debunked by the Qur’aan Majeed which says that “khabeethaat is for khabeethoon and vice versa. An immoral man should not expect and yearn for a pious wife, and vice versa.

Marrying a woman who has lesbian tendencies will most certainly create severe problems which will ruin the marriage. All women who work in the public sector have haraam and lesbian tendencies. In fact, they are not only deficient in Imaan, they lack Imaan. They pretend to be Muslims in view of the fact of having been born in Muslim homes.

Whatever the Brother has commented regarding the women of today is 100% correct. But the very same comments apply to the males of today as well, and this includes molvis and shaikhs. Nowadays, being a molvi is not a recommendation for marriage. The molvis are not only corrupt in morals, but also either are deficient in Imaan or lack Imaan.

We are living in a cesspool of inequity. Genuine Muslims are being buffeted in a whirlpool of anarchy and mischief. Fitnah and Fasaad reign dominantly. There is no standard method or plan of finding a pious wife or a pious husband. Just make dua and continue the search in lawful ways. But remember, that as long the man / woman does not obey Allah Ta’ala, and if they indulge in all the porn filth so freely available today, they should regard the quest for a pious wife / husband to be a distant pipedream. They will just have to content themselves with khabeethoon and khabeethaat, and marriages in which shaitaaniyat will reign.

8 Muharram 1442 – 28 August 2020

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